PMR and Coca Cola: My wife, Estela, who has been a... - PMRGCAuk

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PMR and Coca Cola

navejasjoe profile image
99 Replies

My wife, Estela, who has been a diabetic for over 15 years, has had PMR for 2 1/2 years, and has been on prednisone for a little over 2 years. She started at 15mg daily, and has "tapered" down to 11.5mg. Since taking pred, her weight gain has been enormous. She tries to exercise with Zumba classes twice a week, and her carb intake is within control. Even though she hates her moon face appearance, neither her rheumy nor I have been able to get through to her about dropping her Coca Cola "addiction". She doesn't drink a large quantity of it (a glass a day), but to help with diabetes and PMR, we feel that she basically needs to stop it completely.

How else can I try to get through to my wife? I've always gotten great advice from the people on this forum. Again, I'm asking for some advice on how to impress upon her what continued Coke intake is doing to her. For instance, could her tapering be faster if she stopped?

Thank you,

Joe

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PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador

"her carb intake is within control"

But what does that mean Joe? To lose weight I have to be down to under 50g utilisable carb a day - and that REALLY isn't much at all. I can maintain at a bit higher but any more and I gain.

And to be honest - I doubt you CAN persuade her. Her head has to be in the right place and she has to WANT to do it herself. Is this diet Coke or "full fat"?

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to PMRpro

It is not diet coke. It is the full fat coke.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to navejasjoe

Then her carb intake is no way "within control" - I don't know what you mean by a glass but one 12oz can of Coke has 39g sugar in it. That is more than I can take in a day if I want to lose weight - before I even start on vegetables and any other food with small amounts of carbs in them.

And above all - it is high fructose corn syrup. Which is one factor in developing insulin resistance.

But I honestly don't know how you can change it - she is in denial.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to PMRpro

Thank you PMRpro. I reread my post and I meant to say "carb intake other than Coke" was within control. But I see from your response that the 12oz can of Coke far than offsets anything else she is doing to limit other carbs.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to navejasjoe

I don't think people realise how much sugar is in these things. Maybe Pastit's idea might mean something to her? I just cannot imagine being diabetic and still drinking Coke.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to navejasjoe

This might make interesting reading

independent.co.uk/life-styl...

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to PMRpro

Good article. Thank you.

Pongo13 profile image
Pongo13 in reply to navejasjoe

I work with families and they seem to love Coca Cola and other sweetened drinks. Part of my job is to get them thinking about healthy life choices. I have An empty selection of bottles and cans (not just coke) with the sugar content weighed out in a clear, see-through bag. It certainly gets them thinking. Might be an idea for you!

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to Pongo13

Great idea. Someone else illustrated this yesterday for me. Thanks!

Fill a glass with sugar cubes and show her that when she drinks coca cola, that how much sugar she is drinking. In many ways I think sugar should be on the dangerous substances list, pleasant in small quantities, deadly in vast quantities. However this is my opinion and subject to scientific dispute.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to

Good idea, Pastit. Thank you,

Joe

Pongo13 profile image
Pongo13 in reply to navejasjoe

Apologies. I should have read on before responding as Pastit has already come up with my suggestion!

I have been trying to get my daughter and son-in-law to stop drinking it for years... have them down to a can a week! Good luck.

medicalnewstoday.com/articl...

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to

A can a week would be an accomplishment for my wife. Thanks for the article. I will share that with her.

Joe

Is her diabetes control regularly monitored? In uk, diabetics have Hba1c blood checks to determine if control is ok.

Does she feel that her carb intake is well controlled? If so, maybe she needs to revisit her understanding and ensure the sugar content of her just one glass is included. Ultimately, it's her choice; her current choice is potentially very damaging.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to

Every 3 months she has her A1C taken, but the last time she went it came up to a whopping 9.9 - and she has not done anything stupid that she hadn't done before (like drinking Coke). No more Coke than before, no more other carbs than before, no more prednisone than before.

piglette profile image
piglette

Perhaps you could introduce her to new drinks such as beetroot and apple juice so she does not have time to drink Coke. She is the one who must want to give coke up. It is obviously a habit she needs to change. Coca Cola is really just wasted carbs.

Does she take Metformin?

I am not sure Coca Cola would affect her pred reduction but it would probably help the weight side.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to piglette

She takes Metformin, Glimepiride, and Tradjenta. We used to consume orange and apple juices, but we cut back on those because of all the sugar. And I have gotten my wife to stop drinking Coke for up to 7 consecutive days (only water), but then she reverts back. And we do have some nasty arguments, but I agree, it is all up to her.

Odosmum profile image
Odosmum in reply to navejasjoe

Full fat coke is highly addictive on two fronts - sugar and caffeine. So in order to break the addiction, they both need to be replaced. Ordinary sugary fizzy drinks won't do because of the caffeine, and diet coke because of the sugar. I too know someone who is in complete denial of the harm she is doing to herself on 2 litres of the stuff per day. When the gp was investigating her high blood pressure, she truthfully said she didn't drink coffee, but neglected to say her caffeine intake is high. Anyway, as your wife's main issue is the sugar, so the diet coke route would obviously be the best route. If she is like many people I know and doesn't like the taste, offer a little bribery - after all, she needs to reduce the sugar but not necessarily all at once - maybe a biscuit or small chocolate bar with less sugar/carbs than she was consuming, so she gets used to the new flavoured drink. If That's not going to fly, my suggestion is a very strong sweetened coffee at coke time and unlimited sugar free flavoured fizzy water. The aim being to peruade her to make healthier choices. Good luck and never lose sight of the fact you are dealing with 2 addictions.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to Odosmum

Thank you, Odosmum. I appreciate all the advice. For now, I've been reading the responses I have received from all the great people on this forum, and it seems to have helped. It has been 3 full days since she had a Coke. It's a very tiny win, but I'll accept the baby steps at this point.

Joe

Rose54 profile image
Rose54

Hi piglette

Would beetroot juice and apple juice not raise blood sugars as well ?I know beetroot does my mums and she has to avoid any pure fruit juice .

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to Rose54

Not sure, but beetroot juice is supposed to help PMR and reduce blood pressure. Probably less sugar in it than Coca Cola and a healthier alternative. I was trying to go down in slow steps psychologically with something of interest! Suggesting water instead of Coca Cola may be too fast a step.

Rose54 profile image
Rose54 in reply to piglette

I love beetroot

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to Rose54

I hate beetroot unless pickled. A hangover from school when we used to have hard woody beetroot in lumpy white sauce.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to piglette

That sounds disgusting. My son has successfully grown beets in our (soon to be his in law as well as fact) garden this year and we had our first taste last week. I simply boiled them whole in a small amount of water, they were quite small (thinnings) then when cooked I slipped the skin off and we ate them without additions and it reminded me of how much I'd loved beets as a child, because they were sweet and tender.

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to HeronNS

My brother has been growing fantastic beetroot, he has been pickling and bottling it, I am very impressed.

Rose54 profile image
Rose54 in reply to piglette

I like them as HeronNS does

Don't ever eat them like I did straight out of the container like apples

door bell rung forgot I had red mouth ,teeth tongue and fingers

Jehovah witnesses at door I must have looked a sight .

Thier are some long ones around now cant remember variety but thier really lovely and sweet .

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to Rose54

Did you put off the Jeovah’s witnesses? My sister has a fantastic memory and can quote at length. When Jehovah’s witnesses come to the door she quotes back to their biblical quotes and they usually cannot get away fast enough.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to piglette

Maybe the beet juice could be diluted with a little sparkling mineral water? There would be colour and fizz and fewer calories. A slice of cucumber or lemon or lime or a sprig of mint also adds flavour to various drinks, as well as being pretty to look at.

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to HeronNS

Not sure it appeals to me! I notice that they tend to sell beetroot juice mixed with apple juice for some unknown reason.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to piglette

I've never had beet juice. I think a lot of things get mixed with apple juice because it's a lot cheaper than the other ingredient. Cranberry juice, for instance.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to HeronNS

In fact I no longer drink juice of any kind, unless you count about 8 ounces total of kombucha each week.

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to HeronNS

Same with me, I just drink common or garden water and the occasional sparkling water if I am out for a meal.

Rose54 profile image
Rose54

Hi

Diabetes UK tell you to avoid all even Zero Sugar

This is due to all the other stuff thay add to make it taste.

Have you done the coin test ?will show her how acidy it is .

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Rose54

Does that still work?

Rose54 profile image
Rose54 in reply to PMRpro

I cleaned a coin sixpence piece I found in the garden last year

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to Rose54

Not sure about the coin test, but I have shown her videos of how Coke is used to clean all kinds of stuff, things like rings around toilets.

piglette profile image
piglette

Coca Cola still seems to work on coins and HP sauce still cleans brass.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to piglette

Need the haha from FB, a thumbs up doesn't seem enough!

PMRCanada profile image
PMRCanada

This image may help.

facebook.com/10000812154771...

facebook.com/officialgymmem...

I was a “Coca Cola addict” for about 10 years as I had anemia, was suffering from fatigue, low iron/haemaglobin. I would put a can into a coffe cup each morning at work and get that energy rush to help me through the day. At one point before I had surgery I was drinking about 3 cans a day.

Since getting PMR and having knee issues (in part due to being overweight), I have made lifestyle changes including diet and gave up the coke. My husband thought he’d never see the day. Now I only consume it on special occasions along with some Canadian whisky over ice (maybe a couple times per year, especially during hockey playoffs).

I commend your efforts and concern, however this needs to be her priority. Good luck. Always nice to hear from the caregivers/partners.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to PMRCanada

Great visual, PMRCanada. I'll certainly share that with my wife. I commend you on your ability to knock off the addiction. Great that you made it your priority. Glad for your husband as well. Thanks for sharing,

Joe

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to PMRCanada

Is your low iron okay now?

PMRCanada profile image
PMRCanada in reply to HeronNS

Having a hysterectomy (partial), did the trick and my heavy cycles ended. Should have been done 7 years earlier but none of the 3 male Dr.’s overseeing me failed to send me for a routine ultrasound which would have clearly revealed multiple fibroids (2 that grew to size of an orange).

So much better now, I still enjoyed bbq steak (grass fed, small herd if possible), and I consume enough iron in the rest of my diet. Far cry from the days I had to give self injections of B12 and gobble iron pills.

Thanks for asking.

Leilagirl profile image
Leilagirl

Hi Joe.. In regards to Estela, the coke addiction is so real..it stays with you a very long time when you stop. The prednisone causes you to crave sugar so the coke is most likely satisfying her need there.

Like others have said the very smart Aunties , she has to get her head right.

So.. this doesn’t sound very nice but the coke will get her .. it’s deadly to her. Sugar is not our Friend with diabetes or PMR. The visuals effects are the best visual tool.. however .. replacing the need is something as well. Would an apple help or strawberries. Even a little whip cream isn’t to bad. Good luck . I am rooting for you both!!!

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to Leilagirl

Hi Leilagirl, - Thank you for telling it like it is, and for your words of encouragement. It certainly is going to take getting her head on straight. Just hope it comes sooner rather than later.

Joe

teesher profile image
teesher

Hi navejasjoe, when I had a bone scan some years ago (prior to pmr) the technician said that fizzy drinks, in particular the dark ones, were extremely bad for the bones. I hope you can get your wife to find an alternative.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to teesher

Appreciate that, Teesher. Thanks!

karools16 profile image
karools16

Coke is the dentist's enemy. What are her teeth like?

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to karools16

Denstist's enemy? Or friend - must send a lot of work their way! Ker-ching!!!!!!

karools16 profile image
karools16 in reply to PMRpro

Yep, too right!!

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to karools16

We do spend a lot on her dental work - I think they Coke is their friend!

Joaclp profile image
Joaclp

I had a coca cola dependency for years and only “ kicked the can” when, after 15 years on prednisone for several autoimmune conditions, I chose recently to lose weight because of fear of diabetes. Your wife’s situation is more dangerous and different from mine, but some of the physical and psychological factors may be the same. When I was working, I would deal with deadly late-day fatigue by having 1 or 2 cokes and maybe a cookie, so I could stay long hours to complete projects. On planes, I have always opted for coke to keep up energy during travel, and so on. Oooo! that caffeine, that sugar, that bubbly taste and pick-up! (Moreover, my mother grew up in the American South and remembered cokes from the soda fountain, when she was a girl and coke had no corn sugar and tasted good. I have nostalgia for those shared dime-store experiences.) Although I knew better, I never associated the sugar highs with prednisone and/or disease flares. I think it is called being in denial. I know someone with Type 1 diabetes who gives herself insulin shots so she can drink coke!

About 6 months ago, I started suffering from ramped-up neuropathy and had a mortal fear of being told I had any form of diabetes. I was on so many medications, I didn’t want another. My logic was dubious but for some reason, I went on a low-glycemic index diet and lost 60 lbs. I used online guidelines from the American Diabetic Association and other, more ‘alternative’ sources. Healthy fats and proteins have helped me have more energy, and some fats like nuts have the right ‘taste good’ factor as well. Like you, Navajasjoe, my husband is very kind and supportive, but his pleading did no good until I was ready to change. He made me angry when he said how disgusting coke was. I am also prickly about his concerns regarding prednisone. He does a lot of the cooking now and has to be nudged to include enough vegetables and limit fruit. This is another journey together.

Others here have given you good practical advice and tools to share with your wife. I wanted to give you my form of insight—some of my motivation may apply in some way to your wife. I hope this isn’t too much verbiage without any real solutions, isn’t like a feel-good magazine article. My very best wishes to you and your wife.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to Joaclp

Thank you so much for your reply. It definitely hits home. I have shared everyone's responses with her, and I am printing yours to emphasize the point. I could see how your situation runs parallel to ours. Really appreciate you taking the time to explain your situation. Best wishes to you and your husband as well.

Joe

karools16 profile image
karools16 in reply to Joaclp

Well done on that fantastic weight loss! You do seem disciplined. I think it has to come from a person themselves whether they give something up or not.

Hard for navesjoe, but nagging/arguing might make it worse.

Joaclp profile image
Joaclp in reply to karools16

Thank you for your kind words. I don't know if I've been disciplined, determined, pigheaded, dogged, compulsive or something else. I am still losing weight--there is a very resistant tummy and fat pad on my neck. In January, when I found I couldn't see a new intern (GP) until mid-April, I decided I wouldn't let her put me on Metformin just because I was overweight and had a fat stomach, wouldn't let her tell me I had metabolic syndrome. And on and on. I never could diet just because I would feel better and look better! Who knows what really makes us decide to do something?

karools16 profile image
karools16

I wish you well. It has to be your wife's choice. Must be hard for you.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to karools16

Very perceptive on your part karools16. I have lost patience and have stopped being nice. It has become a real point of contention, almost nagging on my part to get her to stop. I'm hoping to show her people's testimonials and recommendations to try to impress the importance and dangers and consequences of her behaviors. Thank you so much!

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to karools16

thanks for your understanding. With her limited English, I go with her to her doctor appointments, and it has become embarrassing for me to have them reprimand her. I told her if she doesn't change, I will no longer go to her appointments with her. I don't know if I really have the heart to do that, but I'll see.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to navejasjoe

I do hope she appreciates how concerned you are and how much you seek to help her. A lot of us would love to have a spouse who was as caring as you are.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to PMRpro

Thank you PRMpro.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS

Some years ago when my brother-in-law visited us he went out and bought his own supply of pop because I never buy it and he was kind of addicted to it. He is the youngest of three brothers. He is also the only one with a heart condition which required a stent to be inserted. He has given up soda pop since that operation. I believe it's been shown there is a connection between drinking soda pop and heart conditions.

There is no benefit to sugarfree soda pop, btw, as the body still gets insulin spikes from it.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to HeronNS

So glad your brother-in-law is doing better, and hoping that he stays off of that pop. Thank you for your reply.

Joe

GOOD_GRIEF profile image
GOOD_GRIEF

One 12 oz can of coke = about 6 oz of white sugar.

If even the graphic depiction of half a can of sugar doesn't deter her, there's not much else you can do.

Nagging, arguing, pleading, threatening and punishing isn't going to make it any easier for her to give it up.

Not even she knows what makes it so necessary to her. It might be the one "normal" thing in a sea of the abnormal. It might be the caffeine boost. It might be the sugar boost. It might be a form of rebellion against all the other restrictions imposed by her health. It might be one thing she feels she can control when nothing else is in her control.

All you can do is tell her that you love her, that you don't want to watch her suffer the consequences of long-term poorly controlled diabetes, that every one of those cokes is working to take her from you sooner, that you're willing to help her any way you can to give it up, and that you'll still love her when she's gone.

Then, let it go unless and until she brings it up.

You, too, have to come to a realization. You're not in control here. It's her health, her body and her life. Yes, her choices certainly have an impact on you, and those consequences will be borne by both of you, but those choices are hers to make. Whatever happens, it's not your responsibility, and it's not your fault.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to GOOD_GRIEF

Beautiful message, Good_Grief. Well said, filled with a lot of passion and emotion. Got a lump in my throat as I read it. I thank you so much!

Joe

Rimmy profile image
Rimmy

Hi - not sure if it has come up elsewhere here but the attraction to coke could be just as much about the effects of caffeine as anything - although obviously sugar content is the main concern - or is it ? I am wondering if good coffee (without sugar) wouldn't be a bad thing for a wee while at least as a substitute for coke. I know there are those who will object to the addictive 'qualities' of coffee as well - but I have found it a 'lifesaver' on those days I feel so very flat and fatigued. Clearly you can't go overboard and I won't debate 'healthy' amounts here but if feeling 'perkier' is part of the deal then maybe worth considering being more relaxed with this - at least in the interim ...

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Rimmy

Certainly true that people who try to give up coffee when they are used to drinking a lot have caffeine withdrawal problems, mainly headache - although there is probably 3 times as much in coffee as in coke. I was surprised to find diet coke has more caffeine in it.

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to PMRpro

I used to drink a vast amount of strong black coffee and then decided to give it up one day, I felt truly awful! Coke does contain less caffeine, but I suppose it depends on how much you drink. Coke contains 5 milligrams of caffeine per ounce, while the diet version contains just 3.75 milligrams per 12 ounces. This compares to anywhere from 12 to 30 milligrams of caffeine per ounce of coffee. I do remember as a child we went to Belgium and they were having police raids on clubs where people were drinking Coke. I think whatever was in it then has been removed.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to piglette

The nutritional value thing on the coke site said something like 32 for full-fat and 46 for diet!

The clue is in the name - coke had coca leaves and kola nuts. Whether there was enough to make you high is another question...

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to PMRpro

I am not sure if they were still using Coca leaves in the 1950s for coke in Belgium. Perhaps it was very high amounts of caffeine. The police were interested anyway.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to piglette

Or maybe they used the coke to disguise something else...

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to PMRpro

Ah ha!

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to piglette

Sugar content varies between countries. I wonder if caffeine does also.

beveragedaily.com/Article/2...

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to HeronNS

Good point.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to HeronNS

There was a furious article in German press recently because the UK has so much lower levels of sugar in their soft drinks - now. It is only recently the amounts allowed have been changed though.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to HeronNS

One thing for sure is that my wife does not like the taste of Coke when she is in her native country, Mexico, so she doesn't drink it there. She'll be there 10 days next month, so I'm hoping that is good news.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to navejasjoe

I wonder what it is about the soft drinks she particularly likes?

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to HeronNS

It's definitely the darker colas - Coke, Dr. Pepper, Pepsi - in that order. No root beer, no 7 UP, no Sprite . . . . . .

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to navejasjoe

Well they do have a more complex flavour I suppose. I never liked root beer as a kid, tastes like soap. When Mountain Dew appeared it was very popular and we all drank it. I understand it has a very high caffeine content, or at least it did. Probably a good fix, at only a dime a bottle from the dispenser in the residence, for 1960s university students! My fizzy drink of choice is now kombucha. Or sometimes, when out, sparkling mineral water. Beer goes down nicely too, but not often.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to HeronNS

Kombucha, hmmm, can't say I've ever heard of it. Is that in the UK?

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to navejasjoe

Kombucha is fermented tea. I buy it from our local farmers' market, but apparently it is easy to make, although after reading the Wikipedia article I think I would leave to the experts. Comes in all kinds of flavours. Ginger based ones taste better to me than ginger ale.

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to HeronNS

Hi Heron, I think it is the starter that is hard to make, like all starters. Then it is easy. You can buy starters Scobies I think they are called from Amazon in U.K. so probably available all over.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to piglette

The wikipedia article said that contaminated kombucha can even kill, and it's most likely to happen with home made version. That is the only fermented food I've heard of which comes with this caveat, as far as I know.

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to HeronNS

Sounds nasty!

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to navejasjoe

You can get it in Waitrose, probably other places too.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to piglette

In Canada we can buy kits from health products stores for making our own kombucha and kefir. And of course you can use good quality commercial yoghurt as a starter for yoghurt. In my old age I prefer to buy what someone else has made.

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to HeronNS

I know someone who has a starter for sourdough which is fifty years old.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to piglette

One of the treasures European housewives often brought with them to the New World, was their sourdough starter.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to piglette

Have you ever been the recipient of something I think it might be called Friendship Cake? You get a cup of starter, feed it, use some to make cake, give away a cup, and still have some left over to make more cake and more starter. We used to pass this around the neighbourhood when the kids were little, but the last time I got it I felt more like a victim than a happy recipient.

piglette profile image
piglette in reply to HeronNS

I have heard if it, but used to get ginger beer plants in my younger days. In the end your whole life was spent trying to drink vast amounts of ginger beer.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to piglette

The gift which keeps on giving....

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to Rimmy

It must not be the caffeine for my wife, as she has never cared for coffee and she is not much for chocolate. As far as the sugar, she will occasionally have some dessert but if it is too sweet, she'll put it aside. I love drinking coke myself but I've recently been told I'm prediabetic so I have pretty much given it up, and have totally not had any in front of my wife.

Odosmum profile image
Odosmum in reply to navejasjoe

I think it probably is because she doesn't get the caffeine any other way. It probably gives her a huge boost. Are caffeine pills still available? They might be a way forward.

yogabonnie profile image
yogabonnie

I was glad to see you said you told her you have asked this forum about her Coke addiction. I have to think as an adult woman she must make the decision herself. Arm her with the information everyone has given but then my advice is to lay off her. Addiction is addiction and if you were at an alanon meeting they would tell you to detach with love! I suspect she knows you love her and want to help but she also knows she is overweight and addicted to sugar it is all up to her to stop. Good luck. to you both!

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to yogabonnie

Thanks Yogabonnie, I've been fortunate not to have ever dealt with AA for a loved one, but I suspect what you say about detaching with love is a great formula.

Celebrant profile image
Celebrant

There is nothing quite as tempting as a man saying "don't" or surely you aren't going to. It brings out the "just watch me" in a woman. Tell her you love her but this is her problem--realize it has nothing to do with you and then step back if you possibly can. Reward only positive behaviour with praise and try not to reinforce negative behaviour--ie coke drinking with any attention.

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to Celebrant

Good advice, Celebrant! Thank you,

Joe

Mrs-CJ profile image
Mrs-CJ

Hi navejasjoe, fizzy drinks should be avoided if a person has bone loss issues like osteopenia or osteoporosis. Not sure if your wife has bone loss but I wanted to mention this. 😊

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe in reply to Mrs-CJ

That is interesting. My wife had osteoporosis at one time; when she no longer had that, she was diagnosed with osteopenia.

Mrs-CJ profile image
Mrs-CJ in reply to navejasjoe

I suspect you have it backwards. Usually you get osteopenia first....it’s a little bone loss, and then it usually changes to more serious bone loss which is called osteoporosis. Anyway, neither is good.

I can’t remember details about soda pop and bone loss but there should be lots of Dr Google info!

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Is it or is it not PMR

My PMR may have returned for the 4th time in 6 years in my shoulders and iliac crest/hip area. I...

Anyone with PMR progressed to RA?

rheumatologist has been pushing DMards from day one one. I have held our off. She now believes my...

PMR flare or just PMR?

Is this a “flare” or just more PMR. (My profile has the treatment/taper info.) I’m thinking I...

PMR and gastroenteritis

just over 2 years ago, started on 15mg prednisolone, now down to 5.5. Very slow tapering...

Will PMR never go away!

Hello everyone, I have had PMR for 9 years. Am now approaching 77 years. I have done all I can to...