Sleep where did you go? Apologies in advance for the potentially incoherent babble ahead...

Maybe it's because I was too tired before bed ha ha. Or because I have whooping cough jab and 16 week midwife appointment today. I am still not over my cough I developed on 29th December but now also wondering if it could be that I have acid reflux. It's a thing apparently. But why did my body and brain decide it was ok to have about 4 hours sleep last night? Even now I should be blissfully snoring away for another hour!

I think on balance I am worrying about the appointment. What if they find something wrong this time? Will they actually do anything to check that?

I am a natural born worrier though.

Do you know what though? I really feel secretly that deep down i love that I am finally able to moan about these things. Finally able to think about how we will arrange the house, where the nursery will be, daydream 24/7 about taking the baby for a walk, feeding "cado" - that's it's name this week as apparently the size of an avocado and we don't want to learn the sex. Thinking about what clothes I would dress them in, and what I would certainly not.

Ha, now I am worried that I am worrying too much about that. Maybe that's why I can't sleep - excitement.

Sorry about the stream of consciousness, just had to write it down and it's actually helped.

Hope all you ladies on here who have graduated from the fertility group, who have struggled for years to get to the point of being able to nervously utter the words "I'm pregnant" (still feels weird right?) are all doing well and beginning to find ways to relax and enjoy your pregnancies. It's a tough world out there and for now we have a little victory.

See, I need sleep! Ha ha xx

[KJLee]

I have my 16 week midwife app today too 🤗 hopefully was just your excitement keeping you up. Sorry to hear you’ve still got your cough! Hope all goes well today xx

[Hidden in reply to KJLee]

Oooh good luck and thank you. I think I am nervous but excited too. Just trying to keep my negative nelly at bay xx

[KJLee in reply to Hidden]

I know what you mean! Hopefully in a few weeks time we can start to feel ‘Cado’ and ‘Frostie’ (original huh 😂) wriggling around for reassurance.

Don’t think the negativity will ever leave us after all we’ve been through but hope you are able to feel mostly excited about the whole thing. We deserve to! Xx

[Hidden in reply to KJLee]

All done. Another non event really. I don't know why I think something momentus is going to happen at these things ha ha. Hope yours goes well too x

[KJLee in reply to Hidden]

Haha yes mine too! In and out within about 20 mins. The next one sounds like a good one though, lots more info being given about antenatal classes, breastfeeding and being able to hear the heartbeat! Still waiting for my 20 week scan to come through 😤 midwife is chasing it for us today 🤞🏻 xx

[Hidden in reply to KJLee]

Sounds great x

[Barbara1012]

Bless you! I have my first booking in appointment with the midwife today and exactly the same / sleep seems to have left me and replaced by hourly trips to the loo. . We’re 8 +1 today. I am too scared to get excited but can’t wait to. I need the 12 week to hurry up. I’ve secretly picked out the nursery colours and furniture - we’re having twins. It so hard not to shout it from the rooftops. All the best today and hope your cough gets better soon xx

[Hidden in reply to Barbara1012]

Wow twins. Amazing. Hope all goes well for you today too.

I do feel like I am two people. One is confidently striding through this and the other is a unrivalled wreck in the corner. Most of the time I manage to avoid that one but when it comes to appointments, scans etc she triumphs. Maybe she will quieten over time ha ha xx

[Hidden]

I always felt exactly the same before any appointment. I was always terrified that something would go wrong. I totally did not enjoy pregnancy as much as I should of. Any time I thought what it would be like to have baby here I would then get all down and upset thinking I was going to jinx it.

Hope you can get some more sleep tonight as you would have had your appointment xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Me too. OH will be back from his work trip too so all will be better in the world x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Let us know how you get on. Hopefully they will listen in to the heartbeat for you 😍 xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh that would be amazing (and a little scary) xx

[Hidden]

I don’t think the worrying ever goes, I still worried before my 20 week scan in case something was wrong. I think it’s a mother’s prerogative!

I am wishing you the best for your appointment & hope you get reassurance. You should be able to hear the heartbeat today ; it’s amazing😍 I hope your baby behaves better than ours did she decided to move away from the midwife 🤣

Look forward to hearing a update later 💗xoxo

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hey Jess1981

Thanks. All done. I am now whooping cough jagged up and had 2nd midwife appointment. Didn't get to listen to the heartbeat as they don't do that here any more. They do it after 20 week scan "as it's more reliable". Never mind. All that sleeplessness for nothing. They really just asked if I had any swelling, took my blood pressure and discussed the fact that all results from 10 weeks were normal.

Next stop 20 week scan in a month! Eeek. Glad my belly is growing so I kind of believe something is happening x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Glad it went well 💗

It’s strange how different areas do things differently. Our midwife listened to our baby’s heartbeat at 16 weeks. Our 20 week scan got booked when we had our dating scan.

Not too long till the 20 week scan, the pictures are so clear 😍

Have you brought anything for the baby yet? We’ve started clothes shopping, so exciting when it’s for your baby! xoxo

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

We have bought a travel system as it was hard to ignore the bargains in the January sales. So that is ordered from mama's and papas and will arrive in June. Nothing else yet though. We have my in laws living with us temporarily at the moment as they are waiting for their house to be built. They are in what will be the nursery, so no room at the moment for anything. I guess that's maybe a good thing for the moment. Ha ha xx

[chrissie_81]

Ooh, another exciting milestone hun! I'm sure that you will be able to have a better nights sleep tonight after the appointment worries have subsided! And I'm sure you're right that there's a lot of excitement mixed up in there too! Excitement and nerves do not make for good sleep, like the night before an exam, but much much more exciting and life changing! Hehe! And I'm sure you'll get to hear the heartbeat (I did in the end, that Bounty email just worried me unnecessarily!!) and it's so magical! Thinking of you lots, another exciting day on this pregnancy journey! 😘💖 xx

[Hidden in reply to chrissie_81]

Thank you. I am really looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight. And will be trying Rennie before bed to see if that helps xx

[E_05]

I’m still terribly anxious which is always worst before any appt, I hope yours went well today. I keep trying hard to enjoy moments but then think I’m going to jinx it and just go back to worrying 🤦🏼‍♀️ like you I’m a natural born worrier. I hope you get a better nights sleep tonight xx

[Hidden in reply to E_05]

Thank you. I think having had the appointment (All ok but really just checked blood pressure) and with OH back tonight, oh and trying Rennie's, I think I will sleep like a log x

[E_05 in reply to Hidden]

Glad all is okay, did they listen to the heart beat for you? X

[Hidden in reply to E_05]

No, they won't do that here until my appointment after 20 week scan. They say it's not reliable until then (probably to do with funding) x

[E_05 in reply to Hidden]

Oh that’s fair enough, every midwife seems to differ. Won’t be long until your scan at least x

[Hidden in reply to E_05]

Just a month to go which will fly by I am sure. And now that I have the green light to take Rennie I might get rid of my remnants of cough. I really think the cough is gone and I actually am suffering from reflux... we shall see x

[Masha111]

Hi my night buddy...

Sorry its been hectic at work today so havent had much chance to come on here until now. Glad u have had ur apt and that it went well. My whooping cough injection is at 4pm. Did ur arm hurt after you had it? Where we are it is given some time after the 20 week scan.

You will enjoy your apts where you listen to heartbeat and your 20 week scan will come round quick too.

Pleased to hear your cough has finally subsided and its reflux now hey. It will all be worth it hun in the end x

'Cado' doesnt want you to worry (even though it cant be helped)... just think you wont get this time back so try to enjoy it now as you will find it does go quick (you'll see). At least you are out of the danger zone of being past 12 weeks.... you are in good hands and only good things will happen to you now...keep telling yourself this and it will ease your worries.

Ps i love reading your posts some do make me chuckle (you would make a good writer...when is your book out? It would make a wonderful read) xx

[Hidden in reply to Masha111]

Aww that's so sweet of you ha ha. All fine. Arm is a little sore (but only when I move it 🙊). Only been up to pee once tonight - hurray for little victories xx