I struggle really badly with autism, depression and anxiety, as well as obsessive compulsive disorder. I have been really struggling with the change of normal life as we know it.
I was told that keeping to a routine is essential. What should that look like / consist of?
I feel really guilty because I've been getting out of bed around 1pm, been binge eating in bed to deal with how I'm feeling and anxiety.
I have no support. I am by myself, too scared to go out to the shops to get food. Mental health team can't see me and I normally rely on family, but they are in lockdown thirty minutes away at their home as well.
Sorry, there's quite a lot all linked in here. I don't know what should a good routine consist of? Should I be getting out of bed at 6am, springing up, having a healthy breakfast and having fruit and jogging etc. I am just feeling pressured with Instagram posts etc. portraying the 'perfect' daily exercise, or food etc.
I really don't want to do my obsessive compulsions. I can't because it involves going to car wash and filling my tank full of petrol up and I can't do that at the moment because it's not an 'essential journey'.
I feel gross about getting up late, eating sweets etc. I have no confidence and am struggling to basically do everyday things, and am feeling guilty, but all my support has gone and having autism amongst my other medical conditions is difficult.
Does anyone have any advise on routines, what they should be, am I gross for eating in bed in the early hours and am I a bad person and do I need to do my obsessive compulsions? (I really don't want to).
Thanks all.
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Thank you. It was useful, but because of my autism, I don't understand what routine etc. I should do, but thank you!
Hi OnlyAlex22,
You've had a great reply from lupus-support so I can't add much to that, and just wanted to say "hi", and also that if time is hanging heavily on you, please feel welcome at this Positive Wellbeing community, where we'll aim to cheer you up. There's an amazing array of ideas here from poetry to crafts, to just having an online chat with other members.
I know it's a very challenging time, but try in as many safe ways as you can to stay in touch with other people.
Wishing you well and please stay safe.
in reply to
Hi, thank you so much for replying. That means a lot.
You are neither gross nor bad - you are a fallible human being, just like the rest of us. I can imagine this situation is particularly difficult for you because of your conditions and also because you are on your own.
I’d stay away from what you’re reading on instagram if it makes you feel bad. Trying to aspire to perfection sets us all up for failure - and who wants to be perfect anyway? I know I don’t!
There is no such thing as a perfect routine and I don’t think anyone can proscribe what is correct for any other individual. I would suggest finding what feels right for you. Do what you can manage and Gives you a feeling of achievement. How about planning something pleasant for the following morning that will make you want to get up? Maybe you can set out an outfit to wear the next morning? What do you fancy for breakfast tomorrow. Cereal? Toast? A grapefruit? Could you find a way to the shops that would make you feel safe? I know the thought is scary but the shops I have been to are now taking big precautions and you may feel pleasantly reassured.
Please don’t feel guilty. Guilt and worry do us no favours at all. Instead, feel pleased with yourself for being brave enough to write your post and join our community. And do please stay. I look forward to hearing how you’re doing.
What time feels right for you? How about choosing a regular bedtime you’re likely to stick to then setting an alarm for eight hours later? So if you choose ten thirty for bedtime set an alarm for six thirty.
What other things do you like to do - that are still possible given current restrictions? Maybe you could write a simple daily plan that fits around meal times and put in a couple of pleasurable activities as well as necessary household chores. Allow yourself some flexibility and please don’t allow yourself to feel anxious if you can’t always keep to your plan. The point of having a routine in these difficult times is to give us a feeling of order because our lives have been thrown of balance and life feels very different at the moment.
So my suggestion would be - write a list of the things that make you feel happy, comfortable and satisfied - including food. Then add the necessary tasks such as preparing food, washing up, laundry etc. Then fit them into your daily plan and experiment. Be realistic about what you can achieve - don’t set yourself impossible goals start gently and see how it goes. Do what feels right for you and feel pleased with yourself for the efforts you’re making.
Thank you. I am on night time medication which sedates me, so I think that might be why I struggle.
A plan sounds good, I have printed off a meal plan too today. Yes, thank you for explaining why everyone is sticking to a routine - that helps me a lot to understand.
Hi ,I gave diff health probs to you,but can relate to comfort eating, adjusting to restrictions.Thanks for sharing how you feel ,and want to know how to get your self a routine your happier with.Ive decided I need to get a better routine,by sleeping as well as possible,eat healthily,drink plenty tea)coffee,water.Start my own home exercises again,with bouts of 10 min exercise.It will take days,weeks of trying to do these things well,but it will make a difference,trying to make the best of things despite my health .Give yourself a hug,good luck and thanks again.,do exercises as fun,don't get carried away now!
Hi, Alex22! I sympathize with your feelings. I am home bound because of the virus and our governor's orders to stay home except for "essential" trips. I have not been out since 15 March and at first felt very jittery not doing normal things. Then I decided to work at a rather nasty task in my garden--some vines had attached themselves to the wooden railings on my deck. It took a lot of energy pulling and tugging on them, and I felt better afterward. I learned a lesson from this experience: do rigorous work to allay anxiety. It worked for me and I hope this idea helps you.
You never need to do your compulsions. The less you do them, the less power they will have over you. So rejoice that this is a good opportunity to stop them. Every day you don't do them will make it easier not to do them the next day, and so on. You can be free of that problem! See this can be one of the good things to come out of lockdown!
You are doing well - Keep going!
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