The physical discomfort of Parkinson-induced rigidity.
The frustration of its debilitating effects on cognition and communication—the ability to think and to speak.
The uncertainty which comes with the changes of my role in my family and in my congregation.
The prospect of becoming more “in the way”.
Self-pity and depression began to coil around my heart and strangle life and joy out it.
I didn’t want to succumb, but how do I rejoice when I feel the best I can do is stay out of the way? Is there any way I can be more of an asset than a liability, more of blessing than a burden?”
Then these thoughts came into my mind,
“Categorizing myself as either an asset or a liability shows how much I am preoccupied with myself.
aI am neither an asset or a liability. I am an instrument in God’s hand for the His use. He may use me as a burden in some cases and a boost in others, but in every case the result will be the glory of God and the good of all who love Him.
Even my weaknesses and failures will be worked together for good. Of course, I will get no glory from it, but that’s no problem, if I truly love God.
Since Adam ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, human nature wants to usurp the divine prerogative of determining what is good and what is evil. I am no different.
I am naturally inclined to determine for myself, what is valuable and what is detrimental. But because I don’t have God’s insight or perspective, the result will be either pride or despair.
My greatest joy does not come from being an asset or even an instrument. My greatest joy comes from knowing I am a beloved son in Christ, with whom He is well-pleased.
If I believe that, the Holy Spirit’s joy and love will propel me to love God and to love others as Jesus Christ has loved me.
For in Christ the only thing that matters is faith working through love. (Galatians 5:6 paraphrased)
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PDbyGrace
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Very nice post PDbyGrace. I have recently started to get out from under constantly worrying about my REM Sleep Behavior Disorder and doing some things I like to do. I have a FB friend in Maiduguri Nigeria who recorded this song at his house and I turned it into a music video. I think you will like it. It fits with your post: God's Love Has No End, Written by Buba Mwajim, performed by Buba & Maryamu, Buba. (if you like it, maybe comment on Buba's video. He seems to be a really good person) youtu.be/XxQrL_-9LWM
Thank you for the words of encouragement, Bolt_Upright. I have sleep issues as well. I usually can't get into REM sleep until about 4:30 in the morning. It's so easy to let my weaknesses intimidate me, rather than see them as opportunities to trust Him. I really enjoyed the song. I would like to know the English translation. I assume it is very close to the English introduction. Thank you for the comment and the video.
You write very well. You have a strong command of the English language and appear to be well educated. You have character and convictions and probably interests and interesting experience. Looks to me that you have a voice thru writing and there are many local newspapers looking for columnists or maybe just the church monthly newsletter . They don't have one, well there you go , start one. Other people have stories they need to tell and dont have your abilities. Do you believe in directives from God?
I am fine, tired. No complaints, because my wife says I complain too much. But I say if your going to do something do it big. Getting ready for Christmas and the government just announced severe lock down measures. I cant even remember to put my mask on before I enter the store and my wife wants a family dinner at Christmas. I am doomed, doomed I tell you.
Wow, GymBag! You are the poster child for encouragement. I appreciate your complementary remarks. It lights a fire in me. I am always grateful when I receive such reaction,. And like so many other of my experiences of HIs grace, I am totally amazed.. It's not something I can brag about, because it is a gift. Paraphrasing Eric Liddell in the movie, Chariots of Fire (you can watch the scene below}, God has given me a gift with words and I feel His pleasure when I write. But it has become much more difficult now. Sometimes the rigidity in my shoulders and arms is so intense, I can't type or even hold a book. And if rigidity is not the issue, fatigue is. Thinking, formulating those thoughts into ideas and ideas into words, can be as physically draining as mowing the yard or lifting weights. It can be very discouraging. But your words of encouragement have diminished the discouragement, at least for now.
Although I am not sure what you mean by "directives from God," let me answer your question this way. I believe that God directs my steps through the combination of the Bible, thoughts and internal impressions,, external counsel and circumstances. Is that what you mean? According to Jesus, the essence of Christianity is not rules and instructions, but relationship and intimacy with HIs Heavenly Father. This fellowship requires communication. How about you? Do you believe in directives from God?
Whew ! It took me over an hour just to write that reply But I loved it!
Firstly as I'm sure you are aware life is precious and very short and to be enjoyed every minute people who haven't got pd have no idea what it's like as for being in the way I have no time for People who don't at least try and be a little bit empethetic it's hard enough battling this shite condition without people a little patience and a bit of grace good luck
I hear you. Insensitivity stinks! So far I have been blessed to be surrounded by people, who go out of their way to show me I'm not in the way, especially my wife and family. I still go to the church I pastored for 27 years. Everyone treats me with compassion and respect, but it is different. My ability to make conversation has diminished quite a bit. I have lost a lot of weight and strength. They love me, but they are not comfortable with me. And what we are uncomfortable with, we tend to avoid. I cut them some slack, because I can be, and have been, just like them with other people.
And you are so right about life being precious. I am trying to learn to be totally present and grateful in each moment , trying to see the person or persons in front of me, at any moment, as the most important person in my world, for that moment. That requires a love and patience above my pay grade, but which are available to me though faith in the one who loves me and gave Himself for me.
Thank you for replying. I pray you will be filled with both patience and grace and the knowledge SOMEONE loves you a lot.
Thank you for sharing Grace. For those of us believers who have Parkinson’s it was a wonderful reminder of God’s purpose for us not changing just because of this debilitating disease. May we be what He intends despite our human tendencies to lose sight of His plans. “For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.”Jeremiah 29:11-12 NASB1995
Stumbled across this thread. Kinda new to this format( social media challenged). Nice and encouraging to read Christian based exchanges. It is very uplifting and encouraging to me personally since being diagnosed in October. God Bless.
THANKS FOR YOUR POST. I HAD MY FIRST VISIBLE PD SYMPTOMS IN 2017 AND THINGS WENT DOWNHILL FAIRLY RAPIDLY. MY WIFE (RED GINGER) HAS SHOULDERED MORE AND MORE RESPONSIBILITY, BEYOND HER NORMAL LOAD. I FEEL PRETTY USELESS SOMETIMES. BUT I HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT OUR SUFFERING CAN BE USEFUL IN DEVELOPING GOOD CHARACTER (JAMES 1) IF ONLY i WILL COOPERATE WITH GOD'S PURPOSES AND ACCEPT HIS GRACE.
IT'S ALSO BEEN THE CASE THAT GOD HAS USED MY WEAKNESS AS AN ENCOURAGEMENT TO OTHERS AROUND ME. MY NEIGHBORS AND CHURCH FAMILY SEE, WRITTEN IN "LARGE LETTERS", WHAT A STRUGGLE IT IS TO JUST BE THERE. SOMETHING THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN SUCH A POWERFUL WAY WHEN I WAS IN GOOD HEALTH.
FINALLY, THE KINDNESS OF OTHERS TO OUR FAMILY AND THE SPECIAL BLESSINGS OF THE LORD DURING THIS STRUGGLE HAS CHALLENGED ME TO BE LESS SELFISH. I'VE GOT A LONG WAYS TO GO, BUT GOD HAS DEFINITELY USED WHAT SEEMS LIKE A SEVERE TRIAL TO MOVE ME FURTHER ALONG HIS WAY.
Wow I needed to read these posts today. I'm the wife of Larry who was diagnosed with PD in 2019. To say the last 2 years have been a struggle is an understatement as I'm sure you all are aware. We've gone through all the stages of a loss - grief, rejection, anger, depression, and we're trying to get to acceptance even though the fight has barely begun. Not being Mother Theresa, Florence Nightengale, or Mary Poppins, I've struggled watching my husband of nearly 50 years, slowly disappear. I hate it as does he. The only way we are making it through is by the grace of God. All of your words above are so timely as I just spent another day beating myself up over not being patient enough, kind enough, compassionate enough, helpful enough, I could go on and on. Knowing that this life is just a vapor in God's eyes and the life to come with Him is beyond our imaginations keeps us hopeful and moving forward. We do have purpose, my husband's life is meaningful and important, and we need to live each day to its fullest. Thank you all for demonstrating your faith and speaking the word. Jesus bless you.
Thank you, God, for transforming the painful and evil events and experiences in my messed up life, in this messed up world, into opportunities to experience your grace, love and power on my behalf.
When you are at the low point and it all seems too much and nothing works; look around you. There will be an opportunity easy to ignore and difficult to fulfill but think about how you can have a positive influence in the situation. It is not by accident that you are aware and a small thing at the right time may make all the difference. The end result may make it only a little better but it will grow and you will have just helped yourself. Sounds like a fortune cookie. I call it direction from God, but you already knew that was happening in the back of your mind and I am just confirming it. Go easy on yourself .
An example of this.How many people have you helped by their reading this post? What ,moved you to write it when it was so difficult. I already know
Again, I have to thank you for your encouraging words! I read this a few days ago. Earlier that morning, my wife gave me similar words of encouragement. You are right! You have brought to the front, what was already in the back of my mind. I hope in this coming year, you will be blessed with an abundance of joy, peace and grace, more than sufficient for any trial you experience .
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Psalm 119:143
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Finding Joy in the Midst of PD
