Modern technology and old age doesn't... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

9,737 posts•

Modern technology and old age doesn't always go smoothly

BazzakReading Rabbits•

Ok they are bad!! 😊

I went to an Eskimo restaurant in London and asked the waiter about the specials. He said "We've got whale meat, whale meat, whale meat or we've got the Vera Lynn". I said "What's the Vera Lynn?", he said...

"Whale meat again”

Last night my wife and I watched three DVDs back to back. Fortunately, I was the one facing the telly.

I took out a bank loan to pay for an exorcism. If I fail to keep up repayments I’ll be repossessed.

Jokes about white sugar are rare. But jokes about brown sugar? Demarara

The urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is only a whim away.

Q. In the film Zulu; what was the name of the first Zulu killed.

A. His name was Will; because Michael Caines first words were " fire at will"

Just met a transvestite from the Greater Manchester area...

He had a Wigan address!

"I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets".

Written by

Bazzak

Reading Rabbits

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99 Replies

•

5 years ago

😂🤣😂🤣 you certainly made me laugh on this wet and miserable day 👍😊

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply to5 years ago

Yes, bit wet and windy today and the weather's not too good either! 😊

Hope you are all well Lynne, keep safe 💕x

• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

😂🤣😂🤣

springcross• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

😂😂

Marnie225 years ago

Ha ha ha. 😂🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

Hope you are well young lady x

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Thank you. I am fine. I hope you are doing well. Gosh, aren't we civil today? 😄🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

I'm sure it won't last long my darling😗xx

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Just what I was thinking!! 😄🌸

• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

We will have to get our thinking caps on !! Xxxx❤️💜

Marnie22• in reply to5 years ago

😆😆🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

Marnie did you know

I put the sexy in dyslexia

😘😘😊x

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Are you sure you don't mean the 'ex?' 😆🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

I new the niceties wouldn't last long!🙂🙂

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Aren't 'niceties' what ladies wear instead of pyjamas? 😄🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

What do you call a horse in pyjamas?

A nightmare.

🙂💕

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Did you know that the term, 'nightmare' came from the old idea that bad dreams were caused by a kind of spirit horse that sat on your chest while you slept?

I get my nightmares from reading Bazzak's posts...... 😆🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

🤣🤣 I really am stupid to think I could win this raillery!!x

And talking about raillery.

My boss said "You're the worst train driver ever. How many trains have you derailed to date?" I said "It's hard to keep track."

🙂

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Ha ha! I nearly lost my train of thought at that one! 🙃🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

You think you may win but

Reading between the lines can be extremely dangerous,

particularly if you are at a train station. 😚

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

I am going to have to 'up' my training regime for jokes....... ☺🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

I have found you a nice rucksack that you can keep my jokes in forever Marnie.

Oh and I'm not calling you an equine 😊💕

amazon.com/PrinceWu-Sword_S...

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Very cute! Remember the Teletubbies? I have a Tinky Winky backpack. Honest. I bought it when I was an infant school teacher! 😄🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

I believe you and it is so sweet. God we are being nice to each other again ! 😁x

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Oh no! That was an accident! I forgot my sarcasm pill this morning! Normal service will be resumed A.S.A.P.

😆🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

🤣🤣🤣 I love you an your banter in the nicest possible way xx

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Thank you kind sir. I am a bit disgruntled today, (don't know why,) so I appreciate that. 🤔🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

Sorry to hear that, I'm always here for a chat if you need. Xx

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Thank you. 🙂🌸

KB47• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

Good one there Marnie. 😊💮

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toKB475 years ago

Don't praise her it goes to her head, and that's big enough already !!!😁xx

KB47• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Now, Now..Don't be like that. ☹. 🤗 xx

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

It's not my head that's large. It's a different part altogether. But it is comfortable to sit down at least. 😆🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

😁xx

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Finally, I have made Bazzak speechless! You can all thank me later! 😆🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

Marnie, you are scraping the bottom of the barrel now, it's a big barrel!!😚

Marnie22• in reply toKB475 years ago

Thank you! 😊🌸

5 years ago

Yes, really bad Bazzak, but very funny! What's wrong in that pic? I don't understand. That's how I've been unfriending all my unwanted contacts. Is this not the way to do it? 🤣

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply to5 years ago

😆xx

Activity20045 years ago

This is really funny! Thank you for sharing it!😀👍👍🌈

MadBunny5 years ago

They are brilliant👍I especially liked the Zulu and lion sleeps ones xx

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMadBunny5 years ago

I think the Greater Manchester one will be lost on our American friends !🤔xx

MadBunny• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Maybe- unless they're familiar with the area.

mattymoo335 years ago

Keep 'em coming Bazzak. My dad loves them🤣🤣

MadBunny5 years ago

Sadly some of our local companies have gone out of business.

The bra shop has gone bust, the shoe shop has given staff the boot, the Chinese restaurant has been taken away and the blind shop has closed, so it's curtains for everyone.

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMadBunny5 years ago

🤣🤣xx I have competition 😘

MadBunny• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Oh I forgot to mention, the company that makes tarmac has reached the end of the road😊

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMadBunny5 years ago

A German went into a bar and asked for a Martini.

Dry? Asked the barman.

No, just the one thanks the German replied

KB47• in reply toMadBunny5 years ago

I Love them MadBunny.👍. Bazzak have sure got competition with you today. 😄🌼

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toKB475 years ago

Glo, she's not all the ticket, here's the proof, when she went to the Doctors !!

MadBunny: every day I feel more and more like a cartoon rabbit

**Doctor:** you have a bad case of updoc

MadBunny:** what’s updoc?

**Doctor:** this is more serious than I thought

🙂x

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Oh no! Can we all get personalised jokes now?!😀🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

I have made one up for you Marnie, but I think it's too naughty for here.

🤗🤗

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Mmmmm. I am wondering now........

😆🌸

KB47• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

Go on Marnie. Bet him to put it on here. Could be something naughty but nice. 🤗😘.x.

Marnie22• in reply toKB475 years ago

That's for Bazzak to decide. I couldn't possibly comment! 😀🌸

KB47• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

Marnie I don't think that Bazzak would dare to put on here what he is really thinking.🤔 🌼

Marnie22• in reply toKB475 years ago

I think Bazzak is very innocent. He's just misunderstood........(!) 🙂🌸

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

Stop it Marnie you know I couldn't put it on here 🙈🙉🙉🙊xx

Marnie22• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

😄🌸

Agoodenough• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

We are all intrigued!

Marnie22• in reply toAgoodenough5 years ago

As you should be. Bazzak is an intriguing fellow. 🙂🌸

S11m• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

That might be Bizza...?

KB47• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Hahaha. 🤣😂😃😄😅. I had to think about that one for a minute or two.But now that I've worked it out 👍

OMG. I can't stop laughing. 🤣😃😊 🤣😅🤗. xxx

Agoodenough• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Haha haha 😂😂😂

MadBunny• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

I thought my ears were looking longer when I looked in the mirror this morning.

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMadBunny5 years ago

I should have realised you would have found it !.

Unlucky re Sheffield United at Arsenal today, 😒 not disgraced.

And talking about Sheffield a Yorkshire joke.

A Yorkshireman is at the vet's.

' 'Ow do, lad. Come to see thee about mi cat.'

'No problem', says the vet. 'Is it a tom?'

'Nay, lad! Brought 'im wi' me!'

😘😘

MadBunny• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

I only saw it today.Utd are not good at the moment though.

Loved the Yorkshire joke! Btw I'm actually originally from north Nottinghamshire not Yorkshire but very close to the Yorks border. Sheffield is closer than Nottingham and most people support one of the Sheff teams. I started supporting Utd because my big brother supported them and took me to matches.Mum was a Yorkshire lass.

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply toMadBunny5 years ago

😁x hope you and hubby are well Maria xx

MadBunny• in reply toBazzak5 years ago

Yes we are thanks. Just fed up with this damp weather.Hope you and your wife are too xx

Smiler535 years ago

They still made me smile bad or not 😆

footgo5 years ago

Thank you Barry, we definitely need a few smiles today, dark, wet and chilly, plus the news on all the news stations, a gloomy day in more ways than one.

I wish that you could hear C chuckling away, a constant flow of chuckles, great to hear. Much appreciated. 😌🙃😀

We wish you and your wife a wonderful evening and a relaxing day tomorrow. No school runs.

T & C 😁

BazzakReading Rabbits• in reply tofootgo5 years ago

Love to you two too, keep well xxx

Agoodenough5 years ago

Love yourJokes Bazzak. Keep them coming😂

Marnie22• in reply toAgoodenough5 years ago

He won't stop. I feel it in my bones! 😄🌸

Agoodenough• in reply toMarnie225 years ago

I know. Don’t know why I’m encouraging him, not that he needs any encouragement! x

Marnie22• in reply toAgoodenough5 years ago