I am such a negative pessimist. I've tried daily affirmations reading books but I still hate myself and my negativity which many people have told me over the years I've had I've had mindfulness courses yet still stay stuck
I'm stuck : I am such a negative... - Positive Wellbein...
Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation
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I'm stuck
Written by
basten
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34 Replies
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Have you tried a slow style of Tai Chi?😀👍🌈
No but up until march last year did pilates and a swim but bad pain put a stop to it. I must try to walk more it's just hard when living alone I find. !!!
Can you walk around the house? If you have steps in the house, go up and down them a few times during the day. 
Hi basten. Well, one good thing is that you are aware you have a tendency not to look on the bright side of life. Maybe this is just your personality. You might think that people are biased against pessimists but overly optimistic people aren't necessarily liked any better. It's not really about whether you see your glass as half empty or half full. It's about how you are generally as a person. If you are balanced and well rounded in other ways you won't be unlikeable I'm sure. I don't believe that people can really change their core personalities, no matter how hard they try. Perhaps you could just practice once in a while pulling yourself up sharply when you are actually about to say something pessimistic to someone else. Otherwise it really doesn't matter all that much, does it, how you view the world?
basten• in reply to
Yes I do try not to say anything too negative now. My daughter said mum people dont want to hear it but i am me and am a good listener too and always ask people how they're doing etc and take an interest. One old friend said you've always been a grumpy old buggar ha ha
• in reply tobasten
😀😀 There you go then basten. Your friends know you well and I really wouldn't worry about it! 👍
I'm sorry you feel like this basten but good you recognise it. Have you looked at CBT? Just thinking that it may be something in your past that is making you like this.
Take care and hope you find something that works for you.
Alicia 🧘♀️🕉
So sorry to hear that. We get it. Glad you came here to share and connect with others. If there's a critical inner voice in your head, the technique below might help you distance yourself from it.
(1) Take a few deep breaths.
(2) Identify where in your head the critical voice is coming from (left side? behind the forehead? back?)
(3) Use your hand to symbolically pull the voice out of your head and place it on the end of the thumb of the other hand.
(4) Change the voice, so that it's impossible to take seriously ... ridiculously fast and high pitched ... or ridiculously slow ... or sounding like a cartoon character.
(5) Think about how ridiculous the voice is now. Maybe laugh at it.
(6) Destroy the voice. Maybe by flicking it off your thumb or crushing it. Whatever works for you.
Of course, different things work for different people. Good luck as you find the right tools for you. :). Keep us posted. We're rooting for you.
Thankyou. That's something I've never tried. It's been so inspiring to talk to people on here .
Find a creative outlet, sing, cheer yourself up. Watch funny videos online
I find that Tapping or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) sometimes helps. Look at thetappingsolution.com. which was set up by Nick Ortner. There are short intro videos by his sister Jessica, on the basic technique. His book is called The Tapping Solution, but there are many other books, by other people.
Well you've given it a good bash, so the problem has to lie elsewhere!
Much research is coming out now showing a connection between brain and gut. Depression is being treated by improving the gutbiome.
Have a read around.
Tablet form of Probiotics will most likely be long since 'dead' before you take them, as on average it takes two years for them just to reach the shelves!
Live Probiotics are best.
If you are dairy intolerant, you can brew your own water based Probiotic Kefir.
Craft activities of any kind also help, but I would say look into the seriously important brain->gut connection.
Poppy the 🐈
I would go along with that, seriously re-organising diet is a very good way forward I think. Also it can become an interest that will take up some research time, thereby giving basten some time out. Diet is very under-rated, it might even be the cause of mood-darkening because of the processed foods. I wish her well.
Thankyou !!
Need 1500 calorie diet with shopping list please!
Hi basten and its something I often struggle with. I look for something positive in my day or in my condition that I can feel grateful about and I find my mood changes. Someone said that the source of all pain is desire. So I look at what it is I desire and cannot have and there is an awful lot!! Most of the time it works for me and for that I am grateful. Hope ot gets better for you whatever you do.
Many thanks
I feel you. I know the strength of the mind and thinking positive, but yet my mind swoops in to see negative so easily. I want to block all the neg out and only see the positive. Its difficult my friend
Yep sure is. I just cant seem to change . If I have an ache or pain I immediately think the worst. My children tell me about it all the time and say its draining to hear. Laugh for goodness sake!! I cant find anything to laugh about lol . They keep telling me stop putting yourself down which I've always done. I try saying what a wonderful morning and how beautiful everything is. ....but then I'm soon negative again.
yup I put myself down all the time. feel like I should be a lot more accomplished in life.Better job more money, etc. maybe I am who I am supposed to be and where I am supposed to be?
I can understand this, I have been fighting my inner critic for many years. After several different types of therapy, I came to realise that in my case it wasn't my inner voice, it was the voice of someone from my childhood who had put me down all the time. I had internalised this and it had become indistinguishable from my own thoughts. Once I recognised that I was more able to make progress . One great therapy you might look into is Compassionate Mind Therapy which teaches self compassion. I went on a course and found it amazing.
All the best. 🙄🌸
Oh ok yes had it since teens I'll look up what you said thankyou
Just try and accept yourself for who you are. You probably have some really nice parts of your personality that you don’t realise. Accept yourself and everyone else as best you can
Yes I guess I have a caring nature and a good listener !! Thankyoub
At least you know some people are negative and do not know how negative they are a family member of mine is so critical it sometimes really hurts my feelings but they would never know
Hello basten
Being a negative pessimist is also most a contradiction. For others to tell you that you are a pessimist means spending to much time trying to convince others how bad your live is. There is good in everything. Blessings.
Oh ok thankyou !!
Yes, I am stuck also. Negativity. I started fasting today because I am so angry about my weight.
Me too overweight. Good luck
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