My job went to working from home when everything started. It was supposed to be temporary. I had previously had the option of working from home, but knowing my emotional health I had always preferred the office. I am less productive from home. I get depressed and tend to start taking naps during the day and justifying it by working longer odd hours at night. I may work more hours than needed, but they are less productive. None of this is conducive to a healthy lifestyle as routine disintegrates quickly. They announced about a month ago that they would be closing my location and I would be working from home permanently. I've been trying to digest this...
Work from home, school from home (going back to college), church from home... and my boyfriend is unable to visit as he cares for an elderly parent. My relationship with him was strained before isolation... and if we were in a normal world ... I would probably down grade the relationship to just friends, but I am afraid of being alone. He is my primary confidant and the only person I talk to on a regular basis... thought that has reduced in frequency.
As a social introvert I need people... my daughter returns to school next week and I will be left with just myself and my cats until the winter holidays. I am already feeling the effects of depression returning... my attempts at maintaining a routine are failing. I am tired of being alone.
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ArtCatsGreenBlue
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Hi ArtCatsGreenBlue, I feel for you. Not everyone is suited to working from home. For so many people work is a goodly proportion of their social life, and contact with other people is vital. I'd say it was quite common to lose focus and not work so well from home, too. It may be tempting initially for firms to have staff work from home, but I think that what you describe as happening to you, will become a big problem to cope with in future.
It's extra hard when you find it difficult to make friends. The only real answer is to motivate yourself to go out and be with others, when you aren't constrained by work. The sad fact is that no-one will come looking for you, and yet so many people feel as you do.
Is there anything outside of work that you think you might have an interest in? Something you might enjoy doing in a group situation, like an art or swimming class, for example. Because that's emulating the work situation where you meet with others to do something you all have in common.
I know that even social activities are curtailed at the moment, but maybe this is the time to consider what you might enjoy doing as a new hobby, because it is now becoming easier to go out and do things.
But even if you do something solitary, but outside the home, it can be helpful in meeting people, like taking your camera out and taking pictures, or going to a lunch club. So many things, but I do know that it also requires that courageous leap of faith to go once, and to tough it out until you feel comfortable enough to strike up some conversations. Try all avenues for things to do, like your nearest library notice board, for example. Churches often have coffee mornings in more normal times and that's a great place to meet others, especially if you volunteer to make the tea or do the washing up. It's surprising that, when you do make the first move, all sorts of people who feel just as unsure and isolated as you do, will be happy to talk with you, and it can also lead to meeting for other social occasions too!
The very worst thing you can do is to accept that being at home alone is your fate. Fight it, and I'm sure that you can make some friends in other ways. Wishing you all the best! 🙏
Hope you do not mind me replying - as an employer of many people who work from home. I cannot see any employer changing from work from home to people meeting in an office etc simply because they prefer to meet the rest of the staff face to face. You will also find that there are so many people looking for work they will never be short of staff, and so many are willing that they can cut the wages down to less. There is also the fact that with some businesses, such as mine, the staff are all over the World, individuals, there would be no office for them to go to. There would be no point to one at all. Even if the office was given free of charge for their benefit. It would offer no pros and many cons.
You are right about how you must fight being solitary and alone - and you need something to keep that hope going. It may be that every friday morning your hope rises and keeps going because that is the one time you can get out.
What sicken s me is when so many tell people who are solitary or lonely how to fill their time - go and work for a charity etc - no thought to how that may well be totally unsuitable for them, at best only making them busier, very often totally impractical or they are too busy. I had a client the other day who was in tears because people had suggested this to her. She was longing to be appreciated for herself, to be loved for her, not for the things she did for others. That was the last thing she needed. It would have made her feel worse.
Oh dear I do feel sorry to read this, so much to cope with, but similar to my own. My guy and I moved in together in March but I struggled because he has aspergers syndrome. Before it was easier to deal with it because it was in the evenings or weekends and I had a break from it during other evenings and weekdays but now it was 24 7 and he got more and more controlling and interfering with what I was thinking and doing. It is very strained and it may end. But he is actually a very good guy, not got a nasty bone in his body. He would give a thief the shirt off of his back, no second thought, he often puts other people before himself when they do not deserve it.
Also, my little dog Strawberry was diagnosed with lymphoma, this knocked me for six, she is my constant companion and has been for twelve years, sleeps cuddled up in bed with me, the lot. Follows me everywhere. If I am in the other room she cries. I chose to give her chemotherapy and this is weekly, plus medication, plus sometimes she is seeming fine and other times awful. I know she will die anyway but wanted to give her a better quality of life and longer life first if I could.
I own and run businesses and have had staff working from home all over the World Jerrry.
But I do not see this coming to an end, once businesses have put into place that their staff work from home, and it works, and its cheaper, there is no point to later changing it back to the previous more expensive way.
Wow, I'm sorry you are dealing with all this alone and crazy changes of life. Don't stay with someone out of fear of being alone, sounds like the relationship is deteriorating anyway. Reach out to other friends and if all you have with a bf is an online relationship, why not look for another that might be better? I pray this craziness of closed down life is fixed soon and we can get back to normal, even a better normal, but not this separatedness in everything. Keep reaching out on her and other support groups and meet with people when you can, use your own reason and wisdom as to what you can do to see people. Take some b complex vitamin or a great multi with extra b in it to energize you and give you focus and magnesium in evenings to calm your mind body and spirit. Also, ginseng is great to get rid of sticky negative thoughts that loop. get out in sun daily at least 30 min without sunscreen to get your vit. D which is a mood enhancer. get barefoot outside to get grounded, and look at sky to see just how big God is. <3 Breathe deep and slow. <3 you got this, it is temporary. <3
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