Postnatal Depression help

[TA28]

Hi,

We were blessed with a beautiful daughter 4 weeks ago and over the past few weeks my wife has been getting extremely frustrated, angry, negative and sad about everything and there is very little I can do. I am currently back at work and do as much as I can around the house i.e. sorting food as much as I can, cleaning changing nappies as much as I can.

I have spoken to her about arranging n appointment with the Health Visitor and possibly speaking with someone that can offer advise, but she is adamant that if they can let her sleep or feed her there is nothing they can support. At the moment we are exclusively breastfeeding and as much as we would like to continue the likelihood of having to express or formula is becoming closer.

Is there anything I can do that can maybe help? We try to go for walks and get out on the weekend and as much as the weather permits. HELP!!

[rocky77]

Welcome! I'm so sorry your wife is struggling. Having a new born to care for can be extremely tiring. lack of sleep can cause irritability, frustration however, if these feelings are persisting, increasing and this can include perpetually feeling tired , however it can also be a sign of PNI. If it is the sooner it can be caught and treated the better.

You really sound like a marvellous supportive husband who is doing all the right things by helping out, getting your wife out of the house and talking to get / that does make a difference.

It really is worth getting a professional diagnosis and help. There really is no shame in having PNI although your wife may not see it this way. 20% of women are thought to get it / that's a lot. Often hormones are to blame .

Perhaps st s baby weigh in mention your wife feels tired and take it from there or Call The hv before hand and have a quick word so she can instigate some questions . Again you'll have to weigh up how your wife may react if she finds out about this but sometimes getting the health visitor to generally ask how she's getting on with you there might lead to her honestly saying how she is.

Regarding help, hv can give listening visits, offer support . If the feeding is draining your wife perhaps mixed feeding with formula may be an option, or moving onto formula alone. Your wife may feel like a failure doing this but whilst breast may well be best for baby formula is a pretty good second and if it means mum's mental health improves it may be worth it. Your wife has given baby a fantastic 4 weeks of breast milk which counts for a lot.

If she feels very tired getting blood test s undertaken is a good idea. Being anaemic can be very draining also thyroid issues can lead to these symptoms.

If PNI is diagnosed Hv/GP may advise antidepressants - there are pros and cons to this but they can make a huge positive difference. I'm happy to share my thoughts and experience of meds although I'm not a health care practitioner just a mum who's been through PNI.

There is so much pressure to be the perfect parent and to take to parenthood like a duck to water but the reality is it can be really hard work. No matter how good baby is life changes and revolves 24/7 around baby which can be draining tiring and quite monotonous- there is nothing wrong with saying that! Coupled with hormones it can be a very difficult time for all the family .

Please do keep talking x