Village entertainment

[Yellowbluebell]

Our grandson has been going on about us having outside christmas lights like we had at our old house. Since breaking his back my OH can not do stairs or steps of any kind, so anything involving stairs or heights is down to me. So we set out to put the damn things up. We borrowed a neighbours step ladder and dragged them and lights outside. I put the ladder up (Only 2 steps) against the wall, climbed on and tried to reach gutter. To far away. Moved steps nearer and tried again. Perfect just needed to stretch up. At this point OH puts his hand on my back to steady me (very loving). Then the steps suddenly move, I had actually put them on the soil and they sank in. Husband reaches for me, gets knotted up with the bloody steps that I have kicked away and we both go crashing on to our front lawn. As we are laughing so much.as no damage done to either of us and still laying on the lawn tangled in lights and a step ladder, we both realise that there seems to be a lot of cars in the road.

Unbeknown to us the water board who are laying new pipes in our village

have stopped any traffic getting down the street whilst the tarmac lorry turns around and there is a queue of about 6 cars parked on the street watching the entertainment. Being shyer than me OH gets himself free from the mess and starts looking busy collecting lights. I just don't care any more.amd wave to the bloody spectators and go indoors for coffee and a lie down. We finally got the things up but that's it is i am finished with christmas. They didnt really look perfect but at this stage as long as they lit up we didnt care. Bah humbug

[Blearyeyed]

Your house looks amazing , particularly the lovely tree in the window , just wish I had been in the street to watch the pre turn the lights on spectacle ( or to join you in a coffee and a sit down!, Got any more mince pie? Or some of the OHs Famous Christmas cake?).

Perhaps you could have put out a Mighty Chocolate Mouse call for help.

Certainly seems like that was a job for the PMR/ GCA Avengers!

Well done YB and Mr YB .

Bee xxxxx🎄🎄🎄🎄💡

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

We were just glad they stayed up and actually worked considering how they were dragged around the garden. The offending step ladder was sent home in shame. I just don't know why whenever I make a fool of myself the bloody village is there to see it. I should have called the pmr/cga Avengers, it would have least saved me the embarrassment of today's fiasco!!

They ran out of mincemeat in the co-op so no more mince pies. I have started sausage rolls now but got a new supply of mincemeat coming from Tesco tomorrow. I intend to stay in bed to avoid any more dramas.

I say this but at 3,30am I was ironing quilt pieces because I was sick of tossing and turning in bed.

The tree is looking good but not sure for his long as the cat has decided she likes sitting it for some reason.

This whole family is mad.Yb

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

You sound like me.

On of the upsides of the insomnia is if you are not totally fatigued or ache ridden that day you can get all those Christmas jobs done that you couldn't do in the day , like wrapping or writing cards or making gifts you don't want people to see.

One of my kids favourite sounds of the week before Christmas is the sound of sellotape!

I can just picture that old step ladder tottering up the drive like a guilty school boy , dragging his rungs and the supports folded behind his back with bits of your lights and tinsel trailing behind.

You do know a Eastern European Traditional is to put an ornament of a lucky cat

( usually black ) under your Christmas tree , YB Miaow is clearly just trying to do you some festive service and has no evil intentions , give him the benefit of the doubt

( or put gifts in the way to stop him walking to the back , remember my cat Onion , yes the weeing one , that was another of his favourite pee protest areas when he didn't get a bit of squeeze cream or a pick of brandy butter , be prepared Me Mouse!) .

Hugs Bee x

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I was happily ironing the many bits of the last quilt of the year and I can hear rummaging sounds and look over to the tree and she was sitting in it looking at a silver bauble that has started spinning (can't imagine why it suddenly started moving). She was about 2 foot up and quite happy till she moved to hit the bauble and promptly fell out. If she pees in that corner she will be grounded. Shes busy at the moment trying to persuade OH she needs milk and amother meal. He is very often the weakest link and she will succeed. It's hardly surprising the cat is mad when you look at the human members really.YB

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Goodness knows what that says about my family if you have to judge your cats behaviour on ours .

As far as I know I have never pee'd anywhere in protest but the eldest daughter had to be watched constantly for awhile when she started crawling because she kept going to sit butt naked in the litter tray!!!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Oh my god I don't think mine have ever done that but eldest did like sitting in the clean washing with knickers around her neck. The youngest was just a little shit most of the time. She turned out to be the madder of the two of them, I should have known really. Every animal we have owned have all been slighly "different". No I havnt peed in the corner yet but there will be 7 of us at Christmas and if I can't get into the loo because one of my mad family is in there I might have to consider the tree.YBxx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Have you still got that big bronze pot that your Mother's Rubber Plant used to stand in ?

It might be a bit more convenient than the back of the Christmas tree in a look queue crisis .

Plus , that sort of behaviour might give your children the last excuse to section you , and we've already given them enough fuel to force us in the Asylum over the last few weeks!

Giggles Bee x

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

No.my mum still has that pot. My two chose a nursing home ages ago. They keep telling me to behave and be nice as they are in charge of where I might end up. I keep telling them I am spending 6 mths of the year with each of them and I am going to insist on sitting in the supermarket trolley even though i don't fit and insist on shouting out rude things about people we pass. They know me well.enough to be worried! YBx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

My skinny legs used to mean I could still fit in the shopping trolley , just, a few years ago anyway , these joint issues mean I can't test it out to see now though.

And what are you talking about , back and forth between our daughters each year.

I thought we could use the inheritance money for all of our kids to spend the winter months in Spain and the Summer at a nice Spa hotel complete with young, good looking Male masseuse with expertise in PMR massage.

Really , perhaps all that Abstinence I am talking about on my post IS playing havoc with my mind!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Your abstinence is really quite short considering my lengthy 9 years and counting. Stop being greedy about all the diseases you have, I have won this unwanted world record!!

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

You have also won the disease category for spontaneous sultana eruptions don't forget that!

Probably one of the rarest forms of skin disease on the planet , or maybe like me , PMR / GCA issues are leading you down a very slippery ladder , oh no , that was the neighbour assisted by your OH. xx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I checked with him about whether he had found any fruit on his side of the bed and he looked at me blankly. He has found a few in the kitchen but nothing else.

I like sultanas but maybe not in bed. I have to stop this constant eating or I will need a pair of scales from the zoo.

I am not getting on anymore ladders. That thing was evil. I would ask the son in laws but they would take till next Christmas!@

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I was just in the bedroom and there are sultanas every where. Must have missed some of them at 5am when trying to remove the things from my pjs!@

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

No the OH is just trying to send you over the edge , he'll be leaving them all over the places you sit or lie all week until you run from the room screaming on Christmas Day with the turkey pulled down over your head and the kids finally get to section you.

Let me know which Hospital they are likely to put you in and I will make sure my family put me in that one too.

Perhaps we could find one half way between your and mine , you know how a long car trip plays havoc on joints , especially if you've got turkey juice running down your earholes. xx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I can tell you exactly where they would send me, Swandean hospital. It's where I worked and it's a secure hospital so they know I won't just walk home and surprise them. Yb

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

See you there Mate!

[Chihuahua1 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

I'd need a vastly oversized supermarket trolley for me to fit plus a crane to lift me into it and then out again.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Chihuahua1]

But think of the embarrassment you are causing your children and it's only paying them back for the years they caused you grief. Once you are in the trolley, by crane or just climbing in with your underwear on show, you can now reach other shelves (the more expensive products live higher up). Now for the fun!! As they are pushing you stick your hand out and hit every thing you can reach!!! CHAOS!!!!

[Daisychain12 in reply to Blearyeyed]

I have peed in protest. I admit. I was ten. At a bus stop in minehead and the bus was cancelled. I was desperate for the lav but my dad would not believe me. So I peed my jeans. “That will show him”. I thought, with malice. As he sat in the next bus dry and comfy and I stood in the aisle stained and uncomfortable 🤪🤣😟

[Blearyeyed in reply to Daisychain12]

Ooh, that horrible chilly damp feeling of wet jeans , I hope the bus wasn't full.

[Daisychain12 in reply to Blearyeyed]

It was until I got on 🤣

[Hollyseden in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Well I think your family including the cat, all sounds great. Do you foster any adult PMR victims 😋

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Hollyseden]

Me and Bee have enough trouble dealing with ourselves let alone be responsible for anyone else. I have just woken up after a few hours of sleep (2 Being my normal and today got 4) an discovered I have tipped my snack of sultanas over myself . Would you really want to be fostered by some one who can't even do snacking without wearing it!! YBx

[Daisychain12 in reply to Blearyeyed]

You two should be on the stage. And NOT sweeping it lol. Don’t ever change xxxx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Daisychain12]

If we are starting a stage act pretty sure YB will agree we will need a backing dancers and a band , would love to say it would be more like being on Vegas with Liberace , but in reality with our sense of humour and everyone's wobbly bods and shaking hands it is probably more like Blackpool with Les Dawson!

I have already signed you up DC , any role you want , if only to make sure that YB doesn't find another person peeing in protest behind her Christmas tree!

Hubby Bear wore a cool hat , Bee x

[Daisychain12 in reply to Blearyeyed]

Well I just love this!!! I will be the geriatric stripper. Happy to go down to my Long johns and vest and liberty bodice!!!

[Blearyeyed in reply to Daisychain12]

I have some tassles you could add to those long John's if you need them. X

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

No one is peeing behind my tree before I do. I could always join the cat in the neighbours garden but this would involve climbing the low fence (neighbours viewing point for watching me do stupid things) and squatting. Then I would be stuck. The rest of the incident would involve police, fire brigade and a mental health sectionings team!!! YBxx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Upside being if we are starting a stage act we will have a ready made audience for the debut! xx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Does this involve any dangerous stunts in public because the parish council don't like it when I cause chaos in the village!! YBxxx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

It's fine I have a permit for that , and we could always banish the Parish Council to the Village Hall and padlock the doors.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

After thinking about the ladder and light show earlier I have come to the conclusion I am being sabotaged by my neighbours. Our neighbours on one side have been traumatised by my antics in the garden and pool but the neighbour on the other side has missed out because our hedge is is over 6 foot. My thoughts are he had been told about my entertainment career and gave me the wonky step ladder on purpose so he could watch the chaos. Sabotage!!!

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

For the safety of this forums favourite chocolate mouse I shall give him a lifetime pass and front row seats to our stage act then he will never get to sabotage you again. Although thinking about it , it might give him more incentive to lend you a taller ladder and send me up it as well!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Oh Christ can you imagine the chaos if you and me and a ladder were together. Parish council would definitely start jumping up and down. I am waiting to see if our escapades yesterday make it into our parish news next month.YBx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Sorry , ERM , yes , was I not meant to send the photos in for the full colour supplement.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

NOOOOOO Please don't. All those people in their cars probably have pictures on their phones already. Just what I need to see on the notice board at the co-op. Oh my god I need to block that image.ughhh

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Didn't you know the video has already gone viral on YouTube!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I actually felt quite energised yesterday even though I had been up and out of bed since 3 ish. I even cleared a "dump it all in here" drawer which involves a lot of stress whe you discover things you have spent hours looking for laying at the bottom.!!YBx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Was wondering were that Lost Ark of the Covenant had got too!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Yep definitely a chance it's in there. I wouldn't mind but there were pliers, a spanner, numerous hooks, nails and other tool box items but obviously not the tool box. Why ask for a toolbox if you don't intend to use it for tools. The box is in the shed, the tools are in the house! There is a large pile of stuff at the back doors to go down to shed but I fm going to see how many times he walks around it before it gets moved or I lose my temper!! YBx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

We ARE married to the same man !!!!!!!

[Daisychain12 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

I demand a photo of you making sausage rolls in bed.

[Blearyeyed in reply to Daisychain12]

What!?

Has Mr YB filled the kitchen so full of stuff again that Ms Mouse has been forced to do her baking under the duvet!!

I must be tired , or I have definitely missed something.

By the way just woken up but with my brain that's not really a good excuse.

[Daisychain12 in reply to Blearyeyed]

Yes YB is determined to perform her Nigella Oliver act from her bed!!!!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Daisychain12]

What am I supposed to be doin? Just woken up to find out I have sultanas in bed with me plus the bag they were in. Do you know how far a sultana can go when you sleep on them. Yesterday it was wagon wheel and now it's sodding fruit. I am wondering if OH has some of my snack on his side!! I don't want it back just curious to see where it went!!YBx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

You were allegedly meant to be getting all Nigella with some sausages in bed , I promise I did spread this scurrilous rumour as I am pretty sure from the number of sultanas down your cleavage that you were trying to convince the OH to start baking fruit cake again. xx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

He hasn't felt the need to venture into the kitchen and start baking since the cake day.

I am not getting into bed with just anyone you know. I fancy James Martin in bed but doubt he would want to sleep with my sultanas and wagon wheels to be honest.Ybxx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

He is a chef I think he would bring his own sweet treats wouldn't be?

At least that would be the ultimate fantasy in that situation I think.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Maybe he has some choc raspberry roule he could bring.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Me too??? Not sure where I should be doing anything. Daisynchain have you lost the plot or is it us??

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

You don't know how much I just laughed at your last comment. The irony. It comes to something when one of us accuses someone of having , ' lost the plot' !!!

DC was clearly on form when she hit upon your post , and with that striptease act she's talking about we may even get to see her prance about in that Madonna body suit , those purple shoes that she was jauntily showing off in her photo the corner day.

Your neighbour might just reserve his seat again.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

They are having a viewing platform built so that they can watch in comfort next summer.!!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I woke up at 5am so I don't know what I have done. All I know is santanas do not make good bed partners.Ybxx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I have just realised what daisy chain meant. I said I was staying in bed to avoid more chaos but I was also said I was starting to make sausage rolls!!! Dausynchain isn't confused, its us!! Mind you we should have realised it would be us Not other more sane people !!

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

At this time in the morning in the UK it is not surprising we are confused , but saying that I think the Logic Train left the station before you located where you left your sultanas!

And , I will have you know , I have found some sultanas can be particularly charming bedfellows under the right circumstances 😂

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

They would be better if they were in a Christmas pudding yum yum but just loose in the bed was a bit of a problem.

I was always logical at work but it seemed to bail out as soon as I was at home . It had nothing to do with pmr, I have always been slightly deranged!!

Have you had any sleep? I know it must be hard with all pain you have but you need to take sleep where ever you can. OH can fall asleep upside down on a tight rope but it takes me a while to drop off. Are you having an afternoon nap? Prmpro suggested to me I might be over tired at night so i cant sleep and that I could try having a nap to see if it helped. Maybe that would help with your lack of sleep. I can see the logic in it. Might try today. YBx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

I have been having a siesta for years actually don't have much choice onecof my bad head ache times hits about 4 pm and only pressure on the temples helps or I cannot stop myself from falling to sleep. This happens no matter how much sleep I get at night.

PMR pro sounds like my Mum , she used to say that , yes , I am overtired but if the drugs I get forcnights don't knock me out I don't know how to solve it.

I catnap when I can , and it is alot more pleasant to get the odd hour here and there ( like Winston Churchill on the couch with his bell in ww2) than go through the swoons and death spasms that occur many times before I eventually pass out at night.

Did get a couple of hours earlier and I am probably ready to nod off for another one now , it's all this laughter I think , it's doing the same thing as a good yawn and a hot bath and helping me to nod off . Odd really because I thought boredom or watching a documentary on Brexit was meant to do that.

Oh , and by the way , are you sure we are not married to the same man , they have all of the same traits right down to snoring to the point of near suffocation and knocking their wives off ladders!

[karools16 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Mad family?............The best kind to have. Bet your grandson loves the lights.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to karools16]

He got very excited but when be was told the story of how me and grandad hung the things up he was hysterical and couldn't wait to tell his mum and dad who then proceeded to tell his aunty and uncle!! Just to top it off he went back to school the next day and told his teachers who then had a laugh with his mum and dad at his nativity play yesterday!! I just love my life!!!

[Blearyeyed in reply to karools16]

Just thought I would let you know as you like a bit of fun like the rest of us I just posted the festive sprout story I had been talking about with YB. Festive Fun . The Wondorous Game of Spronkers , might raise a smile when you need a rest from the Festive Fatigue. Hugs . beex

[karools16 in reply to Blearyeyed]

I had to google spronkers to find out what it is????? There won't be any festive fatigue, this year, as I am spending the day with my 100 year old lady, and her 91 year old dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nuff1 in reply to Blearyeyed]

We've never had lights outside - neighbour across the lane at the back has some pretty ones on a bush in his garden.

It's not so long ago that OH (DESPITE HIS JOINT LIMITATION) was up on the roof r3movin stereo aerial from chimney - neighbour couldn't cope with the height).

I can' cope with ladders or stepladders - had a stoke 6 years ago and could go up steps but not down backwards, even on the house stairs.

Aging is not fair - my great-aunt was helping out part time in a market garden packing lettuce in boxes when she was 84; the two midle aged bachelor owners used to visit her a couple of evenings per week to play whist.

Off to start a new thread.

[Blearyeyed in reply to Nuff1]

I was fine with ladders ( even used to climb the parallel ones in the theatre in the dark in my youth to get to the fly's) until things deteriorated , the eye and dizziness issues mean that I suffer vertigo occasionally when I stand up now !!

I know I am considered quite tall for a girl but at 5'8' and not 15 ft it is blooming ridiculous !

I will look out for your new thread. Bee x

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I am only 5'3' so most jobs requires a ladder of some sort in this house. I am ok with heights but I married a fireman to do that sort of thing. Look where that got me!! Rolling around the garden with a step ladder!!

My god you would definitely be a liability now. Best stay grounded.YBx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Nope , I will be sitting on the edge of that building in Doomsville keeping vigil over the city with a flask of hot chocolate and some coconut mushrooms , just give me some added coat hanger fairy wings , a halo and a really good bungee !!!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Now I would pay to see that but with your luck the bungee strap would break!! YB

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Cheeky , cheeky , plus I will have two spares , you know how I like to be prepared , and use Boy Scouts to get stones out of horses hooves. Dib , dib, dib , Dobby stole my socks !!!

Oh blimey , I'm off again , quick come back to the light Venom!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

How the hell did you get to Harry potter from boy scouts? Actually don't answer that!! YBXx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

SKILL😊😀😁😂😂😂😁😀😋

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Just wrote a serious but uplifting conclusion to my post today so I have managed to successfully bring myself back from Looney Town.

Now off to use the loo as my Christmas tree is not up yet!!

Tootles xx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Darling you are always on the dodgy side of everything!! YBxx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Huh! What have I said this time ?

Don't know , but if I can't always be dodgy I can always be relied on to be doddery!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Dodgy/doddery who cares. I don't mind being the dodgy to your doddery. You have more qualifications in that deparyment.

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

To my .........what ......?

Oh I am having a nap I will have to come back later and find out the answer to that one . xx

[Nuff1 in reply to Blearyeyed]

Going up laddes was nevera problem from childhood was never a problem. I was brought up on a farm and remember when aluminiium laddders became available this meantthat little brother, young cousin and I could carry the various parts of extending ladder around the farmyard.

[Daisychain12 in reply to Nuff1]

Nuff. My nan lived in a tiny two up two down with a practically vertical staircase. You had to go up it on hands and feet. She had NO heating just a tiny Victorian hearth in one room. No hot water. Just a cold tap in kitchen. No indoor toilet She lived alone until age 96. I remember the last time I visited her she was watching the Boom Town Rats

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

His cake has been lovingly cared for, fed copious amounts of brandy and hidden from me. I don't like fruit cake enough to go hunting for it. Now a chocolate and raspberry roule would be a different matter and I would willingly consider murder for that!!. It's just as well son in law can not see this bring a policeman!! Although before OH sleep apnea was diagnosed I often threatened him with smothering on our family WhatsApp.!! YBx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Surely , if your Son in Law did not bring you in at that time , with all that evidence about your murderous intent , and give you a verbal warning in his role as a ' Boy in Blue' he was being negligent in his professional duty and therefore completely responsible for your criminal actions thereafter.

You could get off Scot Free , we could argue it in Court , and if our defence looked like it was going off the rails , DC could do her striptease for the judge and we could make a swift get away.

Ok, PMR , so slightly less slow escape.

Plus I think that Superheroes are given alot of leeway in the murder department , going on current movie evidence so our Sleep Aponea crippled OHs better watch out!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Son in law tries very hard to ignore anything I say or do in regard to killing husband. I would do my own defence and remind the judge I have lots of info on his private life he wouldnt like to be made public.!! It's amazing what the court ckerks talk about and even more interesting conversations go on in the holding cells. I have my black mail info stashed away!! If daisychains dancing works do we just leave her behind or do we grsb her on our way out??

Husband has just woken up and said "let me guess you and Bee are creating chaos again". That sooo rude. As if!!

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Well it makes a change to have you wake him up by giggling and randomly bouncing sultanas out of your cleavage than him waking you with thunderous death snores ( if he is anything like mine , the worst is the snore , total silence , you wait in anxious anticipation like watching a Hitchcock thriller , then ahh! Snore again).

In answer to the Court get away plan , I reckon we leave DC there with the 110% intention to return later and break her out of the holding cell Western film style with TNT, a rope and horse , in which time she will have overheard enough extra gossip to add to your blackmail file that we will all receive immunity from prosecution for the next 100 years.

Sounds like a plan? Now just to find those horses , hugs , The Sundance Kid xx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

He was horrendous! If I didn't get to sleep first I could forget it until about 2 when for some reason the snores eased off a bit. I nagged and nagged about him see gp but never did it until after a really bad night he mentioned it to the nurse and she said he had sleep apnea. Result!! Except I now sleep with some sort of alien robot head thing because of the mask. It stopped his snoring immediately though. Every so often the machine has a breakdown and starts hissing and I resume the "kick the husband" method of stopping snoring. I could just wake him up to sort the machine out but I enjoy kicking him.

Popping sultanas out of my cleavage is not an image he's ever considered but it might make him go to sleep with a smile on his face!! Mind you if he does I wouldn't see it because of the bloody mask!!

We might want to warn daisy chain we will be leaving her there but promise to go back for her. That's if we actually remember because I have had a problem concentrating on anything for more than 5 mins at a time. Hence the cold bath yesterday!! You will have to be the one that remembers she still there. I have no idear where we are getting a horse from though. How about zachs nativity donkey? Does that make me butch cassidy?YBxxx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Yeah , I know 'our OH' ( because I am definitely sure we are married to the same bigamist) has the machine but I have now gone from listening to the snores of a faulty engine on Concorde to feeling like I am lying in a darkened room with Darth Vader giving a really long , angry sigh!

Not totally sure which is worse , at least we know why the baddies were so angry in Star Wars , it was a sleep deprived reaction to having to share a bedroom with a bad Jedi Knight with sleep aponea!

' The Snores are strong in this One'

[Blearyeyed in reply to Blearyeyed]

Oh , and just in case not including DC in my last reply is proof that we would forget to go back to collect Daisy Chain from the clink , don't worry it's already sorted, I have written a post it note and put it on the fridge...

1. Buy Milk

2. Get Donkey and Reindeer Carrots

3. Stock up on coconut mushrooms

4. Break Daisychain out of jail

See sorted 👍

[Blearyeyed in reply to Blearyeyed]

Don't know wether you want to be Bitch Cassidy or Why me Earp?

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I'm some how think daisy chain should take a change of clothes and a lot of pred as she may be there some time if she's relying on either of us to collect her. Bitch Cassidy sounds the perfect name for me.yb

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Blearyeyed]

Must be 3 of them - though mine isn't snoring as much these days for some reason...

[Blearyeyed in reply to PMRpro]

Not snoring so much?

Have checked if he is still alive ?

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Blearyeyed]

Always seems to be at 7am when he decides it is time to make the first pot of tea...

[Yellowbluebell in reply to PMRpro]

I wish mine did the tea without being ask or reminded. YB

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Yellowbluebell]

It's the insistence of continuing even when on holiday and the "Haven't you finished yet..." demand.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to PMRpro]

Just told my OH about 7am tea and now he's gone to sulk in the shed!!

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Oooops - sorry ...

[Yellowbluebell in reply to PMRpro]

Oh he can stay down there. He only makes the house look untidy when been in it!!!

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Yellowbluebell]

That's something to do with the genes. Or the jeans. Or something...

[Blearyeyed in reply to PMRpro]

Well , if the cup of tea is still coming you are ok , he is still alive 😂

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Blearyeyed]

That's what I assume too ...

[Rose54]

Looks great from what I can see

Hope you are both ok yourselves

2 steps on the ladder is my limit as well

But putting lights up outside is beyond me I know Im not safe

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Rose54]

It would seem neither are we. I didn't even look where I put the ladder, just plonked it down and hoped for the best I think. I suppose I should be grateful I wasn't left dangling from the gutter.YBx

[Daisychain12 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Norman Wisdom springs to mind .....

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Daisychain12]

I don't know how to answer that!!!

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Ooh! Mr. Grimsdale , funny jerk , big wink , surely ?

[pmrkitty]

It's a shame to be caught like that...too bad the sprinklers didn't turn on. That would have made the news! Stay off ladders, you can always get the help of one of the kids on the block and give them a couple of £. They'll be happy and you won't be in the hospital. Merry Christmas!

[Daisychain12 in reply to pmrkitty]

Haha like artful dodgers

[Blearyeyed in reply to pmrkitty]

A couple of pounds !

You would be lucky , in today's economy the lazy little blighters won't get off the sofa for less than £20 !

And that's mates rates.

Even my daughter has to be bribed with cake!

Giggle . bee x

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Mine need bribing as well but usually with food. Youngest its shepherd pie, oldest it's banana bread.YB

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

You really did choose some funny names for your children YB !

[Yellowbluebell in reply to pmrkitty]

Please no sprinklers!! I dread to think of that scenario.YBx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Picture YB in slow motion getting off the floor like she is in a Diet Coke commercial , or maybe they can use the sprinklers on Daisy Chain , if she is happy to strip forcthe stage act a little wet t-shirt display will be no problem( or wet long John's it is winter isn't it!).

Bring on the hose!

[Daisychain12]

Oh no!!! What a story. But what a staggeringly beautiful result!!! Are you ok????? And I cannot find an update on the shaking xxxxx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Daisychain12]

We were fine and to be honestif we hadn't realised we were the star act we may have still been on the lawn laughing. YBx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Daisychain12]

I did post but the result so far is it isn't nornal for pred or pmr but he want to keep an eye on it and see how it is in two weeks because he has lots of patients on steroids but none with that symptom but that doesn't mean the pred isn't causing it to be a symptom in me!! I like being different!. It could be stress related (as far as I am concerned this is a distinct possibility). After that who knows but at least he's keeping an eye on it rather than just sweeping it away. YBxx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

I have had it off and on for years even before the current illness or steroids .

I would have real difficulty holding a camera up before for too long , and have to hold the wrist of one hand with the other to stop the letters going all wriggly if I was icing a cake.

I have heard of some people getting tremors with steroids , especially in combination with some other pain medications.

Are you on alot of other medications , the contradictions with each other can cause more unusual side effects.

Did he check your BP etc. ? Sometimes they can cause tremors .

Glad you got it checked out and they are keeping an eye on it , we need our mouse eared Superhero!

I read your other message on chat. I do think if I wasn't patient after all these years of frustrated treatment in Wales I would have been up on charges like you would over an OH incident by now , or maybe exploded in some sort of way they would be more willing to treat as urgent.

But I am bidding my time , and if I get asked to wait again for a decision you may have to represent me in court.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

The only other drugs I take are amitriptyline, hormone for menopause and tramodol for my shoulder pain. Oh and calcium.

Nothing too exciting and nothing that he could see would be giving me the shakes. I reckon either low blood sugar or stress, only time will tell.YBx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

If it started after the Amitriptyline it can be from that , according to the Neurologist the other day one of the side effects can be palpitations which may not always be obvious in the feeling in your chest or breathlessness but in mild form can cause the slight tremors down your arms and legs creating the wobble and shake.

If it happened before the drugs though , it is one of those neuro things that has to be monitored , or put to good purpose in whipping up cream for a trifle at Christmas.

Gosh YB , that was nearly a totally serious and useful reply on a medical matter.

What going on ?! Perhaps I should go and have another lie down . X

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Been on amitriptyline for years with no side effects but the tremors started about a month ago but only slight. I now get then the same amount but they are stronger. They don't last for long but thst may be me being aware if them and trying to stop them?!!!

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Definitely needs checking then , stay strong my chum xx

[karools16 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Years ago I took Tramadol. After just 1, I was walking on the ceiling! Stopped them.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to karools16]

Some people are sensitive to certain pain killers. I don't have any problem with tramadol but I know people who like you have a couple of doses and given up taking it. It is strong. YB

[patriciawhite]

I am sure I saw something on youtube about a couple frolicking on the grass in their garden and I didn't believe it was you .OOHHHHHHH MRS I AM SHOCKED !

[Yellowbluebell in reply to patriciawhite]

It would not surprise me in the least. If my oldest son in law had seen it, it would have been on the net within minutes. Oh well I will await the next time life decides to make me look stupid again!! YBX

[Estellemac in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Nowt wrong with YouTube fame when no one is damaged. You could go viral as they say.

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Estellemac]

Maybe you could raise funds for PMRGCAuk with a viral video...

[Yellowbluebell in reply to PMRpro]

Prmpro you are supposed to be the voice of reason.!! Unfortunately I know within a few weeks something else will have happened to get the poor neighbours talking. YBX

[Estellemac in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Don’t forget to Video it then. Be prepared.

[Estellemac in reply to Estellemac]

Who read the Daily Mail today? Great photo (and video in the online version off CCTV) of a vandal destroying their neighbours external tree lights. The house holder thought it was young people. When he played it back he saw a lady cross the road with hood up hiding the face get a pair of wire cutters out and snuff the tree lights out. Brilliant 🌲🥴😳😂

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Estellemac]

Some media suggested it was an elderly lady...

[Estellemac in reply to PMRpro]

Must be flashing in the bedroom window all night. Mine switch off at 10pm

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Estellemac]

To be honest if they were flashing in my bedroom window I would probably disconnect them as well.yb

[Estellemac]

We just draped ours round the front lawn in the shrubs. Not perfect but not what we were aiming for.

So glad you didn’t have to spend the festivities in hospital. You brightened up the day for all those people chuntering about being stuck in traffic. How thoughtful of you both 👍👍

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Estellemac]

We should have done that as well. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. The grandson got his lights and we got amuse the village. YAYxxx

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Estellemac]

Ours are hung at just above the top rail of the balcony - attached to cords around the roof supports. No climbing, no scrambling and visible both inside and along the road. What more does anyone want?

[Yellowbluebell in reply to PMRpro]

I was thinking of just leaving the damn things up there. Solved!!!

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Yellowbluebell]

I'm very tempted...

[Yellowbluebell in reply to PMRpro]

My reasoning is we normally decorate the house for Halloween for Zach and the lights have to come out of the loft, so it would save the effort of doing it twice.YBx

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Yellowbluebell]

And Easter lights and eggs. And summer party lights...

[Yellowbluebell in reply to PMRpro]

Exactly!! A very good reason to leave them up all year. That's it sorted then!! YBx

[GCA1947]

I haven't had such a good laugh for absolutely ages any chance that you and Blearyeyed could keep it going over the New Year?

Many, many years ago when I worked for a local government Architects Department, a group of like minded souls decided they would subscribe to the then new National Lottery. As an administrator I was nominated to run said lottery and would each week collect the £1.00's from those who had forgotten to pay. A thankless task. To liven up the weeks of non-winnings I put together a magazine of useful anecdotes and a weekly story. I have always had a peculiar sense of humour. The first attempt on my part was entitled There are Fairies at the bottom of my garden and I stretched it out for 12 chapters. None of which I am sorry to say were suitable for this illustrious host. I'll get to the point of this post shortly.

My second attempt described how I excavated a 12-foot deep hole in the bottom corner of the garden to use as a compost bin. That ran for about 20 chapters and involved amongst other things the importing of 200-tiger worms from Peru to eat the carrion that I found on my nocturnal ramblings along the country roads of Suffolk. Likewise this was too ill-refined to put before your good selves, but I do remember walking down the garden path to fling the contents of the night pot over the pile of rotting vegetation. I was an organic gardener in my early days of living in Suffolk and several books recommended urine as a useful agitator for decomposition.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you

Colin

[Blearyeyed in reply to GCA1947]

Wow that sounds so interesting I love a bit of road kill for artistic purposes and scrambling around in the dirt ( because of my love of wildlife , not for anything you might be thinking about YB , you little minx!)

I am sure , if YB and I manage to get to New Year without being sectioned by our respective families these inane chatters and meanderings into madness will go on and on .

We even started a few days ago with bizarre deviations that started with a couple of posts from me on Cryoglobulinemia turned PMR superheros and Advent Calendars and a vote on Bounty that outdoes Brexit , and a culinary escapade with Mr YB in Kitchen Chaos from the amazing Mrs YB.

If you liked this you might like them too , plus you will understand some of the in jokes that might have had your head spinning on this current crazy trip.

New posts from us both and more mayhem coming soon , I am currently thinking of a new festive posts on Sprouts!

Hugs to our Number 1 Fan , Bee x

[Blearyeyed in reply to GCA1947]

Just in case you were interested , especially after your encouragement we are off again under a new post from YB on her lovely grandsons Nativity play and you know what sort of hilarity they can cause.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I don't actually go out of my way to cause hilarity it just seems to find me. Like how i had to make a cake at 7pm for a party grandson needed in school tomorrow. Seems like most parents/grandparents had forgotten about itjudging by a frantic email that went around at 5.30!! I dutifully went into nanny mode and made something and was just washing up when I thought I would have the contents left in the bowl. After one finger dip I remembered prior to filling sink I had I had put washing up liquid in it!! Mouth still feels very yucky and I could blow bubbles for grandsdon when I see next see him. If I had more will power I would stop getting into these messes butbibdont actively go looking for them.YB

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

I have moved over to looking at your Grandsons nativity post for messages , as we have had so much fun here that it is taking five minutes for the post to load on my old tablet. Would you care to join me Choccy Mouse? Xx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Of course!! Must admit it was taking forever to load that post.

[Blearyeyed in reply to GCA1947]

As promised I thought I would let you know that I have posted the next installment of festive fun . The Wondorous Game of Spronkers ! and I am sure the usual amount of distracting banter will ensue.

I expect you would be a great competitor , you look like you could wield a conker so the festive sprout version may interest you.

Merry Xmas . bee x

[Yellowbluebell]

Oh Colin I can see you wandering the country lanes with dead animals in hand. Obviously everyone like your stories if they lasted for some many chapters.

I have no doubt myself and blearyeyed will be subjecting you all to the joys of our daily life, especially over Christmas when the level of madness increases in most homes and ours probably more than others!!

I have a compost heap but i am not telling my 6 year old grandson that the compost heap likes urine because my poor new neighbours have suffered enough over the last year.

I am really happy you had a laugh at our antics because we feel having a laugh cheers us up and makes coping with pmr/Gca just a little bit easier. Keep laughing. YB X

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

You mean you don't encourage Mr YB to urinate in the compost!

Mr Bee aka Prof. Pompom ( or Johnny Slackbladder as he is sometimes known in this home my friends call , 'The Asylum' ) is regularly relegated , because of aforementioned affliction to the bottom of the garden , because of a lack of vacant toilets and a house full of women.

Now used to it the sheep in the field at the bottom of the garden no longer run away in shock , and the cows come to spectate with mild curiosity.

That is until it is my time to join in!!!!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

They run away because you have to squat and they know it's going to end up with you laying on you back like an upturned tortoise and they don't want to hurt your feelings with their hysterical laughing.yb

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Excuse me , have you been spying on me at the compost heap again ?

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Yes totally! To be fair when iwas first learning to scuba dive I was all kitted up ready to start my lesson when I bent down to put ankle weights on, tried to stand up and couldn't and ended up lying on my back, rocking on my tank, unable to get upright again and all of this in front of not only my group of students and 3 other schools but best of all it was in a navy dive.site so there were sailors every where.yb

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

I hope those Sailors looked like Richard Gere and acted like Gentlemen as well as Officers and ran over and gave you a hand.

Just imagining you now being scooped up of the fall dressed like Johnny English being carried off to the changing room ( complete with oxygen tanks) by a muscular man in whites , grabbing his sailor cap from his head , putting it on and then waving back over his shoulder at a room of cheering divers .

Even your flippers are jauntily flapping!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I was to busy acting like a beached whale to bother what they looked like. All I know is it took my instructor and another teacher to actually put me the right way up. Years later he still reminds me of the incident. Xx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I am not encouraging him to pee anywhere other than the toilet as zach will copy him and then I have to answer the inquisition that is my eldest daughter and policeman plod. Besides we have a 8 ft fence at the end of the garden and even in his wildest dreams he couldn't get over that. Can you imagine the horror of the neighbour as he got showered in urine in his garden!!

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Probably deserved it after lending you that faulty ladder!

( you know you are taking part in too many health related questions and it comes to something when you write the word ladder and autocorrect changed it to bladder . Thank goodness I didn't just press post this time , or that would have opened a whole new can of worms , the idea of your neighbour lending you his faulty bladder will keep me entertained while I finish cooking my ham )

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

The neighbour at the bottom wasn't the one who lent the ladders. I havnt even met this neighbour but have the feeling he may already know who lives in the house over the fence. The one who lent us the ladder is 84 and knows Every thing about anything. He plays the organ very loud at all times of the day end night, has a very large but nice alsatian who barks along to his organ playing but he doesn't hear him because he's going deaf. It took 3 attempts today for OH to get him to open the gate, even though the dog was barking. Still think he sabotaged the bloody ladder.yb

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Who has an organ in his house!!

Is his house black and spooky?

Does he wear a cape?

Is his surname Dracula?

Your village is starting to sound better by the day , especially as you seem to live next to Vincent Price or Bela Lugosi !

If your new neighbour gives up and decides to move , I am up there , complete with viewing holes punched in the giant fence or bush to push my binoculars through when I need a laugh. xx

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Blearyeyed]

I'm absolutely shaking with giggles here...

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

There's a 2 bed place across the road up for sale. Nice village, quiet neighbours!

The organ is an old Dracula type and he well may be Dracula.

Why bother with holes in the hedge or fence we could just have a gate put in.

At least if you moved in I could share the village entertainment duties and I wouldn't be the only odd villager!

The image of you sitting there giggling Pmr/pro is making me giggle.YB

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

I have just written a new post , not the comedy sprout effort yet but on tips to survive Christmas shopping.

Even if it's not of use to you , it will probably create some more useful material for our conversational double act , and we won't have to wait for the page to load , plus I mention you in it , you are my inspiration in all things after all.

Hugs to flipper xx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

I will look now. I plan on hibernating to survive Christmas.

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

If only!!

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Yellowbluebell]

I have always left home ...

[karools16]

Have only just caught up with the forum. Hilarious!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to karools16]

Me and blearyeyed are slightly out of control and very close to being sectioned by our respective families. We have discussed a variety of subjects on the forum and do not need much encouragement to veer off onto a new topic. Glad you have had a laugh at the chaotic rambling of two very odd people YB.

[GCA1947]

Three odd people if you add me in as well. You couldn't get any odder than me. I'll look in the workshop and see if I can find the two tomes that I brought home with me when I retired in 2002. I couldn't have left them in Architects there were far too many "funny" stories waiting for publication and no one wanted to take on my mantle. I did wonder why! Though I was still 6 ft 3 inches then and the cloak/mantle was a bit on the long side. As with school, the scouts, Music Concerts I could actually sing quite well in my youth and sang in school concerts before my voice broke at 15, in a row I towered over everyone else. My second bout of Osteoporosis took another two inches off my height, so now I am 6 ft 1 inches.

Sadly I have no family who I can turn to for help, my darling Janet passed away in 2016, and I still miss her. I couldn't have any children because I am infertile (Klinefelters Syndrome) and I don't have any friends another K.S. problem.

best wishes, Colin