I posted last week asking for some advice around a flare I was experiencing and thank you to those who responded. I’m sorry to be needy, but right now I need a virtual hug!
Even on 10mgs of Pred the virus is still running its course and making the PMR symptoms worse than usual, so I have been trying to take it easy. However, on Monday evening I got a phone call from my OH to say he had been hit by a car on his way home from London (he commutes on a motorbike) and was about to be taken to The Royal Free - he’s got a badly broken right wrist, mouth injuries including 3 lost teeth and a groin injury. Could have been so much worse and the bike’s injuries are terminal. Can’t say I’m upset about that.!!
Care in A & E very good. Of course it’s all started to go pear shaped since then. I’ve had to drive down to London 2 evenings running and not got back until 3 in the morning on Monday night and gone 11 last night, so if course I feel like s**t. Things weren’t happening regarding specialist reviews and action, so I have had to pester staff to make things happen. Information about extent of injuries wasn’t accurately documented and communicated. Last night the temporary cast on OH’s arm (which is too long was digging into his elbow joint) was getting tight and uncomfortable because he hadn’t been told by staff or given anything to help him keep his arm elevated. I politely tried to explain this to the nurse who was looking after him last night, however “Listening”, was not one of her key skills, so I’ve had to ring and have the same conversation with the nurse in charge this morning. Fortunately, she seems to be “on the case” partly because she’s clearly been given a b********g by the maxillo facial team for not having escalated the severity of OH’s injuries to them sooner. He’s going to be transferred to another hospital today to be treated in their Max Fac clinic and then back to Royal Free afterwards to wait for op on his wrist which we have been told will be Friday or Saturday now. OH is 63 and normally healthy, fit and very much on the money. But, and it’s a big but, he had an emergency triple heart bypass 6 years ago due to genetically caused high cholesterol furring up his arteries even though he was running marathons and cycling over 100mikes a week! So, the thought of him having surgery over a weekend is causing me a fair amount of anxiety. This is being made worse by the fact I can’t even be there with him at the moment and he’s not just round the corner. OH’s son is in New York on holiday at the moment and I’m on my own. Close friends have been great coming with me to the hospital, but they’ve got family birthdays going on so really on my own today. I know this will all pass, but right now I feel I’m in a bit of a dark hole. Going to get up and go and get some acupuncture this afternoon and the Aga man is coming shortly to fix the cooker that had gone out again, so hopefully I’ll be feeling a bit better by this evening.
Sorry to ramble on, but I really needed to get that lot off my chest!! All virtual hugs appreciated. Xx
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Nerak12
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Virtual hugs winging their way - hope that helps you know someone heard.
How awful - must have been clobbered pretty hard. No chance of staying closer? Where are you? Would be central London wouldn't it - last minute hotel rooms cost a fortune.
I know what you mean about hospital at weekend - but hospital at night often isn't much better. Will he be in ICU/HDU post-op?
Thanks PMRpro. Royal Free’s in Hampstead. It’s a 50 mile round trip. I’m just North of Hemel Hempstead near Berkhamsted. Wouldn’t want to be in a hotel room feeling the way I do at the moment. Let alone the cost!! Need my own nice soft comfortable bed plus I’ve got the 2 dogs to look after. Hospital at night was defo the problem last night! I’m on the case and they know it now, but it’s just such unnecessary stress.
Accident was caused by southbound driver making a fast right turn off Finchley Road straight across 3 lanes of Northbound traffic. OH was coming up the Northbound bus lane as bikes are allowed to do and driver went straight across in front of him. OH no chance of stopping. Fortunately he was only going 15 -20mph.
Don’t think they’ll put him in HDU/ITU. Will depend what anaesthetist thinks and what his heart does while he’s under anaesthetic and in recovery - he normally does a lot of giggling. Wish I shared his sense of humour!!
Thanks for the hug. How’s the weather with you today? We’ve gone mild again. Xxx
T-boned I take it. Hope the car driver gets hammered for dangerous driving.
I like ICU/HDU - care is definitely more reliable. At least, it is here
Yup - mild here again, nearly managed 22C yesterday - almost 20C today, supposed to be warmer than yesterday! Bit fresh first thing though - down to 5C overnight!!
I lived in Berkhamsted briefly - my cousin lived there and looked after me for a few weeks when I was working down there before we got married!
It’s amazing how many people I talk to who have connections with Berkhamsted. We’re very close by in a village, but we really like coming into “town”. Great indi cinema too 😀
Blimey. Speaking from experience,...you’re in a storm. It will pass. Batten the hatches and only do the necessary things for now. Accept help when offered and ask if needs be. It will pass. Sending virtual hugs
So sorry Nerak 12, this is obviously a very stressful time for you,l hope that your OH will respond well to treatment and be home with you soon.Try to rest whenever possible,l know that is easier said than done,it is good that you have your friends helping you . Sending you big virtual hugs,and caring thoughts and prayers,you will always find friends on HU who really care,please keep us informed about your OH,and how you are feeling yourself ,it is not easy for you having to cope with a flare on top of everything else xx
Hi and thanks Grants148. Aga is alight again so one thing ticked off the list. I’m doing as little as possible and dogs seem to have got the message that I’m off games at the moment. OH just arrived at other hospital for his face/mouth to be fixed. I’m Just going for some acupuncture so hope that helps bring some calm to the situation. X
I hope everything will go well for your OH,it is always difficult when the hospital is a long distance away,l hope that the acupuncture helps you. It is amazing how dogs pick up on emotions and stress ,l expect they are also missing your husband,but l am sure you are very glad you have them with you,lots of doggie cuddles are needed ,they are a great comfort .
I know what it’s like to have OH in hospital in London and being stuck in the countryside (DDD in my case) - he was in for triple bypass and in ITU for 5 days, then another 5 on recovery ward. It’s a hard, tiring time, but you will get through it.
Fortunately it was pre GCA, but I was still at work - so one day work, next day London on the train!
They are a tie, but good friends and comfort too. They help to keep ones feet on the ground. I think they’ve clocked something is up and are being very passive. Normal routine at the moment is stay in bed as long as I can, do as little as possible, chase the NHS, reach out and think positively. I think at last I’m learning 😀
Hi Nerak12 - I’m sending you a virtual hug also. I can only imagine how worried you feel and how it is affecting you, bless you.
The only thing I thought of was that most of the London Hospitals - also some outer London - have accommodation especially for patients relatives to stay in these sort of situations. Not mega-bucks either. I know you have your dogs to consider, but I am certain another neighbour/friend with their own pet/s would help you out? Good luck, try not to worry 😘
Good thinking Fergus. Thanks. If he stays in past the weekend I will investigate. Dogs always welcome with some of my friends, but I miss them when they’re not around. OH was missing them yesterday too. Xx
Oh no! You poor dear! No wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed and anxious. How could you not?! Try to get rest when you can, cut everything nonessential off of the To-Do list and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Sounds like the medical care situation is getting itself straightened out and OH will be getting the care he needs. Take any help that is offered. We’re all sending our very best healing energies to both you and OH.
All healing energies appreciated. Thank you. OH has had his mouth and face patched-up. It’s going to take at least a year to fully heal and lots of dental work needed. Just the right arm to be put back together now. Theatre time and orthopaedic bed availability permitting this will hopefully happen tomorrow or Saturday. 🤞🏻
Big big hug. Know that feeling of fate piling on the crap when you’re below par and just haven’t the energy to deal with it - then the Adrenalin kicks in - and then it rains *&£#@! %*. Love the dogs, love the aga, love your OH. Every step you take brings you closer to sunshine, cakes, and a healing OH. Promise! 🤗xx
Big hugs from Suffolk . I’m sorry you’re both having such a rough time but hopefully the hospital have stepped up to the plate at last and your OH’s op will go smoothly . I understand when you says your dogs know you are “ off games” - collies are particularly sensitive . My three dachshunds are a huge comfort too .
Thanks Katie. Just got a message from OH to say he was moved to day surgery unit at midnight last night. I suspect this was because they needed his bed in AAU for another patient rather than they have moved his operation forward to today, but I live in hope. Dog walker arranged for today, so at least they’ll get 1 good run. Dachshunds are great. Punch weigh above their size. Xx
Prayers and thoughts with you Nerak. What a rotten time stay strong use energy wisely through these testing times. I am sure OH will come through and recover quickly. Take care of yourself enjoy the sun where you can. x
I was not around much yesterday so hadn’t read your post. Bless You & hope your Husband is on the mend soon. So awful for you both, keep on the dose you’re on & no reducing at this time.
Hi MrsN. Thank you. Went up to 10mgs 5 days ago but pain levels still higher than usual, but I’m taking it all in 1 hit in the morning rather than splitting the dose as I usually do. Think I might split it again and see if that makes a difference. Particularly with how I feel when I wake up. Cough still hanging around, but tickley rather than productive. It’s the first time I’ve really been ill since starting on this PMR journey, so living with the unknown at the moment as well as dealing with OH’s predicament. I’m sure it will all work out eventually, but you know what us Type A personalities are like 😜. Hope you’re keeping well. Xx
Hopefully 10mg helps keep things under control for you & you can always add a couple of pain killers (ie Paracetamol) if you can tolerate them to knock some of the pain off as it might not all be PMR
Sometimes it makes you want to hide under the duvet all day!
Take any offers of help, people always say ‘If there’s anything l can do?’ well actually yes there is!.......
Either do an online food shop or ask someone to do it for you, just make a list. If someone offers to walk the dogs let them, anything that’ll help you.
Keep us in the loop, either when you settle down at night or first thing in a morning.
Take Care of You as you’ll be looking after your lovely husband once you get him home.
Thanks Mrs N. The online shop is a priority I think. The village bush telegraph is being cranked-up today by my friend who is part time village post mistress, so I think some helpful hands will be winging their way to me over next few days. I started on the Paracetamol when I had a temperature at the weekend, so going to keep that going regularly 4 times a day. I think time & rest is the key. I’ll keep you posted. Xx
My very best wishes for a speedy recovery for your OH and hopes that your own condition does not worsen because of what happened. You seem to be coping very well in the light of things though and I'm sure that, in spite of having to go out in the rain, those two collies help in their own way. So good you vented and got some air.
Especially with dogs, have two very stressful situations in our family at the moment, told my son's lovely calm lurcher everything yesterday, he understood it all......yes, I know I'm mad, but it all helps!.....😉
Sorry to hear of your ( and your husband’s) ordeal Nerak12. Hoping that your husband makes a full recovery and that you feel better quite soon.
On the accommodation front - I had to stay in The Royal Brompton hospital for 4 nights earlier this year for investigative tests for pulmonary hypertension. They were able to offer accommodation to relatives at very reasonable rates (for Central London). It was very basic single rooms with shared bathroom in the building which used to be nurses’ accommodation. I think it cost £45 per night. I also spoke with relatives of other patients who had explored the air bnb route and had found a beautiful self contained garden flat very close to Brompton for £80 a night. It sounded much more luxurious than the old nurses home!!
Hope there may be similar options available to you if the need arises as I know the travelling takes it’s toll. Take care and all best wishes.
Thanks Linda. That’s great info. Hopefully I won’t need it, as I’m going to let the train take the strain today. I view my own very comfortable bed as my palace, but if needs must it’s good to know the available alternatives. Xx
Your OH really has had a lucky escape, best wishes for a good recovery.
Look after yourself in all of this - OH will need you when he comes home, but at least you won’t have the dreaded travelling to hospital.
I’ve been through similar, many years ago now, when hubby was crushed under the wheels of a bus! Our dogs also knew something was amiss and when he did come home one of them sat with her back to him for a day for leaving her!
Ooh! Dogs can be so vexatious. A woman scorned.... Clearly all heart 😀. I predict a riot, when OH comes home. The word “down” will be in frequent use!! Xx
i'm so sorry that your having such a rough time at the moment. it is good to get things off your chest. hope your other half is improving, sending a big hug to you, take care x
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