The Ultimate Betrayal

Those that can't do, rant.

rantingsofamadwomanblog.com...

[CT-5012]

The monsters were never under the bed, THEY ARE INSIDE THE WARDROBE 😱

[Hidden in reply to CT-5012]

Hehehehehehehehe

[Insight329]

You have such a gift in writing!

There's a line in a Fleet Fox song (Naiads, Cassadies) that goes:

"Who stole the life from you?

Who turned you so against you?"

I always want to say "Self, can you answer this for me please regarding this auto-immune disorder? What was it that turned me against me?".

[Hidden in reply to Insight329]

Thank you. I so love that line: "Self, can you answer this for me please regarding this auto-immune disorder? What was it that turned me against me?"

[SnazzyD]

I hear your anguish. Part of the answer is in the list of life’s s**t at the end of your piece. Chuck in a few genes and external things and there’s the perfect storm. However, I think the Western version of the mind and body being in it together means the body has to be at the call of the mind’s whims, most of which are ego driven I reckon. It has to cope with all that we impose on it; it is a very one way street. It ‘lets us down’ when it can’t cope I think. Even our so called healthy diets seem to be an imposition or a way of controlling instead of loving or nurturing. Ill health sends us into a whirl of schedules, plans, chemicals, etc to beat it back to work again. We need to be our own body whisperer and when we hear what it has to say, we don’t tell it to shut up because it isn’t what we had planned. I’m currently grappling with having to let go of all that has given me identity, status and self esteem, as it is no longer compatible with what my body can cope with any more at the ripe old age of 54, no biggie then.

[Hidden in reply to SnazzyD]

Wow... insightful. Thank you.

[Hidden]

Phew!! No booze then on that list of self destruction! That's one I can cross off & sleep easier! Who's really in charge of my health then? God only knows! My brain conscious or unconscious seems to have a mind of it's own!!!! ATB

[Insight329]

My employer gives us Christmas to New Years off. I usually have a list a mile long on things I want to do, movies I want to go see, restaurants I want to eat at, people I want to see, etc.

This year, I practiced Romjul. I didn't know I was practicing it -- and actually didn't even know about it or what it was until I read this. But I practiced it - part in thanks to GCA and the really cold winter weather we were/are having. I have to say I quite enjoyed it. I think I may practice it next year, too.

metro.co.uk/2016/12/29/romj...

[Hidden in reply to Insight329]

'Romjul.' What a brilliant concept. Think I could go for that all year round. ' Mindful Munching' for 2018 it is!!

[Sandy1947]

How do you fight this fight...calmly with self love and appreciation. Oh yes, the pause button has been pressed on life as we know it. Over time we adjust to the major change of living life in the slow lane. We all must stop tripping over ourselves to achieve monumental goals that are no longer important.

[Janll in reply to Sandy1947]

Sandy, I like your thinking. To stop fighting and to listen and respond to what our bodies are saying takes courage and brings contentment. We may not want to be suffering with PMR or GCA or ? but if we are, we can still be just as valuable. Love ourselves ❤️ The goals we make for ourselves each day don’t have to be the same goals we made before.... we were struck down. Hugs to you all. You do lift my spirit with your words of encouragement. Jan xxx

[Sandy1947 in reply to Janll]

Jan

So happy to lift your spirits. In reading On Grief and Grieving, I learn that re-telling and sharing our stories helps dissipate the pain little by little. This forum allows us the opportunity not just to say I’m fine when asked how we feel. Non sufferers simply don’t want the truth or gory details.

[Jackoh]

Yes concur with a lot of what has been said before. Just struck by your blog mamaci1 the " fighting" talk. Understand that, especially when just diagnosed and everything up in the air. I feel, just try working at "flowing"instead of "fighting" - it may help.