This dilemma was better expressed by someone else on this forum. As often happens something resonates and I mull it over and can not give credit where credit is due.
When under supplementing by injecting 1.5 mg Hydroxocobalamin once a day and taking 6 mg sublingual adenosylcobalamin I could only tell I was improving monthly from supplementation.
When under undersuplimeting by injecting 1 mg Hydroxocobalamin three times a day and 6 mg sublingual three times day I could tell I was improving from supplementation biweekly. Once I made the discovery that the same amount administered more frequently was more effective I could tell weekly that my supplementation changes were effective.
As I gradually increased to my current supplementation: Current Trial (5 Days); 1.5mg methylcobalamin 3mg/ml, 1.5mg adenosylcobalamin 3mg/ml, 1mg hydroxocobalamin 1mg/ml. SC injection 6 times a day including setting an alarm to inject at night. 50 mg B6 in the form of P-5-P or pain from peripheral neuropathy returns. I can now differentiate between improvement from more effective supplementation and life.
I can also differentiate from life and the strain on my body from more effective supplementation in a few days although I typically wait 7 days to be more confident in my information.
I accepted that the roller coaster I experienced was necessary and when it was the effect of under supplementation. Bad information. That B12 deficiency necessarily results in low energy is also bad information.
I am not yet comfortable with predicting the effect what changes I make in my life will have. I am dealing with the fear of once again being on the roller coaster of under supplementing. I am working on that and processing the fear. It is hard work. Pretty much the goal is to be tired when stressing my body and not experiencing the effect of under supplementation.
I still sometimes experience fading at the end of the day. Fading comes over me suddenly and unexpectedly. That used to happen at 11 am and now is around 7 pm sometimes.
I am currently working on getting sun energy after being deprived and that is going as expected. I will be adding cold water immersions and then swimming and am hopeful I will be able to discern the effect of those changes. We will see.
My next trial is with Thiamine in the form of Benfotiamine and that is an unknown. My experience with B6 was immediate improvement and emotionally I am hoping for the same with Benfotiamine.
Although I met my goal of not crashing this winter I did have a downturn and that is on my mind. Intellectually I know it is likely I will not experience a downturn next winter or at least not as severe. I know intellectually that it is best I experience the few days of downturn when improving supplementation. It is hard emotionally not to go with what I experience now and hope improvement will happen with time.
Once I have the results of supplementing Benfotiamine and perhaps once again injecting B6 my next trials will be to increase concentrations which I just discovered is much more effective even at the same amounts. Then I will try eliminating hydroxocobalamin.
As I write I came to understand I could write out how I intend to proceed, expected results and time frames. Knowing what you are doing lends itself to that. It would be more of a treatment plan than a list of trials. I do not want to as that would be to clear what I am facing. I choose to stay willfully ignorant and hope for better results than I am likely to attain. Least I never went with the delusional route. : )
I read on this forum that it was expected that healing could only be obtained to a point about 3 years prior to starting supplementation. That is incorrect. It may be correct for under supplementation. I starting having pain in my floating ribs in 1963 and that continued intermittently until a few months ago.
Life long B12 deficiency seems to require different treatment and it matters little to me that some improvement can be experienced at 1 mg EOD or that it 'works' for some people. It seems that effective treatment can lead to personal growth that was not possible physically my whole life.
