I often write on here as many are supportive and understanding
Since the loss of my Father two years ago I seemed to have an aim but I lose to motivation to persevere
I am turning fifty one in August and still trying to attain a Diploma in Wills and Probate and a years experience
Twenty years ago I had obtained a Degree in French,German and Politics plus Post Graduate Law
Twenty years on, I am still trying but I am overwhelmed with lack of self confidence and belief I will see light at the end of the tunnel
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Roukaya
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6 Replies
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Hi Roukaya,
This morning whilst flipping through motivational quotes, I chanced upon this one from American football coach, Lou Holtz. So I thought of it again when I read your post.
"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you can do. Attitude determines how well you do it".
I think that after 20 years of trying, you can definitely say you've been persistent in attempting to reach your goal. It may have waxed and waned over the years according to how self confident you were feeling at the time, but you have stuck with the idea of getting to your goal.
So it must be really important to you. For other people I might be tempted to say, "well, if you haven't made it after all this time, why are you beating yourself up trying to get so somewhere you aren't going to reach?"
But in your case it's motivated a huge part of your life. I think you just have to decide what's really holding you back from your goal. Work on that and if it's lack of self confidence then you will have to find it to get where you are going, before you can succeed. Otherwise you may be wasting your own precious life on a futile goal.
What would make your father happiest if he were here? Your succeeding, I'd say. So why do you need him here with you in order to succeed? If you just say that you are doing it in his name to make him proud of you, it's still honouring him and his memory!
Morning Roukaya, when we want something really so much, sometimes the motivation will be there naturally. If you want to pursue this line, motivation will be important to carry it through. I also think you are never to old to change direction. Other options will always be available. If you are determined and you feel it is your self confidence letting you down to achieve this goal, then you know this is what you must work on first to take you to the next step. It is all about taking steps to reach your goals in life. Once you have resolved this issue, you will then move a step further towards the goal you want to achieve. Have you tried making a list of steps you can take and work on that will make you realise your dream. Have a really good think and jot some ideas down and then, you can start working on them. It will be a start. Have you been running your car. Have a pleasant day. 😊🌼
I agree the motivation should be there automatically and given the the fact I keep trying sad see no answers is what is contributing to the lack of motivation
I think I need to work in my self confidence and belief of why I would like to pursue this end goal
To have confidence and self belief in the end goal is essential to taking the steps necessary to make this a reality
My problem is that I can talk the talk but I come across as a child with a childish voice and someone who is lacking in belief in herself
I may be lonely but I made the decision to be by myself rather then those who have previously dominated me or in the course of friendship say hurtful remarks
It is up to me to make the life I would like to have
I expect it is my anxiety and lack of confidence that derail my ability to believe in myself
If I remember your posts correctly you have had a rough time of it of late. I’m not just meaning the lockdown, but I am referring to your father’s illness and the dementia which came later, and then sadly, his passing. Events like this are stressful, even though we sometimes do not recognise it at the time.
Also, no matter how old we are we grieve when a parent dies. It can feel as if your safety net has been pulled.
You are making progress towards your goal. You have had a time of reflection and are now beginning to reach out. This is all part of the healing process. Your motivation and confidence will return, but this will be so gradual you probably will not notice it happen.
Once this terrible virus has left us, you will be able to resume a more normal life. You will be able to get back to your volunteer work and it is through doing things like that, that your confidence will grow.
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