Doctor says no

[nikkilarsen]

Hi. I'm new to this but felt like I need something like this to open up.

I'm 27 years old i have 2 children one is 5 an one is 11months. With my first child I didn't experience any problems but

With my second I had a horrendous pregnancy.. High bloody pressure found out I had low b12 .. I then found out I had diabities. I done a depressing quiz about 6 months pregnant an I scored high. I went to see the doctor an she said she was happy with it just being hormones. After I had the baby I felt the same I cried alot, I got angry over small things I resented my partner getting to go to work. At that point I went to see the doctor this was about 2 months ago an he told me he doesn't think it's depression just some wrong choices.

2 months later. Here I am a mess I get scared i get angry I lose my breath with how angry I am sometimes. I cry every day. I don't want to be close to my partner. I just feel completly done in.

I have booked an appointment with a different doctor because my partner feels the doctor hasnt given me the right advice. But with the way doctors are atm my appointment isn't until the 8th sept.

I feel at the end of giving a dam an wanting to hide away.

I hope somebody reads all this. Because it will probably make me cry if a stranger doesn't reply lol.

Thanks for listening

[rocky77]

Hello and welcome

I completely agree with your partner that your dr is not supporting you properly by not taking your symptoms seriously - I'm glad you're seeing another one. Could you or your partner call the surgery and say you're quite desperate to see someone? Many have a triage dr who can assess you.

Your symptoms certainly sound like pni and this all started when you were pregnant. On the plus side you will recover so do have hope. Your doctor can arrange counselling or other talking therapies and/or prescribe antidepressants. It is of course you choice entirely whether to take them but they can help hugely. Often it's worth getting blood tests done as thyroid issues can also cause depression.

Perhaps you could also try things like exercise as they release endorphins, the feel good chemicals. maybe try and get some time for yourself into your schedule. I know this isn't easy with a baby but it can help you recharge your batteries. Parenthood can be tiring and draining and you can often feel you've lost the person you once were.

Have you spoken to friends or family? Confiding in someone can also help - honestly you're not alone in how you feel.

I'm pleased you've opened up - it isn't easy even online but it's really a positive step forward. Feel free to look up 'our forum' on pni.org.uk for more support.

Monica

[nikkilarsen in reply to rocky77]

Monica, Thank you so much for replying. I have spoken to my friend who did suffer pnd a few years back an my partner. But I feel like I got shot down with the doctor advice 2 months ago.

I think I should ring the doctor again Monday as even a week I feel I could get worse.

The thing that gets to me the most is I take it out on my partner. He is so caring an supportive but I blame him for everything even things like changing the baby's nappy. I'm like a ticking time bomb an he must feel he's walking on egg shells.

Does anybody recommend anti depressants if I did decide to take them are they easy to stop or am I on them for life? Tablets scare me as I don't want to feel I need them.

Thanks for replying I appreciate it so much xx

[rocky77 in reply to nikkilarsen]

Antids have pros and cons(I'm not medically qualified but generally thru experience this is what I found

Pros- can speed up recovery hugely - it can give u that lift to help urself

Cons- u can feel worse for a few weeks whilst meds kick in, it's recommended that you take them for at least 6 mths after you feel better ( my dr recommended a year), the first meds you take night not agree with u., they can have side effects.

I know the cons sound longer but they were the turning point for me. Talk to your partner and Dr.

You mentioned u were taking things out on ur partner. This happens a lot . Could you talk to him about it? X

[nikkilarsen in reply to rocky77]

Today I think is probably the first time I've said to him that I feel I am taking things out on him for no reason. He feels he is at fault for making me this way an that made me think I was being selfish an out of order.

I'm not sure if that is a turning point a realisation or just something I can now use as an excuse. It's so hard to explain when I am in the heat off feeling so angry or upset I don't feel that way I don't feel like I can be understanding towards his feelings. I feel it is so hard to see his point ,his feelings. And all he is doing is trying to help me.

I just want to feel like me again I'm a caring person I know I am but this angrier an aggressive side seems to keep showing it's ugly head an I just want it to stop.

I'm sorry if that makes no sense I am trying to just let how i feel out an try to make sense of it

[rocky77]

It does make sense - pni can distort your feelings about everything ! Feelings towards ur partner can change, irrational irritability - but this honestly is pni. It's really pisitive ur communicating though. I'm sure once u get support from Dr these kind of feelings will gox

[rocky77]

Hi ]

I was just wondering how you're doing?