It seems like an eternity since we've all been locked away,and its not getting any better,every day seems much the same,and i forget if its Wednesday or Friday.
Every day i wake up intending to do such a lot but i end up doing non of it.
Weeks ago i pulled the wallpaper off the walls in my kitchen,bought tile paint to freshen up the tiling,(its actually very good) ,so i am surrounded with paintpots,brushes,tools and ladders,all awaiting my time to get busy,but heck its still just an absolute clutter,and i have to move ladders to get to the microwave and cooker,and i dare not take them away or i will never get started.
i really have no excuse other than a touch of lazyitus,although i have had a huge amount of paperwork to get through,and i need to be a lawyer to understand the half of it,but plod on i do,and hope i make the correct decisions.Give me a days manual work and i get through it very well,but give me office work and i'm done,although this is a contradiction judging by what i've already written,as i cant honestly get going on anything much.
If my partner was still here he would be horrified how i've let things slide,actually he would'nt as he was an absolute hoarder,and we used to have a few words when things started to creep from his office into the dining room and beyond.
Returning to the single life is hard,I miss having a loved one near to discuss things,shopping and paying bills alone is a solitary occupation,one that i thought would never happen to me,and yet,realistically its bound to happen to all of us one way or another.
All my life i have suffered with anxiety and depression,and i worry about everything,and what with the virus affecting us all life is more difficult than ever,and yet,somehow,and dont ask me how,but i cope ,because i have to,I have no choice.
And so,to all you lovely people in similar curcumstances,dont beat yourself up when things are going wrong,be kind to youself and know that things can be resolved another day,and this coming from me is unheard of,as i always wanted and expected things to be done yesterday,but i have learned, that i can come through this major hurdle,wiser,stronger and with less expectations than ever before.
Be kind to yourself,learn to love yourself,and be the person you want to be,no one can do everything for us,we can and must do many things alone to regain our pride and worth,just little steps at a time,sometimes we may falter on those steps,but its no shame to try to walk those steps again.
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secrets22
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Hello, if it helps I, am going through a similar experience too! A bit depressed, nothing much to look forward to, missing a husband who died some years ago, one day rolls into the next. Your post could have been written by me.
To add to everything, I bought a new second hand car last week. Today was the first time out with it on a trial run. After doing some shopping I called in to fill up with petrol. Doom and gloom I managed to put diesel in the tank instead of petrol. Fortunately a lovely, kind man offered to bring me home so my faith in mankind has been restored. I am now waiting at home for the recovery company to bring back my car.
Life is full of ups and downs, some more than others. Tomorrow is another day!
Oh no...poor you,i once made that mistake and i was in pieces being so thoughtless,but its very easy to do,and i wish you all good wishes at this troubling time.
Excellent advice! I’m sure many of us ‘in isolation’ feel a lot like this! As my wife always says “I’ll get stuff done, when I get round to it!” That ‘‘tis the way it is, some days”. Thanks for your words of wisdom! Wishing you the best!
Hi secrets22, I smiled, because this is very much me, with great enthusiasm at the beginning of a project followed by its waning as I get into it. I think it's a very common human failing.
And sometimes it's because we take on too much for the wrong reasons.
Very often I'll start something as a distraction to push problems out of the way, when I'd do better to examine those first and find the cause, the effect and the solution, andthen decide if I really want to get on with a project.
This is an extraordinary time for all of us, and a growing realisation that it's going to go on for an awful lot longer than we anticipated.
You are quite right. It is OK to not be OK, but only if you take great care not to let depression and anxiety overtake your life.
So please be watchful that feeling tired and not wanting to do much isn't the start of a clinical depression, and, if you feel that it might be, get some proper professional advice from your GP. In a way that's what 'It's OK to not be OK means'. There's absolutely no shame in it. It's a medical condition and it can be helped in ways which won't have you sitting in the middle of a half finished kitchen wondering how on earth you'll gee yourself up to get on with finishing it!
Take care and please be kind to yourself 😃🙏👍
Your post has cheered me up, as I am going through a dreadful time. I have reached the conclusion that I cannot fix someone who is broken. My husband has refused to go into hospital for observation, and his condition has spiralled well out of control. All that Michael says, is that he is 'giving up on life.' I am not at that point yet, so I am going to think about myself. After trying to move heaven and earth to help my husband, I now realise that I cannot fix things.
Our car is being taken away tomorrow because Michael thinks that he has committed a crime and he will be arrested. All that happened, was that he scraped against a bollard in a car park. 24/7 I am bombarded with 'the accident' plus 'the arrest.' I am now thinking about myself and have decided to follow though with a divorce as my life is still worth something. After fighting so hard to get help for Michael, and now it has been arranged for him to go into hospital, he will not go. You can only fix yourself. As I am typing this out, someone is on their way out to take away our car. It is heart breaking.
Oh gosh 01776.....its a terrible time for you and my heart hurts for you,of course your life is worth something,and you must think more about yourself,and thats not being selfish,its being absolutely determined to better your life,at the end of the day we are all on our own,and no one knows our thoughts.
I wish you joy and happiness on your journey,there will be hiccups,but i feel you are strong enough to follow through.
Dont be cruel to yourself,we all have highs and lows,especially at the present time,and very much like you i wont put my heating on just yet,but then again i rarely feel cold.
Hi there. Sorry you are having a hard time, but you are certainly not alone. The last 3 years have been horrendous. I have always suffered with extreme anxiety and worry and have had chronic illnesses for the last 40 years. All things you can't see so no one thinks anything is wrong with me, including my family. Now DH is barely mobile after a knee operation (unsuccessful so won't have other one done), a fall breaking his foot, all resulting in him being barely mobile. Pus he has dementia. After supporting him through all this and my health deteriorating through the stress of it all, I have now got a further problem of skin cancer and him constantly badgering me with questions about what will happen to him if I have to go in hospital, or even worse die. My daughters have their own problems and tend to distance themselves from our, and I try not to involve them, but it is hard, very hard and things are difficult as I am getting depressed and me and DH are rowing almost constantly. I have no other close family or friends close enough to confide in or ask for support, so don't beat yourself up about the day to day stuff. In the grand scheme of things I have learnt it doesn't really matter whether you decorate this year or next!
oh gosh ...you have and are going through a lot and my thoughts are with you at this testing time,its a very difficult life now and very hard to find anyone to confide in,and quite honestly most people dont want to know as they have their own problems. I have no family to call on,and i'm not sure family are always supportive anyway. Keep well.
I feel for you secrets 22 and you are definitely right about family. Having said that they also have there own problems, so life is not easy for anyone at the moment. Take care and stay safe.
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