How should I Feel? : Even thought now I... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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How should I Feel?

Epicjinx profile image
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Even thought now I have alot of problems with my body following my OD. One guy still has alot of interests in me regardless, I'm in pain or hunger alot but he tries to help. Despite drying up everyehere including my privates he doesn't mind no sex. I'm quite annoyed and still not over this. I did enjoy that and now it's gone. But he hasn't left my side visited me in hospital sometimes I regret not going sooner for less issues. But I'm unsure of a relationship despite this...?? Any advice? I mean I'm already unsure of any job or university as I'm basically in pain alot. It sucks. Still trying to cope but not going well I think... ??

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Epicjinx
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20Voices

Hi, he sounds like he's going to be a good friend.

Don't rush you have a lot to think about and you need to focus on your health. I'd say go slow and just enjoy his friendship.

I've been having "men" issues for the past couple of years so I am not an expert and pretty guarded about myself. I'd suggest taking it slow with your friend and concentrate on you. I'd also suggest that if he starts asking for money or things that you be careful. Also make sure you are doing things with other friends and your family and that you are not becoming to reliant on him. (Sorry my mind is very pessimistic when it comes to new relationships at the moment. I am working to get back to "the glass half full" approach to life that I used to have. and not "the glass half empty" approach I have at the moment.)

There are ways to build up your self confidence which you can look into.

I'd also suggest that you speak to a professional to help you out with all that is going on. My NHS authority has courses that I have done to help me out and I did see a psychologist for a while who really helped with my self-confidence. I just can't afford to see her right now as I am not working and the wait list for appointments with the NHS psychologist is quite long.

I am currently waiting on an appointment with a local mental health charity to see one of their experts, but that is a long waiting list as well.

One thing I do every day is a 6 phases meditation. It covers Compassion, Gratitude, Forgiveness, Visualizing, Daily intention and Blessing. So for me I find it covers everything I need to do on a daily basis. What I like about the 6 Phase meditation is that you are invited to thin in each section about yourself as well as others and I find it hard to forgive myself and praise myself for something that has been done well.

Take it one day at a time and it may help you to think of what you want for your future. Have a plan or vision gives you something to work towards and having a purpose will really help you.

I have really good friends that have disabilities both physical and mental. I just see them as people and not there problems. I had given one of them a bit of advise, which just came out in a conversation that we were having and I now use that advise for myself now. It is you can only perform to a level that is dependent on how you feel that day. For example, if you have an issue that drastically affects your walking you can't expect to walk for miles if you wake up in the morning and need help to get out of bed. You can however still set goals and have various goals set for how you are feeling that day. So id you feel wonderful you go for your long walk. If you are barely able to move you may have a list of exercises to do to ease your muscles/joints or you might want to do some relaxation exercises on those days. Whatever works for you, just have a plan so that you still have a focus for the day. I have various plans in place so that I can take stock during the day and adjust my goals depending on what has happened and how I feel.

In the evening before I go to sleep I fill in my journal entry for the day. It is just a list of what I am grateful for and what I am looking forward to the next day or a note of something that I want to look into in the future.

I can only give you advise based on what I do and my experience, so I hope this helps you.

Take care.

Just take your time be yourself and see what happens I think that's all you can do x

Epicjinx profile image
Epicjinx in reply to

Yep i agree there :)

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