Hi, so this is a slightly off piste post so I apologise if its not for this board.
My son for several years has needed b12 injections, not to the extent some of you guys but certainly its very noticeable if he hasnt been taking them for more than 3 weeks...the effects are obvious for his family.
He gets very irritable over not much, very low, lacking any motivation and struggles to sleep and then sleeps to much etc...obviously he also has the tingly fingers, stomach pains etc aswell.
So cut a long story short, his mood for the last few months has gone down hill dramatically and we know now he hasnt been doing his injections.
3 weeks ago we (Im his Mum, hes 25) had a minor arguement about some name calling directed at me which i didnt appreciate and he has walked out of the family home with no contact since.
He has no cash, no clothes, no job (he works in the family business), no car, no i'd.
Police couldnt care less because hes 25 and not a drug taker etc and quite frankly are pretty useless. Ive explained the mental health issues may well be down to him not taking his B12 and all i got was hes a big boy he can go get some b12 tablets!...despite me explaining we import ampoules from Germany.
So can I ask...would low B12 make somebody who is generally super sensible and has never done anything like this before to have some sort of episode...he has walked away from his family, business, horses and his pride and joy his classic car hes doing up...over to you!
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Worksop1
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I am dreadfully sorry to read of this. The answer is yes, lack of B12 can cause a number of mental health issues from irritability, depression, visual disturbances, paranoia, aggression. As well as the physical symptoms.
So, you need a plan on how to find him before he gets sicker. He has pretty much nothing on him. Maybe a mobile phone or a bank card ? Contact his friends and ask them. Do you know what he was last wearing ? If you use FaceBook, TikTok or someone you are close to uses it then it is worth posting on there. The most important thing is how you phrase it. If an insulin dependent diabetic has walked out without their medication, people understand that and get on board.
If doctors do not understand PA/B12D then how are the police and general population ? So, something along the lines of We have not seen my son for 3 weeks, he was last wearing whatever. He has a serious illness which requires regular injections. He may be confused or frightened. Please contact (whoever), if you have seen him. Post a photo of him.
Ty, we are contacting as many people as we can but nobody has seen him or knows anything, weve even got taxi drivers, bus drivers etc looking for him, hes 6foot2 so quite easy to spot...it breaks me to think he feels this low/confused that he can walk away from EVERYTHING and not at least make some form of contact, he hasnt even replied to messages etc from the Police...his fb is getting no response, not even reading messages from friends. Ive filed a complaint with the police who have him down as a 25 year old bloke who just dosent want to talk to his Mum and took him off the missing list after 3 days despite no contact being made...all weve had is an Im ok message to his sister, literally 2 words, which is enough for them to tell me hes ok and its not a crime to walk away from your family and all your possesions!
No there not being seen, it shows when they have been...and were not sure it was even him who replied 'im ok' as we think his fb has either been hacked or being targeted...lots of friends from the list have gone all of a sudden and 4 randoms are leaving angry emojis on his posts, riding one of his horses etc...nothing that would annoy anybody and they arent on his fb so its very peculiar...im just hoping that he is being looked after by somebody who will realise he needs help.
Low B12 can affect one mentally - I honestly do know , having been there . I remember having a terrible row over a trifle ,with my daughter who had come from Germany to visit me ,. This was when my B12 was very low and I hadn’t been able to get a diagnosis . Totally out of proportion , and totally out of character. I hope that your son gets in touch , and gets his B12 injection .soon .
I’m sorry that you are going through this . You had a good response from Narwhal 10.
Yes ty Im grateful for the clarification, its what I already know really but nice to hear it from other people, I just wish people would listen when you try to explain how serious it can be. I was basically accused of being an over protective mother of a 25 year old man who can do what he likes...even if it is totally out of character and he has no money etc
Yes, you are his mum but in this instance you need to change your approach. He is male, a totally different gender, has a totally different way of thinking and mind set. Plus, is a different generation. Your son has B12D, Coeliac Disease which could mean he is deficient in other essential amino acids and testicular cancer.
When did he text his sister ? Lots of friends from his Facebook list have gone all of a sudden because HE has deleted them. No, it is not a crime to walk away from your home, your family, your friends, your animals nor your possessions. You need to become the detective, tracing his steps, where he might have gone. It is pointless giving a long explanation of B12 deficiency.
Oi, seen him, FLASH, no, Ta. Next. Worksop1, there is no easy way that I can explain this, many of us know quite a bit about PA/B12D. Your son may have thoughts to harm himself. I am extremely sorry to tell you that.
It is nice to hope that he is being looked after by somebody who will realise he needs help. He could actually be in a police cell and they have no clue who he is. Nor does he. He could be detained in a mental hospital because he has become delusional. They also would not have a clue that he was B12 deficient. He could be sat on top of a bridge waiting for the right moment. Either way, it is a lot of could be’s.
He is 25 years old and his illnesses are a massive burden for him.
Ive contacted all his friends, nobody has heard from him or has any clues nor do any of the family...and the weird thing is his sister who he hasnt spoken to, had blocked on social media and is a habitual liar (sorry i know that sounds horrible but its true) cant actually show any proof to the police he did reply 'im ok'. Ive phoned all the hospitals, the police have checked he isnt in custody etc and his gp has also sent him text messages. He left with NOTHING and the police wont help us.
sorry to hear this. I am actually kinda where your son is at the moment mentally. I’ve been injecting for 3 weeks and have hit a slump, maybe reversing out symptoms?! My mood has plummeted. I feel so tired like exhausted and low. People’s (my partners) patience is running low, and I keep thinking I wish I could disappear as I feel a burden as she is running the business etc without me. I hope you find him.
Are you getting folic acid, magnesium and vitamin D too? This crappy summer is not helping. I have perpetual headaches. Just got back taking vitamin D to see if that helps. Big hugs.
It could be that there is, of course, a physiological dimension to his mental state and he needs regular B12. It also occurs to me that he is 25 and he has a condition that affects not only what he can do but also that his life is and feels limited for a young person. He is bound to be angry about what life has dealt him. So often that comes with depression and that is indicated from what you say. I think you can only wait for him to come home and be there for him with more distance and an enhanced understanding. And, of course, encouraging him to take his B12.
I think he does feel like he's not the same as his friends and yes you could well be very right in what your saying...its not factually correct as most people would look at his life and thinks its pretty cushy tbh but if your feeling negative and depressed the last thing you want is everybody telling you how lucky you are. I'm pretty good at seeing how things can look and feel from a different perspective...what I'm really struggling with is the total lack of any form of contact between not only me (I may well be the enemy in his head atm) but all his friends, grandma who he lives with and is close with...that he can't even respond to them I find very hard to fathom. But who knows, I just hope he makes contact, not sure my mother at 78 can have to many more sleepless nights.
Could you ask help from places like the Samaritans? They might have a much better idea and more experience of how to deal with a missing person with mental health problems.
I’m sorry your family is going through this and my heart goes out to you. I went off injections for three months without understanding the repercussions because I knew nothing about b12 deficiency and PA. Not only did I feel like I was losing my mind, my brain was not functioning well enough to understand that I needed to go back on injections. I believed I could manage on high dose sublingual, despite getting sicker and sicker. Finally, I was so incredibly sick that I went to my primary care physician and she gave me an injection. I would never have understood the destruction that b12 deficiency can cause had I not recovered and had that perspective.
My mental health is so closely tied to b12 levels that even a dip in levels can affect me. I need weekly injections to properly function. Hopefully, you can find your son and get him help. In the US, if a relative can convince a magistrate that their loved one is sick and in danger, they can issue an order for them to be picked up by police and be detained for a psych evaluation. Anything similar where you are? Best of luck to you. I hope you find him.
I’m so sorry to hear about your son’s struggles with his B12 and mental health, and your superwoman efforts to help him as his mum.
My B12 deficiency definitely impacted my mental health - I felt anxious about things I’ve never felt anxious about in my life, I felt out of control and helpless and hopeless. I contacted lifeline a number of times.
Since increasing the number of injections, my anxiety has decreased. It creeps back in if I leave the gap between injections too long. It’s an insidious beast.
I hope your son can get the help that he needs. I’ll be praying for him and for you!
having read through the posts I am so sorry to hear about your son. I totally understand your fear for his wellbeing. could go back to the police … and explain the lack of contact with everyone….
This sounds dreadful. Would there be any truck in contacting local mental health services, they might be able to raise concerns with the police that are taken more seriously. maybe phone their crisis line or your MP or even the local papers.
I know this is a few days old - I really hope you have found him and he’s able to get back on the injections.
I just wanted to say that if not - and if you haven’t already - please try texting him on a platform where he knows you CAN’T see whether he’s read it or not. Frustrating for you not knowing, but the fact that otherwise he knows you know he’s seen it can be too much pressure. Don’t bombard him, but regular messages with no pressure to reply. But I really hope you have him home already.
Just to let everybody know we have found him, he is having a serious mental health episode and is extremly paranoid, aggresive (towards me) and very irrational but has what I believe to be a fairly safe place to stay. He has told them a lot of deluded nonesense which they believed but we are now speaking and they are aware that B12 is far more than just a nutritional requirement and has serious consequences, he had told them it wasnt a major deal and he just feels a bit tired if he gets low. We will see what the next few months bring but with how he is feeling towards the family etc its best if he gets help elsewhere...its a tough pill to swallow but sometimes family are not the right people to help
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