Confused 🤔

[Positive2022]

I'm not really sure why i'm posting this tbh but you amazing people out there have always been so helpful and kind with your support that I felt it would be good to get this off my chest. I had a really traumatic birth in October (prolonged labour requiring multiple interventions) and about 15 minutes after I gave birth I had a severe postpartum haemorrhage which left me very anaemic for weeks after. This was after a rather stressful pregnancy (history of low progesterone... multiple bleeds...) after fertility treatment. Fast forward to now... I suspect I have had an element of postnatal depression which I think is just a result of everything we went through. I also had to say goodbye to our dear cat who meant the world to us which was also very traumatic and unexpected. Naturally I was very upset by this. I had to see the GP about some blood test results and while I was there feeling exhausted and a tad emotional (very unusual for me, I am normally able to cover up how I feel very well) asked about why I had a large postpartum haemorrhage as no one has ever explained to me why this occurred. The response was fairly blunt with 'there is nothing in your notes to indicate this happened and therefore is not significant.' I checked my notes that were given to me when I was dischaged and they clearly state that I had a large bloodloss caused by postpartum haemorrhage. Either my notes were not forwarded on or they were not read correctly. I was also then advised that if I want more children I need to 'get on with things now' as I am 35 and age is now against me. I am just so very grateful that we have come as far as we have and want to enjoy every minute but feel really confused about the complications and whether this is linked with VERY heavy periods I am now experiencing 🤔 do I go back and chat things through again? I feel like a nuisance 🙈

[jessyjessy572]

Hi Poppy, I am really sorry that you feel this way, but unfortunately I am finding that in UK the health care is very poor especially when it comes to GPs. Most of the time when you need specialist care at fiat you need to see the gp for referral, and I am finding that everything related pregnancy, having kids and all the struggle behind it they have no sympathy or any understanding of. I have not been through what you are experiencing now, but through other complication with pregnancies I have learned that if you want to get any help you have to keep coming back and asking for answers and support. I really hope you will feel a little better soon and find some answers that will keep your mind at rest .

[Positive2022 in reply to jessyjessy572]

Thank you for your response and I do agree. I really hate complaining 🙈 I have had so many errors throughout our care (wrong blood tests being done... referrals going missing, not to mention my confidential notes being posted through someone else's letter box... mishaps with appointments etc etc) I think I just feel a bit sad and confused at the lack of postnatal support especially for those who have had a really difficult history and then I feel such a nuisance at chasing everything up 😢 im so sorry your support has also been poor I hope you are okay xxx

[Maisie8]

Hey Poppy149.

You are never a nuisance! The NHS is there to help you. If you are not getting any answers from your GP, try another. I know it’s a lot of time and effort on your part especially with a young baby but it’s worth it in the end.

I’m a little older than you and my daughter has just had her first baby a month after you.

But I went though a significant haemorrhage after my second child so I can imagine how you feel. It takes a while to feel semi normal again.

Did you show your hospital notes to the GP? It is important you get the answers you’re looking for. The GP also told me I had post natal depression where in reality I think I was just completely tired out. Losing a lot of blood obviously makes you feel completely washed out.

If you can get plenty of rest while your body recovers, even now then do it.

Hope you get it sorted and you get the answers you want.

[Positive2022 in reply to Maisie8]

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I didn't take my notes in as I assumed that the GP would have a copy. I suspect that the doctor I saw just didn't read my notes thoroughly enough. I guess I was a bit embarrassed as I felt I was having to convince her that the bleed happened and then subsequently felt I was making a fuss about nothing. The reality though was a crash team being called and a 'major' haemorrhage. I was told though that I am still bleeding too heavy even now and could consider a gynae referral but this wasn't advised if I want more children 🤔 I think I may go back and talk things through again. Hope you are okay xxx

[Cheekymonkey85]

So sorry to hear you've had such a rough time xx

You could perhaps see your health visitor about a debriefing? Its a meeting where you can discuss your labour & what happened to try to help this that had a traumatic time come to terms with & understand what happened.

Not sure if it's the right circumstance but it could be beneficial x

[Positive2022 in reply to Cheekymonkey85]

Thank you for your response. That's a good idea, I may do that. It's finding the right professional who has the time to review things and just explain what happened as I still really have no idea as to why a) I was left so long and b) I ended up with a 'major' haemorrhage and whether this could have been prevented. It just wasn't helpful that nothing was clear in my notes 😢 thanks so much, I hope you are okay xxx

[Binky1983]

I’m sorry you had such a traumatic time. I know in my area there is a service ran by either the midwife or health visitor where they go over your notes and make sure you understand what happened. As cheekymonkey suggested I would speak to your health visitor or even ring the maternity ward you gave birth on and see if they have it in your area. The number for my area is on my maternity notes which is why I know about it. Good luck x

[Positive2022 in reply to Binky1983]

Thank you so much for your support. That's a really good idea. I'm sad to report that I had a fairly negative postnatal experience in hospital as up until then our support with the health service has been brilliant. I think I was too ill to fully comprehend everything

at first and nothing was explained to either me or my husband but after plucking up the courage to go back, I ended up leaving the Gp surgery feeling so deflated and non the wiser. Thank you for taking the time to respond and I hope you are okay xxx