Disability?

[Writerinpain]

I have been dealing with my pelvic floor spasms for two years and after many doctors and medications I am on my third round of trigger point injections that are not helping. I am getting divorced because of my husband forcing me to have sex even though I was in pain, therefore delaying my healing and increasing my stress. With the divorce, he is saying I need to get a full-time job but I am in so much pain all the time. Has anyone filed for disability? I was really hoping these trigger point shots would work, but they are not and with all this stress I am literally not doing well at all.

[cattailabroad]

First, if you are in the US, your ex-husband cannot make you get a full time job to prevent his having to pay alimony. It sounds like your husband was a bully at best and didn't have your best interests in mind. Don't let him bully you out of your rights in the divorce. Here in the States I think you can get a mediator to negotiate the divorce and make sure it is fair. I know my friend had one and that the judge would not sign the divorce agreements if they were not fair to both parties, basically when the husband was refusing to fair split of assets and/or alimony.

I have not gotten disability but I have seen in my records that they rated my degree of disability due to my pelvic pain. So this makes me think it is possible that it qualifies. I know that the disability process is confusing and difficult to navigate and have no other insights to contribute.

The rest is just offering support and suggestions of how you can maybe reduce your pain through this stressful time, maybe you have already done all of this but I figured I would share what has worked for me through my own rocky path through chronic pelvic pain.

However, hopefully your pain will improve after getting out of your situation. Sexual abuse is a major trigger for pelvic pain and can hinder the effectiveness of therapies.

Are you seeing a pelvic physical therapist? I find so much comfort and validation from pelvic PTs because they have so much more time to spend with you and understand your pain. They are also more familiar with trauma informed care.

I know suggesting breathing exercises sounds dismissive and minimizing of your pain but they can be extremely helpful in reducing spasms and giving temporary relief. Did your doctor give you any muscle relaxers or anti-spasmotics? It was 2 years in and 1 year after my surgery before a new doctor finally offered me any pain medication. Now I take a daily anti-inflammatory that is easier on my stomach than all of the ibuprofen I was taking and have an anti-spasmotic/muscle relaxer to take when things get bad.

I very much understand how severe the pain can can be because I have spent many mornings curled up in a ball in tears before surgery and I have had chronic moderate pelvic pain ever since. Pelvic floor breathing and yoga nidra relaxation videos on youtube literally got me through the worst of it all. The yoga is not exercise but the process of getting yourself as comfortable as possible and very relaxed and progressively relax your whole body. This would bring me peace and temporary relief and reduced stress and felt very good while I was doing it. And its free!

[Writerinpain in reply to cattailabroad]

Thank you for your response! At night I have taken Amitriptyline 25 mg for a year and a half with no change and they just upped it to 50 mg. I also take a muscle relaxer for my knee as the spasms radiate down my leg. I have an appt with a pain specialist on Oct 19th and the Urogyo wanted to do the Botox shots but they are not covered by my insurance so $750 a unit is not something I can afford. So they are trying to see what else they can do since the three trigger point shots did nothing. It is so frustrating that I am sitting here in pain and can’t even really move forward because of it. I do yoga three times a week and yes, the breathing does help. But the pain is constant and any anxiety just increases it. I really wish I didn’t live in a no fault state so my ex could be forced to take care of me fully forever for leaving me in such pain. Knowing I can’t get the next shots and no pain specialist until late October has increased my pain a lot today. I will look into the disability after we decide divorce/alimony because I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot by getting it and letting him get off Scott free. I will look into the breathing you mentioned. It might be what we already do in class, so I just need to do more at home. Thank you !

[Writerinpain in reply to cattailabroad]

I did physical therapy but it only caused me so much more pain so no more of that. I was on ice packs every time and in tears.