My father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer May 2011. Since then the nightmare conversation with the doctor has been relived in my mind over and over again. Writing the following two poems has helped me deal with this whole ordeal.
Grant it, I am not the ill one, but I, like the family, is devastated. We have been leaning on each other to stay strong and to help my dad get through this. I pray that they may strengthen someone else as they have strengthened me.
Thank you, S. Natal
You have cancer--
the words of a life sentence.
Hit like a bat in full swing right in the gut.
The wind leaves your once healthy gut for a moment.
Life flashes before you.
Days of joy, seconds of anger, moments of laughter, years of health.
Why? The questions. The pain. The grief. The tears.
Then it all fades away.
Why? The questions. The reasons.
Coping with the growth invading your body overstaying its stay, never welcomed.
Can't it be evicted?
The stars of confusion floating overhead fizzle then fade,
The struggle for control. Who wins? Cancer or will?
Defeat? No, resiliency. The power, the struggle.
The Lord carries us through, makes us stronger.
Accept, overcome, survive.
What is it?
Pancreatic Cancer. Sorry.
Why did I get it?
Don't know. Could be anything.
How bad is it?
Pretty bad. Metastasized.
Huh? Master who? What does that mean?
Spread to liver.
Wow. Now what?
How long do I have?
Six months to a year.
What caused it? Agent orange? Diabetes?
Dont know. Can't tell.
What do you recommend?
Faith. Hope. Fight. Enjoy life. Write a will.
Chemo is your only option.
Let?s do it. I have the fight. I can do this. Only 6 months? Tell me more...
Fourth leading cause of cancer deaths, very aggressive.
I can be aggressive. I have my family. I have my faith. I have the will.
Thanks, Doc. I will beat the odds. I will be a miracle.