Am I Right?

[AndrewT]

Dear Observant People,

I just watched a Weather Forecast, it said.... "Cold In All Areas".... Well it's NOT Cold in here, in fact, my thermometer Makes it about 22 degrees (it always 'reads' a bit Hot, so it's probably about 21- nice and comfortable anyway.)

Some people think, that I'm 'Just Plain Daft'... well I looked in the mirror and, Upon Reflection, I think they Might Be Right.

Have you ever seen, a Notice- normally on a Door- that reads "This Door is To Be Kept Closed At ALL Times" well how the Heck do you go through it then? Whose it for Ghosts only?

I saw this, or very similar, on a Microwave Meal. ....Ensure that, the food, is thoughly Cooked through, before consuming. Warning 'Cooked Food' Will be Hot. (isn't that the point?)

This is actually true, on the Sea Front, near to where my Mother lives, it actually states "Cycle Lane Look BOTH Ways"... am I a Gecko?

Have you ever been at a Crossing, probably at Traffic Lights, where a notice says 'Look Left'? I did, that's where all the vehicles were.... surely better look Look Right?

If a Magazine is Marked 'Free Please Help Yourself' most of the Stack is still there, however if it's marked 'Do Not Remove' the Whole Lot is Gone.

Finally a 'Funny' Rhyme, not 'Mine' I haven't the 'Time'....

Mary had a Little Lamb,

She Tied it to a Pylon,

Ten Thousand Volt, shot up it's....,

And tuned it's Wool to Nylon!

A Four Wheeled vehicle is Less Stable on Three Wheels.. but a Two Wheeled one is More Stable but if we put on Roller Skates (six, or eight, wheels) we are Far LESS Stable.

If you take the Salt, Pepper, Vinegar, Mustard, Salad Dressing, and so on, into the Kitchen.... is that CONDIMENTS, To The Chef?

If frozen milk, is 'Iced Milk', frozen juice is 'Iced Juice' and frozen yoghurt is 'Iced Yoghurt'... what is frozen ink? (you said it).

Did you hear about the 'Alcoholic' who, in Desperation, drank a Bottle Of Furniture Polish? He came to a 'Horrible End'... but a Beautiful Finish!

I think, that I had Better 'Finish' too.....

AndrewT