Hello all you wonderful people!
I joined the forums a few weeks back when I discovered I had a B12 deficiency and doctor made an emergency appointment for me to get my first loading injection followed by 5 more over the next couple of weeks, last one was 31st August.
Loading doses - WOW, what a revelation - I've suffered from anxiety and depression for many years and never really known why as I don't see myself as having a particularly tough life and whenever they've tried anti-depressants I've taken myself off them after a few months cos they just rendered me useless, second time I was just shaking and so stopped them. When I got my B12 shots though it was like night and day - I'd spiralled down a lot over the last couple of years and ended up back living in my 80 year old dad's spare room at the age of 45 practically bed-ridden for a year waking up every day thinking how bad a human being I was. I went through days when I forgot who I was and what I liked so I wrote notes down like swimming, cycling, etc. - all now I can see is this "brain fog" people talk about.
I had a lot of headaches over the summer and then my vision got a bit blurry and I think that's what led the doc to test me for B12, I'm so glad she did as I cannot believe this seems to be the issue I've been trying to figure out for many years - was it me that was wrong? my business? No, it's B12!!
Now I'm linking it back to a lot of things and not knowing what's connected and what's not - my mother's spent a lot of her life being ill and was diagnosed with Parkinsons once and says she was in a medical journal for being the only person to recover fully from it but I see Parkinsons is another misdiagnosis of B12 deficiency. Currently she's recovered from breast cancer but battling high blood platelet levels which I read could be a cause of the treatments she's had previously and now she's worried the specialist who's treating her isn't a specialist cos she can't find him on the net cos he prescribed her this 'last chance' chemo drug then didn't sign the papers so that's all up in the air but her signs are all B12 IMHO. I remember visiting her in hospital as a kid when she had bad migrains affected by lights and so on.
I used to get worse headaches as a kid and remember fluorescent lights affected me, I had that experience again today at the supermarket and it was raining so thinking it's a pressure thing. I've had headaches again for the last few days and my blurry vision is pretty much all the time now so I've booked up an appointment with a different doctor this time round for Wednesday - the last doctor didn't tell me what was going on, I asked one of the nurses who injected me what happens next and she said you get injected every three months and I asked for how long and she just shrugged her shoulders, which was nice. So I asked the next one and she said I get levels checked in a year to see if it worked or not but I'm not waiting that long. When I was on the loading doses there were some days I felt what I'd call "normal" - one day I was particularly "high" and cycled 10 miles and then walked another 5 later on that day. That's all I've ever wanted to feel - normal lol!
I've been looking back over my life on things - even little things like my mum saying yeah my sis was all energetic pushing me around but I was happy to just lay in the pram. At school I was told I was intelligent but lazy. I've never thought of myself as lazy though, just trapped inside a lazy body lol! I love when I get out cycling and swimming and gym but I couldn't keep it going before because of the mood thing. I've always had weight issues and managed to sort it out once ten years ago when I cut out all carbs.
Anyway I digress - I've been doing a lot of reading and read about the guidelines which say they shouldn't stop if there's neurological issues until improvements stop so I was going to mention this to the doctor on weds, he was the green party candidate so hoping he's a bit more amenable to listening!
I really hate the idea of self-injecting but I'm eager not to fall back down again - I'm feeling OK at the moment but feel I've had a glimpse of "the good life" and want it back! I'm also extremely worried about my sight as, well, it's my sight!
I've always been paranoid about having some kind of brain tumour, perhaps it's just the B12. I have noticed the last couple of days I've been a little more paranoid about stuff so am worried the B12 is just leaving straight away, so I thought I'd pluck up the courage and post here - I've made a list of stuff to mention to the doc on Weds - get my levels if I can, folate is an ingredient but I don't really understand that one yet, and the guidelines re loading doses. Anything else I should ask/look out for/do? Daily headaches a pain, blurred vision is annoying, I just want to get on with life!
Thanks for being here!
p.s. I'm beginning to realise just how much I've built up my entire life around being able to cope with the fact that I know some days I can't cope, from cooking lots of chilli up so I know I have food to being self-employed as I know I don't do well in office situations, now I know that's more down to the paranoia side of things as always 'feeling the vibe', which in most offices suck badly lol!