Bits and Pieces

[jupiterjane]

Pieces,

bits and pieces

of me keep disappearing.

My strength

is waning.

Hope and desire

diminished.

I'm all but broken,

caved in,

deflated.

Years of putting

my best foot forward,

pushing myself up

time after time,

making the best

of every situation,

has left me tired

and jaded.

Life is running out

for me,

and I don't know

if I can handle

what may come next.

No choice,

No choices,

they've already

been made.

I remain open

and vulnerable.

Putting myself out there,

out into the world

I created for myself.

Knowing that how

I lived my life

made my life

and ultimately

will end my life.

Pieces,

bits and pieces.

Jupiterjane

[Parkinson_Schmarkinson]

Jupiter was mighty Zeus,

son of the Titan, Cronus

Old Cronus, he had many sons

and ate them as a bonus.

Rhea (mom) to save her son

fed Cronus rocks instead.

And Zeus was hidden in a cave

and on ambrosia fed.

When Zeus was ready, Rhea came

and gave her boy a sickle

and what he did to Cronus, well

let’s say it didn’t tickle.

Don’t go to pieces, Jupiter Jane

replace whatever falls off.

Then grab old PD by the throat

and cut his f#$&ing balls off.

[Hidden]

We could all disappear under a wave of despair a mountain of medication a loss of self. Yes we could. What stops one person from doing this? For some it's family, for some it's love, for some it's some small concession to their lot. So go put your head under the duvet, go shut the door to your life, go stop caring about you.. But before you hit that lonely place here's a thought or two...

Remember your first crush how your heart flipped and you floated in some euphoric place, thinking about a kiss a touch being consumed by bliss

Remember that piece of music that swells your head and hear every beat taking you to a place where sound is life. Each note transporting your spirit up

Remember that summer, you ate too many strawberries fruit picking, your pooh stick was the first out from under the bridge, you lit a bonfire on the beach and swam naked.

If you remember then you know how good life is, if you don't because you didn't have any of the above.... It's time to get going. Live life love life to live x

[Owenbob in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. I needed that too. I sometimes feel that I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. I don't even shake, accept for my teeth. It's just that I so tired all the time, hard to move around, hard to dress, etc. etc.

[jupiterjane]

i've suited up,

with weapons ready

to fight this unpopular foe,

but no matter how many

words I throw at it,

it simply , will not go

but i'll fight on

with golden tongue

to prove my mind

still sharp

and kick the ass

of this life stealing monster

with one incredible sweep

of my heart

it's hard to stay strong

when the enemy

just won't quit

but with the help

of great friends

my mind, if not my body,

will keep its

incredible wit

[Court]

I have always believed and said that I will know when enough is enough. Now I am not quite so sure. How could I leave my grandchildren? Never to talk or even laugh with them again. There are so many good things in my life, even with PD. Without PD I would never have found this site and drawn strength from so many others, many of them worse than I am. What scares me the most is my uncertain future, how would I cope without my husband? But to dwell on what ifs does not serve me any purpose so I try to get out of each day as much as I can and this is my way of coping - for now.

Sorry this is mostly about me, but believe me I do understand how you feel. Lets hope tomorrow will be better.

Suexx

[ram927]

Yesterday is the past

Tomorrow is the future

Today is now

Do not worry about what was

Do not worry if what will be

Live for today

[Owenbob in reply to ram927]

This is something we should all live every day.