College

[GwenVG]

I’ve been accepted to college! As of right now I believe I will be going to college in New York. (As I’ve been accepted to 3 so far).

I have been thinking about my rooming situation and if I should request a private room due to my medical issues. But I also don’t want to isolate myself.

Does anyone have any advice? Or did anyone else experience this?

[branch9]

Hi, Gwen,

Congratulations!!! So glad your life is moving forward!

When my daughter went to college, she attended the university right here in our home town. She decided to live at home and commute that first year (not my idea). She soon regretted it, as she saw friendships forming in the dorms, and she felt she missed out on an important aspect of forming social groups. However, about a month later, she observed everyone complaining constantly about roommate problems. And that difficulty remained the norm for the rest of the year. She was so glad not to be entrenched in roommate drama. Her second year, she got an apartment with an old friend from elementary and high school, so you could look at this as isolation, too. But she chose this roommate carefully. They were friends, but not close friends. They had similar values concerning studying, quiet time, and neatness. That's why they chose each other, and they remained compatible for all three years. They did a bit of socializing, but they mostly went out with other friend groups. She ultimately found her main friend group, from people she met in class. You also meet friends through the many campus groups. So a private room is not necessarily isolating. You will still be in contact all over campus, as well as your dorm or apartment building. Isolation can happen more through your mental state. If you shun all social contact opportunities, that is more the issue than the room.

I think I told you that my first dorm roommate caused me to have acute health problems - she stayed up all night, with the lights on and music playing, and having friends in, and smoking! (Back in the day when smoking was the norm everywhere). I never got any sleep, and I got very sick. When I sought help at all levels of college authorities, they refused to let me move into an empty room on my floor, because they claimed I hadn't made sufficient effort to adjust. They said I was supposed to sleep during the day in order to accommodate her. What a load of ****! Like, I guess I was supposed to sleep through all my classes?!?!

I definitely think you should seek a private room. This also allows you to do your lung therapy privately. You need rest, which is hard to get for any college kid. College is filled with distractions, and you will have to manage this. Students are often sleep-deprived, just based on the demands of their courses, working late into the night - for sure, your roommates would do this. If you can at least control your sleep and study space, that is essential. It will give you a solid launching pad. You will make friends by meeting kids in class. You might consider attending campus events or organizations that are out of your normal sphere. This will help you meet a wider range of people, not just like-minded people.

Good luck with all your decisions and plans, Gwen!

Anne Marie

[fionac66]

Hi ... there is some advice on our website but it is UK based advice. pcdsupport.org.uk/what-is-p...

My son's both had private rooms for disabled students - which meant they had big bathrooms which they didn't have to share and also were big enough to not stay damp all day.

Good luck at college!!

[TerryBun Administrator]

Not sure about other countries, but in the UK most dorms are usually individual rooms, often with a central kitchen hub and sometimes lounge area. They are usually pretty small so I know that often if the student has additional needs then they can request a larger room, usually this would require a doctor's letter to qualify. Seeing as you need to do chest physio at least twice a day, then you shouldn't have too much of a problem getting one of those rooms, should they be available. A bit of privacy will help you relax a bit more when you are clearing your chest and will give you somewhere to escape to should you be having a difficult day.

Good luck.