The other day my sister took a picture of me standing up and when I looked at it I died inside. I look nothing like I thought. I’ve always known that I was overweight and I hate it but I didn’t hate myself until I saw myself in that picture. I looked awful. Right now I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. I keep seeing these videos on the internet set to the song that goes “look at me now” of people losing tons of weight and being happy. I’m dying to shed off al this weight and be my better self again but as soon as I see food I eat massive amounts of it without even realizing. Give me a bag of chips and I’ll go to town. I just want to lose weight but I keep giving up. I don’t want to hear that I’m being to hard on myself. And before anyone suggests therapy I can’t go my dad doesn’t believe in it.
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Hi PhoenixDragon ,
Have you talked to your doctor about the weight issues? Did they say anything about going on a low carb high protein or low carb high fat diet plan? Did they say anything about counting carbs.?
I don’t go to the doctors anymore. I had a really bad experience when I was a kid and refuse to go anymore unless it’s an emergency.
Hi. I read your post with great interest as I think I have some things in common with you. I have to go to bed right now (I live in the UK,) but I will write to you tomorrow. Are you okay with me sending you a private message?
Take care. 🙄🌸
Feel free😕
I don't believe in diets. The way forward is to educate yourself about food and then make healthy choices. Occasionally eating something we really like so we don't feel we are missing out. I substitute Crisps for red grapes sliced banana etc when watching TV. Grilling meat gets rid of a lot of fat. If you think of yourself on a diet you are doomed to fail. It just becomes a way of life and finding food you do really like but less likely to pile on the weight.
Phoenix Dragon-Just cut down on the carbs and the size of the portions-that is how I manage (although am still o/weight) am managing to keep it static!I have always been big -its all on my thighs and stomach!I do exercise every day on the floor and also walk as much as I can (I am 75)have various ailments but still keep going!
Don't give up- you will find by cutting down on carbs / sugar / that you will slowly lose weight (which is better than fast loss)!
Good Luck- give it a try-tell us how you are getting on-on here!
Best wishes
Ratton726
I have a similar issue where before I fell I'll I was a size 8 bustling around with work and family then I developed this ataxia still of unknown type or origin and my life as I knew it had to stop. Over a period of 5 years I went from an 8 to a 16 and have almost doubled my weight. I dont consume massive amounts of food but i am thirsty 24/7 due to my meds.im hoping that when able i can get back in the swimming pool and try to burn off some body fat
OK . Strangely enough, you are half way there as you have recognised that you need to attack your problem. Life is all about balance. If you want to eat a lot you have to exercise a lot. If you join Weightwatchers or similar you will have support from others who are doing something about your weight. Even if you don't join them have a look at the WW weighing machines and record your weight every day.
Why should I lose weight? Why can't I eat what I want when you want ? Why can't I have a cake or two?
Can you take all the snacky stuff out of your house. Replace cakes with apples, biscuits with celery, chips with beetroot and hummus, fried breakfast with porridge.
Eat only 1 carb with your meals If you have a portion of rice you cant have chips, etc. Load your plate up with veg/salads instead.
Inside your house you have an addictive poison that slowly but surely wrecks your body and builds up life threatening conditions without giving you any notice. It will wreck your life as you get older. It will affect your eyesight, block your arteries, and ruin your mobility. by overloading your knees. and hips. It is called sugar.
You have to press the reset button .
Lose the sugar. It is poison. Lose the cakes and the sweets and the biscuits. Minimise the bread. If you must eat it try wholemeal with a tiny touch of butter. If you want to see what sugar does look on the diabetes.org site.
Fast food is usually deadly so try to avoid it, and to do that you need to have a plan:
What are you going to eat , how much are you going to eat and when. Give up having a sweet after your meal. Don't eat after 7pm, Don't drink fruit juices/coke have a glass of water instead.
Doing all this will deal with the amount of energy you are pouring into your body.
You now have to look at increasing your burning rate. Walking is a good start, or cycling if you wish. Get a diary and keep track of how far and how often. Get a good pair of waterproof walking shoes to support your feet and find a flat path to get you started. If you don't do much at the moment try starting out for just 10 minutes out and ten minutes back, otherwise known as a daily mile. Get a waterproof jacket (can't go out it's raining, etc, I'll have a biscuit instead, etc). Leave the car in the garage and walk if you can.
As you get fitter and lose the flab you can start to really go for it and start doing yoga or zumba. Get a fitbit or similar and start looking at how many steps you take in a day, how many calories you burn , etc
Aim to lose just 1 llb or 500 gms a week for two months and then review your plan for the next month. In my experience it takes about 6 weeks before weight starts to shift. Good luck with your plan . When the going gets tough, the tough get going and so can you..
Thank you. That was very encouraging.
Okay PhoenixDragon I will tell you what I did.
I gave up smoking 7 years ago and put on 4 and a half stone. Like you I wasn't happy and hated getting my photo taken.
In May 2018 I started 30 minutes of brisk walking every day twice a day and I mean brisk . Then in October that same year I started c25k. A great plan and also another forum on here with lots of support.
All the weight is gone , I feel better physically and mentally.
Just recently I ran my first half marathon distance .
You can cut back on the amount of food you eat , you've just got to try really hard.
So I wont tell you you're being too hard on yourself. If like me you're that unhappy there are steps you can take to do something about it.
I'm not being harsh or hypocritical I've been there so I'm being honest .
Good luck 😊😊
Thank you so much for sharing.
Hi PhoenixDragon,
I feel for you as I've been in this situation many times in my life. It's very real. I don't see why you'd need therapy, or to be told to be kind to yourself.
That's because the truth lies in between. If you don't like the way you look, you only have two choices. One is to continue to loathe yourself, or the other is to make a firm decision to do something about it. You can't shortcut the actual cutting down of the quantity or type of foods which are making you fat. You actually have to find the mindset that will allow you to do something about it.
On the other hand, I would point out that your looks, of any kind, are fleeting in the course of life. For many years I fought off weight, only to find myself now, old and wrinkled, with thin baby-fine hair and not much of it, as well as back to being overweight. The weight I could deal with if I wanted to, but when I look in the mirror I now see an old lady, whether I like that or not. And that goes for everyone in life who is disfigured in some way too. For some there is no way out, except self acceptance.
You have to decide what's most important to you, and if it's being thinner, then throw out some of those damaging foods forever, or take a long look again in the mirror and say 'this is me and I'm sticking with what's me'.
Whichever you decide, I wish you the very best of luck. It's not easy to change, but it's not impossible. 🙏🌈
Thank you! This was very helpful and beautifully put.
I know just how you feel I have put on weight during lockdown which I really didn't want to do, as my weigh has been going up for the last few years,I 've tried almost every diet, but my will power is rubbish. I canot order food online and not order my sweet treats. If I didnt have them I would have nothing, my only contact with the outside world is my son who calls me Monday-Friday. I try to do exercise from You Tube put am liminted due to my breathing. Just remeber your not alone, good luck.
Thank you.
oh dear poor you. Make today the day you make a change. If I were you I’d overhaul your diet and cut out carbs Until you’ve lost weight. How much weight would you need to lose before you get to a good weight for your height? Ali 🙂
Right now I’m 5’4 and 200+ so I’d like to go down to 145
Join the club 😋
Have you thought about downloading an app like MyNetDiary? You log everything that you eat and it keeps a running total of the calories you are eating. You can also log your exercise to give you more calories. It will encourage you to control your portions, exercise and appreciate if you have a treat you will need to cut down on something else. I hope you find something that works for you. X
I will definitely try it
Try eating meat fish and vegetables, you will lose weight and not feel hungry.
I agree I’m on that at moment, best diet I have tried to get rid if about 1-2 pound a week, seems slow but 6-8 weeks about half a Stone
Thank you for the reassurance.
You can join on line, trust me you eats loads and so so easy, but men do go to meetings as well if you want Togo in person, good luck
Dear PhoenixDragon,
Speaking from personal experience, "diets" didn't work for me. Here is what does work:
Of course, eating heathier foods helps, but the secret is:
When I am eating a meal, I stop the very instant I feal the slightest bit of being full. Then I wait for 10 minutes. If I'm still hungry, I don't hesitate to eat little more. Then repeat this all again.
I try to never eat the *last* bite of a meal or sandwich.
Also, having some sort of munching snacks is good. Something that doesn't taste TOO good works well for me.
This simple process works extremely well for me.
Best wishes and please NEVER give up...
How about putting your dinner on a smaller plate to eat, Think most of us eat too much , including myself. Have found as the years go by you do put on weight. It’s hard , but hope this will help you . Take care.
I was exactly the same when I saw pictures from my 50th birthday party it was like my mum looking back at me and much as I loved my mum didn't want to be her.
You've made a great start by coming on here and owning up to it, now you need to do something about it and if you really want to you will. Try printing that pic out and blowing it up put it on fridge or biscuit barrel, goodies cupboard or all and that will remind you you don't want to be that person.
Start by gradually cutting down on the snacks, then look at portion sizes then when you think you can start the 12 week nhs plan or if you think can manage it start straight away. Don't expect miracles it didn't come on overnight and won't go over night either. 2 to 3lb a week will get you there and keep you there rather than crash dieting good luck and joining in a weigh day will help if haven't already, it's Wednesday wobble warriors weigh in today so pop on there
During this challenging time we are all gaining a few pounds. I was actually trying to keep my wait up before this Corona virus reared it's ugly head.. Now I am trying to lose 5 lbs excess that is causing my knock knee's to cause some discomfort in my thighs. So I can never allow more than 5 lbs from my target weight without some discomfort. I just started adding heavier weight training to my work outs. I am not as motivated to workout during this unprecedented rime in history, even though I have an extra bedroom I turned into an exercise room. I have the mirrors, a padded floor. I have a weight bench, tread mill, stepper, exercise balls., and other exercise equipment. I have no excuse. I am going to go and work out now. I read, and live by a book called Blood type diet, by Joseph Christiano. Buy the book that corresponds to your blood type. If you eat by this book you will lose weight, even if you don't work out. So imagine what you will lose if you add some exercise. We have been conditioned to eat emotionally. Every time you think about eating something that is not good for your health, or over eating, do 5 minutes of touch your toes waist, and lastly touch the sky. To make it more difficult you can add any size bottled water. I hope this helps.
I definitely willl
First off, most people are critical of their own photos (and recording voices). Yes, even the most beautiful people on earth. We see ourselves differently from how other people see us. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So I wouldn't worry too much about it. For the photo problem, just learn to love yourself. Be kind and see yourself in a different light. If you can't, just don't look for the time being. Take better pictures when you are ready to think happy thoughts. There are some tutorials on YouTube by photographers.
As for losing weight, if you really want to change, everything else would be easy once you are determined. Don't look for complicated answers, Once you have made your decision, don't make excuses, just get on with it. Never follow the same advice from people who have yo-yo weight history (otherwise doomed to fail again).
I have managed to maintain a similar weight throughout my life. It's easy I don't buy what I don't need (clear your cupboard, throw out the junk). My best record was to help someone to lose 5 stones (he didn't even follow my advice exactly). I have experimented with certain foods myself. I find that the quickest way to get fat is eating chocolates every day. I was able to put on one stone a month by eating chocolates every day. Crisps are weight gainer too.
The secret of weight loss is understanding accumulation and SUBSTITUTION. Understand that if only you gain/ lose just ONE pound a month, 14 months later you would be a stone heavier/ lighter. Set your target to lose one pound a week, don't feel bad as long as it's heading in the right direction.
SUBSTITUTION is the key: you already know what types of food you shouldn't be eating.
Once you have found the key, you just won't go back. These days, I wouldn't be able to eat crisps (find them too salty) and cakes (too sweet). Fizzies ... Processed meat no way. Healthy foods are much more delicious! After I've brushed my teeth, that's it I don't want to eat anymore. We are just being conditioned to believe that junk is yummy. It's not. You just need to change your mindset.
Anyway, don't give up. Where there's a will there's a way. Let us know how you get on. Good luck !!!
Well you have made your first step you are not happy you want to loose weight you just have to keep in mind those thoughts and every time you see a bag of chips remember that picture
I’m trying but it’s so hard. And it’s not like I have any support at home.
Ahhh , slowdown and sit down,
I’m hoping that you can have a good think and then write down a few positives that will change your mindset 😊
And then make a plan to get a bit fitter, slow and steady wins the race ! Buy a pedometer and count your daily steps, out walking and going about your home. . Right, then seek advice and support from doc/ nurse and get started.
Getting support will help but I’m hoping that you can grab the day and get started 😊💕🌈
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I'm not back just saying a quick 'Hello and a couple of 'Thank yous'
Hate crimes 
A bit down
I have often debated is it better to be alone or with the wrong company