Thursday's Thoughts

[DonnaBoll]

"if there's anything I can do , please just ask"

How many times have you said this to a friend over lunch, leaving someone's home, after visiting someone in the hospital or even a guest in your own home? Too many to count I have no doubt.

Do you mean it? Will you help them in any way you can? Of course, you will! It is a friend to friend pact that we so often offer without thinking twice about it. .

I wonder why it's so hard for some of us (myself included) to ask for help.

Do we think they won't help us? Do you think they really didn't mean it when they offered? Do you feel they are too busy themselves? Do you think they may think you are weak if you ask?

Why is it we will drop everything to help a friend. However, asking them for help can be so different. We might feel we are bothering them. Asking our own kids, how often can we feel "they are busy with their own lives"?

Most friends want to help. They want to feel that you can count on them when you need something. They are happy to help because it gives them a sense of purpose. It makes them feel good to know you love them enough to even ask them. Give them that chance to show they love you. They want to help but can't if dont' ask.

Food for thought I hope.... I would love to hear some of your take on this. Is it easy for you to ask for help.? Why isn't it at times though? What keeps us from not taking someone up on it when they say " if there's anything I can do, please just ask".

Have a good day!

Donna

[DebatDG9]

exactly right! I love helping other people but HATE asking for myself - I suppose in a sense it’s admitting defeat and failure. But also I’m afraid to use up their goodwill and wait until I REALLY need their help 🤔

[DonnaBoll Administrator in reply to DebatDG9]

I really think when we find ourselves thinking that if we ask for help it's admitting defeat or failure try to think of it as when someone asks you for help of any kind do you feel they are a 'failure'? I have no doubt you do not. We make a double standard for ourselves - I do the same thing. We have to let them show how much they care for us by letting them help us. It gives them a sense of purpose and I have no doubt they feel almost honored when you ask THEM.