<Thanks for your support. Unfortunately I’m not there yet. I’ve lost my life, my looks, my figure and every door to any kind of hopeful future seems to be slamming shut. In the midst of a really bad relapse just now with little or no medical help and I’m really sad to say for the first time in my life I feel I’d rather not wake up. Hoping I’ll get through this. Sorry this all sounds me me me.>
Beware long post!!
So it should be; you, you, you. You have been through hell and back.
I felt like this a year ago. I couldn't even listen to my music or do my sewing, I had no zest for life at all. It was enough for me to cope with living. I hated looking in the mirror, it wasn't me I was seeing it was someone else, can you relate to that?
I couldn't do a proper food shop so I had on-line shopping. I felt that even the smallest tasks were too much for me to cope with. Whatever I did took three times longer and thought to myself how can I cope like this.
I bought some trekkers so that I could at least walk short distances, me legs kept giving away!! Getting up the stairs was like climbing a mountain and not good when you were desperate for a wee!!
I think that I may have been suffering from Post-traumatic stress disorder for a while and maybe you are as well.
My daughter suggested getting counseling to help me through but that was too much of an effort.
Over the months things very gradually improved and I was able to do normal everyday things albeit a lot slower.
You need to give yourself time to come to terms with your illness. We can't do anything about the side effects of the prednisolone which can be as bad as the disease itself.
Think of how you were before this disease got hold of you and that is how you will be eventually, it will take time but hang in there, you are well strong to get through it. Lots of posters in here have done it, you can, I know you can, just like the Little Engine that Could:-
There was a little railroad train with loads and loads of toys
All starting out to find a home with little girls and boys
And as that little railroad train began to chug along
The little engine up in front was heard to sing this song
Choo choo, choo choo, choo choo, choo choo, I feel so good today
Oh, clear the track, oh clickety clack, I?ll go my merry way
The little train went roaring on, so fast, it seemed to fly
Until it reached a mountain rising almost to the sky
The little engine moaned and groaned and huffed and puffed away
But halfway to the top it just gave up and seemed to say
I can't go on, I can't go on, I'm weary as can be
I can't go on, I can't go on, this job is not for me
The toys got out to push but all in vain alas, alack
And then a great big engine came a whistling down the track
They asked if it would kindly pull them up the mountain side
But with a high and mighty sneer it scornfully replied
don't bother me, don't bother me to pull the likes of you
Don't bother me, don't bother me, I've better things to do
The toys all started crying ?cause that engine was so mean
And then there came another one, the smallest ever seen
But though it seemed that she could hardly pull herself along
She hitched on to the train and as she pulled she sang this song
I think I can, I think I can, I think I have a plan
And I can do 'most anything if I only think I can
Then up that great big mountain with the cars all full of toys
And soon they reached the waiting arms of happy girls and boy
And though that ends the story it will do you lots of good
To take a lesson from the little engine that could
Just think you can, just think you can, just have that understood
And very soon you'll start to say, I always knew I could
I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could
I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could
I love children's songs, Puff the Magic Dragon still brings ear to my eyes.
I now have two skirts and five tote bags sewn and play Led Zepp at full blast.
There is light at the end of the tunnel but if anyone had told me this last year I would have cried or hit them over the head if I'd had the strength.
Hang on to that spirit!!