I am all in favour of pity parties

I have had a number of pity parties, sometimes I am the only guest. However, I am sure if we all search hard enough, however bad we feel, we can come up with at least one positive thing in our lives.

I need a good upward push at the moment and feel that it would be good if we could share at least one good thing in our lives. It may be the person who helps us, raindrops falling off leaves, the song of a blackbird, grandchildren - the list of these sometimes insignificant things is endless.

Lets have a Positive party and see if we can help each other out of the doldrums.

42 Replies

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  • I don't know how much it helps to have a pity party for one or more, I think the more the scarrier. When this starts to get to me and believe me it does I just remember it can always be worse, a cliche' I know, but I was give the news on PD early in Aug last year, about the same time as a younger friend of mine (I'm 60) was diagnosised with terminal prostate cancer, it had spread all through his body. Another much younger friend has lukiemia also terminal and he has young kids, for these guys I'll shead a tear. My grand father had PD before levedopa was developed, and so much headway has been made that I'll take this over most anything else, cause it's aleays gonna be something.

  • When you hear of people like the ones you mention, I know things could be a lot worse for me. As you say, most of us get something.

  • olpilot,

    I am with you 100% !!!! I have always said,"when pople try to give me sympathy", "Hey it could be so much worse !!! I had two best friends, we were called the "Golden Girls", one died of ALS, and the other has had strokes and strokes, is in a nursing home and does not know me anymore........

    AND I also understand COURT, but I would change the name as I don't like the word PITY. we want some positive uplifting, good news, a joke what ever.......... hmmmmmmm uplifting....we could call it the "BRA" PARTY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    LET'S ALL JUST KEEP HAVING "PMA" POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE !!!!!

  • good point! realizing there are worse things keeps me going too.

  • The company of my animals, this website, the birth of my first grandchild a month ago, that I was able to be there by flying from FL to CA and back by myself with just the help of wheelchair porters to get around in the airports. Never thought I'd travel alone again after a debacle in 2008. My husband, cousin, and daughter didn't want me to go alone. We were ready for the worst and were pleasantly surprised at how smoothly things went.

  • You really do have a lot of good things to think about, especially the arrival of your first grandchild. I have two grandaughters and a grandson due end of July. They are truly a blessing. You did really well travelling on your own. Not sure I would be confident enough.

  • Admiration to you all we are going to bed now and hopeing pd will not interfere with our sleep as it usually does but sleep well if you can and thanks for sharing xxx good night god bless xx

  • Hi Sue,

    I think this is an excellent idea!

    Today I didn't want to go to cardiac rehab and was trying to talk myself out of exercising....didn't feel good, didn't sleep well, tired, etc. I made myself go while inside I was kicking and screaming the entire time. As I was walking in I noticed a frail, wheelchair bound lady being loaded in a nursing home van, and at that moment I thought to myself how thankful I was that I could walk into the building with my own two legs and exercise. I am sure, given a choice, that little lady would have loved to be mobile and able to exercise. It was an "in your face" moment for me. You can always look around and see someone worse off. My time at rehab took on a different meaning....one of much gratitude.

    Cheri :)

  • Hi Cheri

    Glad you liked this post. Yes, there is always someone far worse than we are and I think it is good to remember this sometimes. I am afraid I often forget this. Like you, I can still get around and must start exercising again as I feel this is so important, If only, it would stop raining here.

    Sue :-)

  • Cheri

    Bravo, I could not ahve said it better !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • have or ahve or vhae or ehva :-)

  • Hi Sue--mornings spent sipping a cup of coffee outside while listening to the birds sing and chatter

    Chris

  • Hi Chris

    Lovely to be back in touch again and see your name. Could not keep away, but am not going to post so often in order to concentrate on other things. But I have missed posting so you will not get rid of me completely.

    Hope things are ok with you.

    Sue :-)

  • Might feel the need to go back to pity party today. Only joking. Today is my birthday and heard last night that my son and his family are stuck in Turkey and will not be back until probably late tonight. We were going out for a meal and so far I am hoping this is one of my better days.

    Not to worry as long as they get back safely nothing else matters. Must buck myself up. Am sure they are shattered. Baby due end of July, nearly four year old daughter, who can be a handful, and stuck in an airport in Turkey waiting for hotel for night.

    Sue

  • Do have a happy birthday. Keep celebrating until you are satisfied. Hope all arrive safely.

  • Hope they are on the plane now. My son had another battle this morning over a charge for excess luggage. What a rotten end to a lovely holiday. They were in Turkey attending my daughter in law's sister's wedding. Not sure whether this makes sense.

    Not one of my better birthdays!! Thanks for your good wishes.

  • Never heard of pity parties till I joined this site.

    It really is no use feeling self pity. I know somethimes it is difficult not to.

    However, there is always someopne out there worse off.

    I'm pretty thankful every morning I wake up to find myself living.

    When I wake up and find my self dead then I shall start worrying.

    Until then I will keep my sense of humour, and do my voluntary day work with people worse off than me.

    Stop feeling self pity, get out there and do something useful for somoene else.

  • I did not post the item on pity parties as I never feel self pity myself, but can understand that others do.

    I lead an active life, including caring for two young grandaughters on a regular basis, walking two dogs, gardening etc. I do these as and when I can. I know that there are a number of people a lot worse off than I am, but don't think you are in a position to accuse me of self pity as you know nothing about me or my circumstances.

    My post was made in order to raise the spirits of those people who may be feeling down, as we all do at times and was in no way intended to include my own particular feelings.

  • I think you will find in my post that I have not accused you personally of self pity,I would not do that. You put the post up and did say you were often the only person at the pity party.

    I take it you wished people to make comments on the post

    Not on you personally of course!

  • I made the post in good faith and it was not supposed to be about pity parties, but rather about the good things in life. The comment I made about pity parties was only to show that I understood how bad people can feel at times. I have never felt self pity or even asked why me? But at times I do get frustrated with my inability to do all the tasks that need doing. My pity is reserved for wives who have lost husbands, mothers who have lost sons and children who have lost fathers. I cannot imagine the pain they must feel. They all show a dignity I fear I would not have.

  • I heard someone say the other day...."It's a good day. I woke up on the right side of the dirt." That put a smile on my face!

    Cheri :)

  • That's really funny going to have to use that

  • I had a little PITY PARTY last weekend. Then I found out three of my life long friends have Cancer. One died on Tuesday, one is still in bad shape and the last one is going home with a good chance of beating this cancer. My Pity Party came to a sudden stop. I know this is normal to feel this way but I also know there is always someone worse off than I am.

    GOD BLESS ALL OF THOSE SUFFERING AND BRING THEM HEALING

    AMEN

  • Hear Hear!

    I have also had two of my friends die this year from Cancer.

    This is one of the things we have to put up with as we get older

    losing our beloved friends.

    unfortunately we are all in a queue.

  • I am sorry if some people did not take my post in the spirit it was meant. I have not posted for a while, but missed everyone. Maybe I should have stayed away. I was trying to get those people in a bad place at the moment to try and find something positive to cling to. Perhaps I did not approach this in the best way. Often it is the simplest things in life which help me the most and I was hoping other people might feel the same.

  • Ah poppycock, Sue! Your post was perfect. I've been "away" for a few weeks too. Finally feel a bit better and call it serendipity--your positive party invite was the first post I read.

    Don't you dare stay away!

    Chris

  • I got it and I'm new never stop posting that's a great way to feel better i have had pd for 7years now i have had DBS surgery anyway i am still very bitter but then my grandkids who are 4 and 1 do something like make sure i get down the stairs and it makes everything ok

  • Let's see----list the things that are good in my life despite the PD-----#1 I am still alive!!!!! Seriously though--still able to care for self and home--everyday is different and some days more difficult but still able, still drive, spend time with my grandkids, have a new live-in boyfriend after 15 yrs alone in my empty nest--what was I thinking!!!!--we are going on a roadtrip leaving 7/9 and returning 7/24 going to the southwest, stopping along the way to visit family, friends,attend a wedding in Colorado----on our return home I re-pack and am off on my first trip ever out of the country to Italy where my youngest daughter is marrying her 'Prince Charming' in a castle in Siena surrounded by her brother/wife, sister, nieces/nephews, aunt/uncle, inlaws, cousins, her Dad and his wife and myself along with friends-----how blessed I am. Do I ever have pity parties for myself---you betcha but one needs to yell, scream or cry once in awhile so we can go on living our lives to the fullest---may mean modifying how we do something, may take longer or maybe may need to ask for assistance---whatever it takes----it certainly beats the alternative!!!!! As long as I can still find something to laugh about or at--especially if at myself--then all is ok.

  • Court, forgot to mention I was diagnosed 6 yrs ago, think its perfectly normal AND healthy to have a pity party every now and then-----just can't let them consume our lives and sap us of energy needed for other things. Your post just may get all of us thinking about what is good in our lives----and that's a good thing. If some never have had or will never give in to a pity party---well good for you---hope you have a healthy outlet when and if you are frustrated. PD affects each of us differently, progresses differently in each of us, how we choose to deal with it varies person to person but that's one of the drawing factors to this site----we can express our thoughts, share our experiences, offer suggestions, get ideas-----whatever we need as people who have or care for someone with PD. I think we need to feel we can post whatever, knowing that not everyone will agree, but don't respond in such a way that appears to attack someone's point of view-----we all have a right to agree or disagree but I don't feel we have the right to make anyone else feel they were wrong for posting anything. Court welcome back from wherever you've been and please don't feel you should have stayed away-----you got my day off to a good start thinking about what I have to look forward to in the next couple of months---THANK YOU!!!!

  • No, THANK YOU for your comments. I agree that we all have the right to our own point of view and it would be mad if we all agreed all of the time.

    I have never knowingly responded in such a way that appears to attack someone's point and hope I never will.

    Actually, I have not been anywhere. Just thought I was getting too involved and needed time out. Turns out I may not have been out for long enough. Glad I got your day off to a good start as this is what I was trying to achieve.

  • It amazes me how we are all fighting the same war, different battles, but the battles will all be the same at one time or another. I am always surprise how each day is so different. Yesterday when I wrote a couple things I could hardly make my fingers move on the keyboard, today I feel normal (old normal, not new one). I don't believe from the beginning of this that court wanted to just sit around feeling sorry for our selves. Although it is sooo easy to slip into that mode, spouses who really don't understand the fight inside, the fatigue. How to explain what is happening inside when we don't know what to expect in the next few minutes. I know I would rather be the pwp than the one who is looked to for so much help. I don;t know about anyone else but I can be a little erratic emotionally. Our children, our spouses are the ones who deserve the pity, they have to watch us, and have no reall idea whats going on, but stick by they do. They are forced to watch deteriaration at an unsteady rate. Knowing they are there is what keeps me going, my grand daughter who just graguated high school, my grand sons who will be building a hovercraft in the garage. These are the real gifts, and I know I try a lot harder to enjoy every minute with all of them

    some camping and fishing trips are in the works with them for the some. Again make the most of every minute, leaves little time for pity from anyone.

  • I always say I feel normal sitting down---its when I try standing that the The feeling of being normal disappears!!!! Getting out of a chair means rocking back and forth--counting 1--2--3--before rising, sometimes to only fall back into chair, repeat process 2 or 3 times before standing up fully,....then its taking that first step to get the motor running and then I am off!!!!!Personally I do not pity my family---I took care of them physically, financially, emotionally most of their lives and hope they will return the favor when the time comes BUT I do worry that I may have passed on the gene that seems to have been given to me and they could be diagnosed with PD----can only hope a cure will be found before or if this happens. Yes we need to continue to look for the good things that happen in our lives and enjoy every minute and second of them. Myself I can't dwell on what others may have to deal with as I go thru living day-to-day with PD but slowly I am beginning to see a little more understanding and acceptance of what is and what is to come in my children and for the moment that's all I can ask for. I hope all who visit this site have a good day and a better weekend--GOD BLESS

  • Have you joined 23andMe which is a site run by the Michael J Fox Foundation. It involves sending a sample of your spit, which is then tested. I joined to see if I carry the Parkinsons gene and it appears that I don't. If you are interested Google them and you will get all you need to know.

    This test is free for residents of the UK who have Parkinsons. Not sure whether this also applies to other countries.

  • I just checked....it is $300.00 here in the states..........you are lucky it is free for you. wieh I could spit that far... :-)

  • Jaynie,

    I live in the states and was approved for a free DNA test from 23andMe about 3 months ago. I had to complete a questionnaire online about my Parkinson's diagnosis, then the kit was mailed to my home.

    Good luck!

    Cheri :)

  • Sorry I did not make this clear. I also had to complete an online questionnaire and then the kit was mailed to my home. All postage costs were free and the results came back in a few weeks.

    I am still working my way through them!!

    Sue

  • Me too, Sue...it's a little complicated for me. I'm wading through it little by little.

    Cheri :)

  • Happy Birthday, my dear Sue, and please don't go away! I've missed hearing from you. I took your post exactly in the spirit that it was meant. It made me think of all the good things in my life and the many blessings I have...especially my family. My two grandgirls always put a smile on my face and help me forget my problems. Life is good. I hope you have a fabulous day, dah'ling and also hope that your son and his family have arrived home safely. Enjoy your special day with your loved ones.

    Take care,

    Cheri :)

  • Hi Ronn

    Thanks for your support. My answer is 'I WON'T. Watch this space..

    Sue

  • Hi Sue,

    Tell me the person who has not felt self pity at some time and I will show you a robot! Don't g o away. I enjoy your posts.

    At the moment I am sitting typing while tits, chaffinches, woodpeckers,nut hatches, sparrows are feeding off my peanut holders eight to ten feet away.

    Allellulia.

  • Thanks for this. Much appreciated. Am thinking of taking a back seat for a while, but won't be far away. I enjoy everyone's posts and comments and have never knowingly tried to provoke anyone. Appears I can do this without trying!! Keep in touch.

    Sue

  • hiu sue

    i ha ve completelyh missd the pity party posts -but u r right

    htere is always someone worse off than ourselves

    it can be difficult to accept oens lot - i think i hav edone htsi sinc ediagnosis

    but it si for others also to help me along the way....

    my 2 cousins are comign to visit today from the NE AND they are the lst visitors to the new apaartment

    so things r happenin ghere

    lol JIll

    ;-)

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