We turn corners and we renew.
This has been the most disastrous year for me and so many in the same boat,we have known losses and grief but we are still here,all be it battered and emotionally bruised.
My great friend L is now dealing with the same as I went through and its heart breaking,and David's school friend J is now in later stages of Dementia,he remembers no one,cant talk or walk, Dementia has to be the cruellest of diseases,and my prayers are for a cure as i never want to see that kind of suffering again.
This year of Covid19 has affected us all in so many different ways,and i think we have learned who our friends really are,so many fair weather friends are devoid of genuine concern,they dismiss us with a few meaningless words ,but on the other hand there are people who do really care.
I miss socialising,but having been all but isolated for most of the year i have coped,i dont know how but i have,despite feeling at times wanting to throw in the towel.
Of course i get overwhelming feelings of being unworthy and useless but my indomitable spirit sees me though.
My church has been an inspiration,my friends who constantly phone me from distant shores,my circle of close friends who i have video calls with,have made me feel truly blessed.
Not only have i lost my soulmate but i have been dealing with so many things on a daily basis,and still these things are arriving daily,I have been let down badly with our management agent who should have dealt with problems as they came in ,instead of putting things on the back burner...I digress.
Because of the new rules in place,i will be staying home instead of partying as was planned,and i will not risk spreading or contracting Covid19.....it would be extremely irresponsible,and quite frankly non of us are safe,it only takes one person to infect many. ! And so i have a very busy Christmas lined up ,all be it,from a distance,with phone and video calls,and that suits me well.
I wish everyone a safe and happy few days,its going to be different,but so what,we can get through this.x