Yorkshire Man has had to revert back to Parker. In these strange and difficult times Parker has returned as gofer and general dogsbody. Or so he seems to think.
For all those out there those that have a person who helps out and looks after your everyday needs, Parker was considering a Facebook page to communicate with other partners, spouses, friends and carers. Those who give up their free time to do things for us like shopping so both can eat, cleaning so we don't turn in to hoarders and live in a hovel under mountains or rubbish meant for the bin and junk we just might need sometime in the future. Then there is the washing so we don't look or smell like street people and odd jobs like painting the house or basic DIY jobs.
For Yorkshire Man these are the jobs that normally get done by the Fairies. When the Fairies are not capable Parker has to step in. He understands the nagging moaning and complaining about half a job done is just the way appreciation and love is shown by the Grumpy miserable old Troll in his care.
The main problem with the Parker Forum is that he doesn't understand in any way shape or form social media or its function and importance in everyday life. Especially no during social distancing. He also has no intention of learning about it either.
Next is he doesn't understand or like other people, so any form of communication is abhorrent, pointless and boring. Unless of course it involves Sky Rats or there is a health and safety risk, like for example something that is hazardous to health that may involve the Fairies and a negative outcome.
When asked to do something the usual answer is "It on my To Do List." or " Yes just getting to that".
When your house bound 24/7 you get a little bit testy. You see all the little tiny pointless jobs that if they don't get done didn't matter when you could ignore them by going out. So nagging at half or no job at all, gets a to be a daily conversation with the only real person you have contact with. No good nagging on Zoom they switch you off.
I wouldn't mind but I let him got out to work 8 hours a day for a rest. He is a key worker and has no choice but I reckon if someone asked he would still choose that rather that being banged up in here with me all day. Easter will be such fun!
Parker has been getting a little too confident lately coming back with quips like "Well as you are doing nowt all day so why not learn a new skill like DIY. Take it slowly though dont over do it". Fact is if I did touch his "STUFF" and get out of sequence with the "PLAN" the sulking would be a nightmare to listen to. When asked when it might be finished he replies "I think I'm entitled to choose what I do and when. I do work all week".
I may need to do another Life Coaching module to help us through this phase. The Topic would be:
"What is Really Important in Our Life".
Module 1
MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!!!!
Module 2
WORKWORKWORKWORKWORKWORKWORKWORK!!!!
Module 3
The Art of Grovelling for Peace and Quiet
This will serve to keep me in the manner to which I am accustomed. He has to understand just how fortunate he is to have me nag him and keep him on the straight and narrow this is the only way. Trust me I do know what's right for him and all Parkers' out there.
Written by
Estellemac
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May I just say - there is a sub-species: Lincolnshire Man. He also thinks everything is done by Fairies - unfortunately he has identified me as one.
I couldn't stand the thick layer of dust on the balcony that Lincolnshire Man tramples through and bring in on his house shoes so have just taken the vacuum to it. I may live to regret it - though it does look better. I may wash it in a few days time. I was so excited, I had finally found a cleaner - who now isn't allowed to come here ...
I ‘found” my hoover last week hibernating in the back of the cupboard and thought “I’d better give it a go I suppose”,
Half an hour later with shoulders (old and new) complaining along with dodgy back I remembered why I employ a cleaner!
When I complained to daughter (who’s not exactly keen on housework) she said ...oh don’t worry mum, just leave it - you can’t see the mess with your eyesight..,and you aren’t going to have any visitors are you!
She might have a point........good job I don’t take offence!
Think I’ve said before after 18 years of moving house when hubby in forces - and having “March Outs ” conducted by civilian pseudo sergeant majors I never want to clean an oven or scrub every surface to within an inch of it’s life ever again!
Nowadays, when moving out, they get a professional cleaning company in! Pah, softies.
I did 25 years of March in and Outs with the forces and NAAFI. I’ve still got the flood rental to hand back too. The estate agent said they don’t do a handover just leave the keys and we’ll go in an check then give you deposit back if everything is ok. I said I think your confused. I get my deposit you get the keys same day same time. It is not negotiable. They tried that on my last flood rental in 2007 when everyone was in it for the money. Didn’t work then either. I just have nowt to moan about really so the dust gets it!! 🧐
Yorkshire Man used to tread through Pigeon Guano after cleaning out. Now he has my Henry Hoover for that and bought ( from the Internet unaided) me a lightweight Shark. Surprising how he can operate IT in a desperate situation.
Mine loves the one beginning with D, he does all the hoovering...never moves a thing!...but he loves it because he unscrews it all, washes, all the insides...once an engineer, always one!....it's lasted years!....
Neighbour who is 83, has cleaned all her bedroom windows, inside and out upstairs, curtains out drying, now going to take them in, iron them and put back up....phew, I need to lie down thinking about it!
I was going to clean my windows - but can't find the sachet of soap stuff and OBI (our B&Q) and the electrical shop are both closed so it will have to wait for the lockdown to slacken off a bit. That won't be yet ...
I like it. Parker got it from the Martin Lewis Money site with £50 off. It does everything. Good on a carpet, stairs radiators and under the beds or sofa. I don't like D too.
I have just had wood floors laid only have stair and landing carpets now. It works in that. I usually just use a soft duster in a stick you know those chenille ones for general use. With the Shark you just take the lift away gadget for stairs off and it goes flat under the bed etc.
It's a great photo...I love school pictures in black and white.
There was always going to come a day when Parker had to return to his role. And leave that vacuum where it is!!! It has just taken me 59mins to sort and clean my meds. I am a bit obsessive in terms of not trusting the taped ends! A Parker would be useful sometimes. 😊
'It's on my list' is a favourite response from my OH too. My answer is usually 'I don't want it on your list I want you to do it!' It's a hard life isn't it. 😊
I hate other peoples lists even more than my own. Neither get done and I find it more difficult to forgive myself. .....best not have lists. Disappointment all round. 😬
Does parker know his picture is on the forum for us all to see, is it a secret? OH would moan for England if he saw himself online although hes quite happy sharing old fire brigade pictures of himself and mates on fb!!xx
Parker sounds awfully like my OH maid of all work with bad grace. I fear he would join Parker’s forum, if there was a chapter for those suffering attacks of martyrdom, when asked to complete unfamiliar tasks in their entirety. Being banished from our bedroom into the perfectly nice spare has really put him in a childish bad humour. My life, listening to an audio book at bedtime rather than a cacophony of snores and grunts is bliss. I am only following my letter of exemption from all mundane tasks as I am ill, vulnerable, sweet and very special. He on the other hand is in rude health with strategic attacks of bad back and a terribly important job that involves laughing a lot on zoom conferences and admiring each other’s home decor. He is also able to skip into the sunshine to make food purchases like great jars of delicious Italian butter beans from our wondrous local deli. So versatile. While I look forlornly out of the window.
Had to laugh SJ - although you don't find it funny I'm sure.😂
As a contrast - my husband is unbelievable - he is 4 years older than me but does everything I ask without a murmur (sorry - just can't help admiring him)👨🏻🦳. He never "sees" things - I have to point them out - but he then follows instructions to the letter. We even do 'long distant cooking' - I relax on my recliner 🤪 and shout instructions into the kitchen.
The weather has changed over here - sun all day and warm. Last week we had temperatures of 5-6 degs (-3 to 5 in the night) now full summer 22 degs. What happened to Spring???
mentions one's OH in such a way in a post (mine I mean)!!! But it makes us realise just what we have!! He'd go mad if he knew what I said about him on the forum. He doesn't like being thanked too much either - his answer is "it's just what a man does when his wife is ill". There are others who don't see it that way. I fear relationships are being sorely "tried" in this lockdown. However, I'm also convinced there will be a lot of babies called "Cora" when this is over!!!😉😉
The trouble is Pro he isn't able to help much is he? By the sound of it he is in a worse state than you! You really should have outside help the pair of you. What a damned nuisance that you at last found a cleaner and then - bang - lockdown. Very worrying for you both. At least it seems Italy is getting a grip on things now. The UK is having one hell of a time.
I'm speaking historically! I'm not ill enough to need more than a cleaner really and he is improving now. He doesn't like the noise of the vacuum - another excuse
What a wonderful post and responses from all of you! I haven’t laughed so much for a long time. Just what we all needed I think! It is so good to know that Parker has been dug out of hibernation ( or hiding with his work or feathered friends! ) do please keep us amused with his antics , and yours Lady Penelope. What a wonderful tonic! Thank you!
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