Getting worried

[Newbe96]

Im 34 weeks now and I’m so scared of not making it out on the other side in other words dying during labour, I have social anxiety and I’m lying in bed In tears I’m afraid I’m never going to see my baby grow up and not seeing my precious partner ever again. My heart is going so fast. I’m not really asking for anything but does anyone else feel like this? Bare in mind this is my first baby and dying is my scariest fear in general but thinking about it while pregnant scares me even more.

[hxanita]

I thought bk you’re doing really well and so try and concentrate on that. I know it’s hard hun. I suffer from anxiety and literally everything I found petrifying some days. Trust me everything will be absolutely fine and you will enjoy a happy motherhood

Lots of love

Xxx

[LucyJJ]

I can totally relate to that. I felt like that myself, probably even worse during the second pregnancy. In the first one I was ‘just’ worried about dying and my baby growing up without me. In my second pregnancy I was in labour and had to say goodbye to my son to go to hospital to give birth. And I was scared I’d never come back to see him again.

What everyone kept telling me was that nowadays we are so advanced with medical support and intervention, giving birth is very safe. Yes things can go wrong but nowadays women don’t just die during labour.

For me i came a lot closer to dying during pregnancy with my latest pregnancy as it was ectopic and my tube burst. So things can go wrong early in pregnancy as well! And yet we are not really worried about that... labour and giving birth is scary, it’s the ‘not being in control’ and facing the unknown. What I can say is that as and when you go through it, your mind is going to be so preoccupied with what you need to do, you’ll just get on with it.

Remember your baby picks up vibes. Try and focus on the positives, create long-lasting memories now - fun bump shoots (not even professionally), a cast of your bump, a diary for your baby of the things you did and ate leading up to birth etc etc. Just really focus on all the positive aspects.

I know that in the middle of the night that doesn’t necessarily help but then try and get an app for relaxing breathing or mindful thinking to help you!

[Lizabelle1985]

It might be worth making an appointment with the midwife as she can help talk through any fears or anxieties and put in control elements. You could arrange a visit to where you will giving birth, speak to the staff and ask questions

[SilkeP in reply to Lizabelle1985]

I tried that. With two different hospitals. Sadly most won't let you visit the maternity/birth units nowadays.

[kt_11 in reply to SilkeP]

Worth a try though - my hospital let me visit the unit and a lovely support worker showed me around so I guess it depends on which hospital you’re under😊

[LucyJJ in reply to kt_11]

Definitely worth a try!

None of the ones here seem to allow it, they are so busy. But maybe that’s a London thing?!

But yes I’d definitely try!

[Cpr2018]

I have GAD and this was one of my fears in the run up to my due date. What I found really helped is: talking to my support network (partner, parents, community midwife team) whoever that may be for you, be open about your fears with the people you can trust to give you honest, supportive, non dismissive feedback; next I did a little bit of hypnobirthing - I didn’t bother paying for classes I just did some free online stuff and a lot of visualisation and positive affirmations! Thirdly, I’m a sucker for numbers - I looked up statistics of mortality rates and they are INCREDIBLY low in the UK and in very very extreme and specific circumstances. Next, trust the process - even though you’re unsure and scared, your body knows what to do in labour. Remember adrenaline and fear reduces your pain threshold meaning you’re more likely to need pain relief and intervention if you’re panicking. Stay calm, let your body take over and you will be fine! Talk to your midwife throughout. At some point baby will be all you can think of and getting them out safely will be your only concern. Take care and be kind with yourself xxx

[Sisi07]

Hi, I’m 4 month pregnant now, after miscarrying last October. At the beginning I was very afraid of loosing this one as well, so almost panicking, what helped me was guided relaxation and yoga nidra, which is a very deep relaxation with positive visualisation, you can find some e specifically for pregnancy on you tube. It really helps to rebalance stress hormones and keep anxiety levels down. Talking to people about it help as well, and your midwife may refer you to mental health service for pregnant women for Counseling, what can be very helpful (I’m doing psychotherapy and it was very helpful to help me with my fears). Lastly, but very helpful as well, look for some yoga for pregnancy, I’ve been in a class were the teacher is also a doula and hypnotherapist, she teaches not only yoga, but also helpful things to help with labor. Where are you located? If you would like to talk more about this things, or tips to find classes or meditations, yoga nidra and etc, send me an private message.

Hope you keep calm and enjoy this blessed time, we are powerful creatures, our bodies were designed to give birth, we have to trust the process!

Much love