Dear friends. You may remember my recent post telling you about the death of my darling daughter plus three surgeries in the works. Ptosis surgery is OKd and waiting for a date, hip referral has been made and waiting for an appointment, back surgery is scheduled for February 23. Terrible pain plus heart wrenching grief.
But that wasn’t enough. We were flooded on Sunday along with many others. The whole of our ground floor covered in water and now mud. We have lovely neighbours and we are OK. But I just can’t seem to cope. I am shaky, very achy, tearful of course, worried about all the work that I can’t do. Putting on a brave face. I am normally strong in a crisis.
I think I will have to increase my pred, very reluctantly because I had Avascular Necrosis. I am on 9 mg after 9 years and two severe flares. What do you suggest I take and for how long? Thank you so much for your help. I could look it up from your excellent notes but it’s beyond me at the moment.
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Nightingales
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So sorry to hear that - flooding is such a foul weather effect, because it isn't just water, it is mud and a lot of unmentionable stuff as well.
I'd suggest either using the Sick Day Rules - where you double your current dose for the duration of the stress, up to a maximum of 20mg. You would take 18mg. Or start with the flare protocol, add 5mg where you are now for up to a max of 2 weeks, so take 14mg. That would mean a bit less pred as you would just take it until the main stress is over, and if it is enough, that is a positive.
Are you insured for flood? Is so, make sure you contact the assessors soon, emphasise how unwell you are, and that you need assistance. When my daughter's flat had black water damage (a rat chewed the plastic toilet drainpipe), they were moved out while the work was done.
Thank you. Very helpful. Insurance has already visited and asked if we want to move but I think once we get dehumidifiers in and carpet up we will be OK. Just the thought of packing and moving out is to much. Thanks again. I will try the flare protocol and take another 5 right now.
I was flooded in 2019 whilst coping with PMR and OA. I could not have lived upstairs with dehumidifiers on 24/7 for two weeks and we didn’t have any mud just sewage from the drains. I packed our bags and moved to a hotel till the insurance sorted a rental property. The stress of that was enough and I didn’t have anything like your coping with. Stuff is replaceable. Hard to accept but a necessary evil. The insurance paid to get everything sorted I just had to tell them what I needed. I spent most of the 6 months resting avoiding flares at 10 mg. Away from my own bed and comfort zone. A lot of people lived upstairs once the electricity and gas was reinstated. The smell and dust and rebuilding was awful. Especially when the replastering began where the water had risen to. I wouldn’t stay it’s horrible watching the workmen and noise of machinery. Look after you. The material things rebuilding after a flood you can do slowly. All the best with what you choose to do. I do hope you feel better soon. My thoughts are with you.
Sorry you had to go through that. It’s an option for me. fortunately it’s floors only and not the walls or furniture. Thank you for your kind thoughts and advice.
My daughter treated it like a holiday!! It wasn't too far away and she had to feed the cats so fetched as required. Speaking of holiday - someone I know ended up in a beautiful holiday cottage somewhere lovely - so it is worth considering. As Estellemac says, dehumidifiers are a constant background noise and you don't know what it is like living in a building site if you haven't done it. I have more than once and believe me, it is no fun, And I was acting coordinator for the workmen as well as young and fit. As for plaster dust - took me nearly 2 years to fully get it out of the rest of the house!!!!! Do think about it.
So very sorry that you are going through so much. This is the first time I have commented on this group but I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and sending you so much strength. I have had pmr for 5 years but am just learning , so not much help with any info, but this group is the best thing I have found! Donna in Canada 🇨🇦
Thank you. You are right this is the best group and I trust the info here more than any other source. And now you can see how wonderfully caring it is.
Deeply sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter xx 💔💔 With your grief, illnesses and now flooding you must be so stressed…. Cannot help, but take each day at a time and be kind to yourself… good luck with everything x
I’m so sorry to hear this 🥲No wonder you feel so shaky, I’m not sure I’d cope as well as you are . Glad you’ll take extra pred short term and can only send you hugs and best wishes. Take care, you’ll get there 🤗🤗xx
Thanks so much for your kind words. I am not really coping. In fact I had a big breakdown after I wrote this. The effect of having talked about it and received help and kindness allowed me to express my emotions and give myself an afternoon in bed. I do have a lovely dog who insists on looking after me !
Sometimes breaking down, as you express it, is a necessary part of coping 😊 So glad you had the afternoon in bed, you can’t beat a warm dry bed and a dog! (Or cat, in my case).
We came back from skiing one NY to a flat fence ... Didn't notice it from the house as there were trees and bushes on our side - could only see it driving up the road the other side!!!
Fortunately only two panels out - one by back door was slotted back in by son and neighbour. The other one, by parking space is behind shrubs so I hadn't seen it... of course eagle-eyed son did when he arrived. He couldn't sort it, but it was slotted back in yesterday by local gardening guy [but it does need replacing]. has promised to do it within next 2 weeks as he knows my situation... had to lay it on a bit thick yesterday morning to get him round. So fingers crossed he does..
All concrete posts, so at least whole fence doesn't go in one fell swoop...
Yes. We live on a hill and have always been complacent about floods but this came from the back fields. A national disaster has been declared in our county in England. Hope you find your runaway fence!
I am so sorry to hear about the death of your daughter. What a traumatic time you are having with the recent flooding on top of everything else. As others have said do consider moving out if the insurers will pay for accommodation. My sister had to move out of her home after last year’s storms and it has taken a year to get things sorted (think it was more difficult it being a bungalow, every room ruined). Sending 🤗
How terrible for you, catastrophe on top of grief and sadness. Praying that you will make the right decision and find a little peace and respite amongst the difficulties that you have experienced. 💐xx
Oh you poor soul,as if you haven’t got enough to deal with at the moment.These things are sent to try us and then some……..Glad you have wonderful neighbours to help you,there is a lot of kindness in the world isn’t there ?Please take good care of yourself,you are still mourning,in a lot of pain physically and mentally and hope you have found your answers from the WISE ONES on here,and remember we are all here to help you in your struggles.Please look after yourself,your daughter would be wanting that from you wouldn’t she?Sending you a hug ,xxxx😜
Thank you so much. There certainly are wise ones here and such kindness. You are right , my daughter woukd want me to take care of myself. I am an Angels mummy too x
Dear NightingalesI am so so sorry to read about your dreadful situation. I am joining all the others on this wonderfully supportive group in saying that our heartfelt love is being sent to you in absolute abundance. Take any help and support that is being offered...there is much grace, humanity and kindness out there. On top of PMR, we seem to all be dealing with alot of 'stuff' these days. It really does help that we are not alone. For over three years, my day has started with reading the PMR posts...an absolute reassurance that we are working through the highs & lows of life and PMR together ❤️ Sincere love from Pondweed
Thank you so much Pondweed. I love your name having battled with it for years. To add to our losses we had about 20 beautuful fish, all lost in the flood. I know it’s negligible ion the whole scheme of things but I will miss them jumping in excitement for their feed. Nature to me is so much more important than carpet. Xx
Our pets and nature are a priority in our household...our dog and cat are our babies as we don't have children. I felt weepy reading about your beautiful fish being lost in the flood. You knowing about Pondweed has made me chuckle. I am named Elodia after my grandma from Barcelona. I hope that every day brings more peace and calm to your challenging situation. Love from Pondweed 😃
Nightingales, your post has really touched me. What a dreadful situation and such a lot for you to cope with. It puts most people’s minor day to day niggles into perspective. I have nothing useful to offer other than to just try and deal with things one day at a time. Wishing you all the very best and the strength to cope, which I’m sure you have.
hi Nightingales, I just wanted to say keep going but rest and take it easy whenever it is required. You are going through a lot so your body will need rest. Hope your home gets sorted soon and that you start to feel better very soon. Hug that lovely dog of yours
No advice from me but just to give my support. So sorry you are going through this. My son is in Northampton and said that the weather had been bad. I saw on the news that Billing Aquadrome was flooded again. I feel desperately sorry for your plight. I cannot begin to imagine how terrible it is to get flooded. Just use every bit of help you are offered. Thinking of you x
Thank you so much Sandy. I was born and bred in Northampton, lived in various places of the world , survived tornadoes, hurricanes, ice storms, heatwaves only to get hit by the force of nature in my lovely English county home! I wouldn’t change it though. I will get through it but this is a real challenge. Hope your son stays safe. More rain on the way.
what can I say? Makes my problems very very small! And as for dogs? My darling Juno is my soulmate. If she goes before me( she’s 11.. so 77 equiv to our years) .. do I go into a Home?!? Anyway at present we are visiting care Homes.. and she is much loved . Not always easy for me faced with elderly( I’m 86) and their huge health problems ?!?! Onwards!and so much love and warmth to you. Xxx
Thank you. Yes, challenges are so much harder as we get older. And it’s so variable. One of my friends who is 77 has just climbed Mt Kilimanjaro! Another 81 year old runs marathons. And here I am at 77 a shadow of my former firmer self. But you play the hand you are dealt. How lovely to take your dog to care homes. Our dog is a rescue breeder found abandoned and a more loving caring soul you cannot meet but she has terrible separation anxiety. Yes…onwards and upwards!!
I am thinking of you…. I don’t leave my house much now because of my health, but yesterday OH took me to see our sons two dogs, wonderful boys, the way they look at you, so calming, keep yours with you, animals and nature, we all need it. Keep us posted.
I went to a pmr get together near Barnet yesterday and there was an 87 year old member who was swimming twice a week in a cold pool. !!! She said she felt much better afterwards!!!! Goodness! Bravo!!
Hi Bedwell,do you WANT to go into a home?Is there any way you could stay in your own home with help or a live in carer?Probably not much dearer having someone live in,at least you would be around your familiar things and memories.Just a thought.xxx💐😜
Thanks!!! I’m not totally against it.. like my mum was… and I had to put her in one.. dementia… awful!
But even with daughter and family next door.. I get lonely and I’d hate to have some stranger in my littke house sharing my bathroom and sittingroom. Different if it was family. Who are all working.. and out so much. Which is how I would wish for them!
Visiting Homes with Juno.. gives me a clear idea where I would not want to go!!!anyway!!
Hi Bedwell,could you not even contemplate a bit of care maybe twice a day or something and maybe an alarm?At least as I said previously,you would be near family,who no doubt would do a little bit for you and then have paid care.?Shame to be somewhere if you are reluctant at this stage.Pain in the butt getting old,shame we can’t all be Peter Pans!Sending you kind thoughts,xxx💐😜🧚🏻🧚🏻
thanks. Wasn’t considering any move in the near future!!! Also poss of retirement homes.. villages?! Just bearing in mind! Getting to know more people on my streets anyway.. daughters tried someone coming in twice a week. We didn’t have anything in common and was very expensive! Don’t worry just contemplating all possibilities. The value of family next door is not dismissed lightly I assure you!
As you say,very expensive and a lot of them only do it for the money,no people skills!Not all but no doubt a lot.Glad you are getting to know more people,that might mean more help in the future eh?……..Stay warm.xxx🌼😜
So sorry to hear all this and how much you must be struggling. Sending love and prayers that you have the strength and courage to do all you have to do and soon experience some healing and peace. xx
Hi J, I’ve only just read your post as I’ve been dealing with a few issues. I’m so sorry to hear your latest news. You couldn’t make it up could you! We’ve been following the flood alerts really closely as we live very close to a flood plain. I hope you get things sorted quickly and get the floors dried out and have some normality. Don’t let this be the thing that pushes you over the edge. I think you said you had a good doctor. It may be worthwhile contacting him to see if you can get some support. I’m about to start on an antidepressant as the last couple of months following a bout of Covid, and a torn shoulder have knocked me for six. I’m reluctant to take one but it’s needs must. I’m so pleased to hear that things are moving on with your awaited surgeries but it’s hard to look at the positives when you’re struggling. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you a big hug, C x
Thanks C. We are getting there with the flood recovery. Insurance has been quick to act . So many people are in a worse state. It’s just been a traumatic way to get a new carpet! I hope your new med helps. I have thought about it but I am a walking poly pharmacy already. I will if needs be. After all the love and support from this group I have decided to just let the tears flow, take the extra Pred as advised and take time to go through it. I hope your shoulder improves, that’s so painful. Sending a big hug to you too x
Dear Nightingales - My heart goes out to you. I don't know how I would handle so much grief and tragedy. I don't even know what to say except that I am so sorry ...
Hi NightingalesI had the unfortunate bad luck both times after big renovations to have freak flooding, taking out 1 whole floor. Imagine 2x, 2 different homes.
Trust me when I say like the rest, move out.
1st time beautiful location looking at ski hills; 2nd in the country.
Both times 1000 sq ft +.
As one person mentioned fans are loud as well as workmen.
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.I can't even imagine the pain your going through.I do understand the devastation a flood can cause.Two xmases ago we had a pipe break in our apartment.Water everywhere.We were just going to bed .I jumped up to hearing a hissing then water pipe burst.My husband jumped up and fainted.My granddaughter and her husband sleep over on Xmas eve and my granddaughter thought my husband passed away Went to a hotel and felt like Mary and Joseph looking for one that would let us stay early in morning.We were there til April before the apartment would agree to fix our apt.We had mold on everything.Wishing you a better outcome and hugs.Life can be overwhelming.
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