As if you haven’t got better things to do, you might find the enclosed PMR Consumer Review useful. But if you HAVE got better things to do, get out there and DO THEM!
To Set the Scene: if you’re an Internet ‘Consumer’, you’ll know what it’s like. You order one thing and before you know it you’ve clicked-on a couple of enticing ‘Add-ons’! The same thing happened when I ordered a frying pan for twenty quid on Amazon and ended up taking delivery of it PLUS an Onyx 8-seater Dining Table and Chair set, 112-piece canteen of Stainless Steel Cutlery (boxed, of course) and 3 Italian Candelabras. Total Cost: about 3 Grand. Trouble is, it’s only me and Tedski here at Benjamin Mansions. Oh well, maybe invite the neighbours around for dinner next week?
But back to The Plot.
Here are my Consumer Scores for PMR:
It couldn’t have been easier! My PMR more-or-less ordered itself! Well, when I say that, I admit to having been over-doing it Stress-wise and inadvertently ordered some Bacterial Pneumonia at around the same time - both of which probably auto-triggered my PMR ‘Purchase’?
Shipment / Ease of Delivery: 5/5
Again, I was amazed at how quickly my PMR arrived - almost as if by Magic!! Within 24 Hours it was on my Doorstep. Or.. to be more precise, on my Shoulders, Neck, Torso and Hips. It arrived so quickly that I literally COULDN’T GET OUT OF BED fast enough to start ‘enjoying’ it!!!
Simple and Unfussy! My PMR arrived in discreet, plain packaging and even my GP didn’t recognise what was inside! It was only my Rheumatologist who saw-through the wrapping (he has X-Ray Vision). But it was too late. I had already un-packed and used the Product, so my 3 month ‘No Quibble’ Return Guarantee was Void. Hey Ho!
PMR comes with Lots of things to get your head around!! Persistent Crippling Pain and Stiffness, Deathly Fatigue, Brain Fog, Flare-ups, Existential Angst, Feelings of Lost-Self, Frequent Irritability and / or Depression, Kubler-Ross Change Curve-style experiences, Terminal Bonkers-ness and Much More besides! I had never realised how many Hidden Extras come with PMR! What a (deleted expletive) Surprise!!
To be fair, my PMR has stood the Test of Time overall. In 3 and-a-half years of heavy use it’s been pretty dependable. That said, my model does show increasingly frequent signs of long-term Unreliability. For example: a few times recently it has failed to automatically start-up in the mornings. And I couldn’t use it at all this week - however hard I tried to kick-start it into Action. Oh well, I suppose everything wears-out eventually? But I’m getting used to doing without my previously reliable PMR Symptoms, with all of their twists and turns. It’s strange: I’d got to know my PMR’s little quirks - a bit like trying to coax an old and unreliable car into action. When PMR suddenly settles down without any ‘coaxing’, it doesn’t seem quite the same!
Product Maintenance: 1/5
The PMR Product Instructions are pretty vague. Also, I’m famous for NOT reading or following Instructions of any kind. So, I have sometimes made-up my own Maintenance Schedule during my period of PMR ownership. Yes, with liberal (at first) and judicious use of Steroid Tapering to try to keep the PMR Machine working smoothly and ‘under control’ I have to admit that, at times, the Preds made no difference to its operational efficiency. So, once or twice, I‘ve varied the standard Instructions and let the PMR Machine self-regulate (Disclaimer: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME). Just be careful not to maintain your PMR with Stress - it will make the Product behave even more erratically and possibly overload it. They don’t tell you about this on the packaging. In fact, they don’t tell you about lots of things on the packaging….
Product Issues & Recalls: 0/5
Unfortunately, and having shared my PMR Product / Consumer Experience with other Users, there seem to be (q.) ‘Shed-loads’!! No Consumer Protection, Variable Quality of Aftersales back-up (e.g. from GPs and other PMR Product Specialists), often Garbled and Confusing (or incorrect) Technical Information on ‘Tinternet’: and not forgetting a Host of possible ‘Fixes’ ranging from Tai-Chi and Reflexology to Dog Walking, Flower Picking, Infusing the Distilled Roots of some obscure Venesualan Artichoke Plant: and all manner of other Herbal, Medicinal, Experiential, Dietary, Holistic and Spiritual things in between. As the old saying goes: ‘You pays your money and takes your pick’.
If it helps: my Money’s on a glass-or two of The Red Stuff (or similar) and a good-old Grin. But that’s just my Maintenance Package…
The standard PMR Guarantee is 2 years: and, unlike most Consumer Products, often self-extends without you having to do anything. PMR can give ‘good’ (ha ha!) service ranging from a couple of years to Life, depending on the Consumer’s circumstances and context. Sorry…
Overall PMR Experience and VFM (Value for Money)?:
Well, it depends how you view PMR from a Consumer’s POV (Point of View)?
On one hand: although PMR is cheap, easy to order and usually delivered with lightning-like efficiency, it’s also a technically very complex product with a poor reputation for Reliability. PMR is designed for Older Consumers and tends to be more popular with Female Users.
And PMR is often difficult to fix. The Network of PMR Service Engineers and Specialists also seem to be currently at odds in terms of reaching any reliable Conclusions as to how to fix it. (If the likes of BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Nissan, Apple and a few other ‘Globals’ can’t get it right, what chance do Us Lot have?).
On the other hand: PMR can give you a surprisingly (and paradoxically?) ‘Positive’ Consumer Experience. PMR, like similar products, might just make some of Us Lot of it think about our Relationship with Ourselves in terms of how we use it?
Sometimes, a ‘Bad’ Consumer Experience holds the proverbial Mirror up to us - and might nudge us into re-assessing What Matters Most in our precious Lives. To quote an old saying: ‘DIS-Satisfaction is a great Driver of Change..’.
Now THAT might just be the Hidden Bonus in, let’s face it, the often Miserable PMR (or GCA) ‘Consumer Experience’, that we hadn’t ordered or expected? To quote another old saying: ‘There are Two Sides to every Coin’.
As I write this, Robert Persig’s acclaimed philosophical 1960s novel ‘Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance’ about such Paradoxes comes to Mind. Food for thought when dealing with our health conditions - or Life in General?
Either way, try to keep smiling on the PMR (and GCA) Consumer Experience. Of course, Fun and Laughter will never cure some illnesses or fix the Adversity and Pain that we all face in Life at some time or another. But a few Giggles might at least help us to cope along the way?
That’s it from me, for better or worse. NOW GET OUT THERE and do something useful rather than reading Consumer Surveys all day..
(p.s. No jokes about cardigans, slippers, dribbling and Werthers Originals please Aunties).