Peoples reaction to your pd

Have you or anyone of you noticed that with your pd diagnosis and los of some of your abilities,you have also lost some of the family and friends that were usually close by? I am finding it difficult to be honest with the people that I have loved and counted on as being close to me and my family, because some have already removed themselves from our lives . I guess I should not ne surprised the same thing happens when people get divorced, they divorce there friends too. I feel like I should be wearing a sign that states IT IS NOT CONTAGIOUS you can't catch it !! Trying to deal with pd with a smile on your faceis hard enough , but to do it without the friends you thought you had just makes it harder.

10 Replies

  • Oh I so know what you mean! When you say PARKINSONS people seem to shrink away quickly. You soon learn who true friends are. xx

  • Yes hollyb2 I understand what you are saying.

    I have been a good friend to all and I have to admit because I'm not going to get better it's as though the people who I thought of as friends give up because they don' t see any improvement.

    Plus I cannot be relied upon to be out every other weekend so therefore I got dumped and was never asked out to various different night's out organised. I am not a valuable asset to some people anymore. I stop them becoming drunk cos they are concious I am with them I heard one of them say.

    Plus 1 person who I had know for 25 yr had fallen out with her best friend so I took her to meet my 2 best friends 1 from work and 1 childhood friend . The work and childhood friend I introduced them to each other so that they had each other to go out with since they had no man in their lives at the time. The person I 'd known for 25 I also introduced so that they had a network of friends to go out with. Knowing I couldn't always go out due to parkers or work etc

    The 25 yr person fell out with me over money since she failed to pay me back what she owed when I managed to get her DLA . I didn't fall out with her I needed my friends cos I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. Where were they ! No where to be seen and when I did catch up I wasn't required because my childhood friend didn't want to be embarrassed or feel awkward with the 25 yr friend if I were to be present on a night out. Therefore I was no longer a part of their lives or invited out because I had a man, but they needed the network to maintain their social life in order to perhaps meet a man !

    Yes unbelievable but true

    Those That are true friends will always remain in your life even if they go into hiding because they are having the same feeling as a bereavement, but they don't know what to do cos your still there. Those friends rally round once you ring and thell them it's ok to be scared or worried or don't know what to say. They learn about the condition and ask if you need help when they see me struggle to get my coat off. I always say I will ask if I can't and they respect that but now and again they do forget and I have to laugh cos they care ! Plus I'm still invited out ! So I reckon I can understand to a certain degree

  • Thank you, letting me know I am not the only one out there I am 46yrs old , this is all new to me I have only been diagnosed about 5 months ago but have been systematic for more then 5yrs. most of my days are spent in a roller coaster of emotions . I am so glad I found this sight ,it might just save my sanity. Everything will fall into place . when the time is ready. Thank you again for sharing.

  • I'm here for you when ever you need a hand or ear or advice cos I understand i'm 48 yrs old and been diagnosed 10 yr

  • I am 46 yrs diagnosed 5 months but systematic 5yrs . I am so glad I found this site it might just save my sanity!! By the time I figure which friends are staying and which are going ,I will probably be crazy already. all I hear is hang in there. So far the only word I hear is Hang and I am not quit at the point to hang myself yet. with the help of my family husband 4daughters and 7 grandchildren I will make it through what ever comes my way. thank you again for sharing.

  • Take your time 1 step at a time xxx

  • We too lost friends. I guess lost is too harsh. There were people who had always been in my life. Then I got Dx'd. I handled it ok but it was very tough for my wife. We began to struggle as a couple as we copped with the Dx. People felt sorry for me but I was fine. My wife wanted to show that she was tough but needed help yet wouldn't accept it. In the meantime those that we thought were friends would continue to try and involve us as they had in the past. Then less and less. Partly I couldn't keep up. Mostly our "friends" couldn't help but pass judgement on how my wife and I were dealing with our Dx. They would judge not support. Condem my wife for her reactions rather than comfort and counsel. Some of these friends would pass judgement based on what they believed was an "appropriate" way to handle it. I don't get mad at them, the disease is often not pretty to look at or deal with. I can never forgive them for judging my wife and uttering "she should be more....." etc. So we have

    Drifted further from those people who judge & left us and ultimately closer to each other and our family and those whose hearts don't judge but bleed compassion. Best of luck. Cheers ps my advice (which is free so costs nothing to disregard) is to not forget that your family has also been Dx'd not just you and how you & your family come to terms with it will define how easy or hard it is for you all to "hang in there".

  • True friends are like stars - you may not always see them but they are always there. Tony

  • hey tony and gazelle

    you certainly make a diffeence ot theg

    start of my day

    for the better of course

    love jill


  • Thanks Jill. Tony xx

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