Family impact of pain

[Family_impact-Pain]

Hi

I am Rubina Shah, a researcher from Cardiff University interested in understanding family impact of chronic pain.

[micox]

Hi. I'd be happy to help if of use.

[Family_impact-Pain Researcher in reply to micox]

Thank you very much. Appreciate your kind help!

[vondel12]

I have constant pain with lower back pain and osteoarthritis in feet back and hands I have been to doctors and been given pain killer but cannot tolerate many of them and I'm just on Gabapentin now. Every day and every night I have pain Can't do even a third of what I used to do as always very active. My husband is very understanding but I am very often bad tempered angry or weepy and I'm not a soft or weak person but there are days when I feel I've had enough of being in pain and useless and my poor husband gets the brunt of it all with my moods I hear myself but cannot stop I did try talking to my sister who said "Oh yes I'm the same I just walk through it" I can't be bothered to talk with her about it any more as I've seen her run for a bus fly up stairs when she thinks there's no-one looking . I feel let down by a sister that I used to be close to but now feel as I can't get around for holidays abroad walking around bazaars and Oh we don't need a taxi it's not far (turns out to be a really long way) so her and her husband walk off and say see you back at the hotel!! It's caused a big rift between myself and my sister she just doesn't understand I'm not getting a few aches and pains which is what I think by the way she gets around and movers is what she is having. I don't want sympathy just understanding and I have slowly cut myself off from them. I feel they consider me a encumbrance nowadays

[Family_impact-Pain Researcher in reply to vondel12]

Thank you for sharing your story. Having continuous pain and not being able to do everyday activities can be difficult and frustrating. There are days when you need more support from your loved ones, I am happy you mentioned that your husband is very understanding and caring. Please continue to stay strong!

[vondel12 in reply to Family_impact-Pain]

Thank for your kind wishes 😀

[rabbits65 in reply to vondel12]

Hello vondell 12Just read your post with interest.

Your not alone. I have horrible pain mainly in my feet. Have sciatica too I get good days and bad days . I do find it very tiring. I think the thing is to go at your own pace and don’t let anyone try to compare what they can do with whatever you can’t do. I have a sister who is 6 years older than me and she copes with life generally better than me. We are in touch each day but we keep our visits to an hour or so . Sometimes she finds me a bit frustrating at times but we tend to laugh it off. Your lucky to have a nice husband. I live on my own with two active poodles . I push myself to walk them I don’t always want to go. I don’t find pain killers any good at all. But any firm of exercise and also love hot water bottles and rest Shen needed. The Pain clinic talk about pacing ourselves.

I do hope you get to read my post to you . Take care from Penny 😊

[vondel12 in reply to rabbits65]

Thank you for your response it's nice to know that that someone else understands where I am coming from. Pain killers have bad side effects on me so I avoid them too. I guess my problem is I try to push myself too much. I have quite a lot of garden which I used to do quite easily and get quite frustrated at how little I can do at a time nowadays. I have a rescue Staffie and most mornings I manage to walk her but for her second walk it's just my husband. Must be horrible struggling on your own you've made me realise that in some ways I'm very lucky!!

[rabbits65 in reply to vondel12]

Hello vondell12Well I made the choice to be on my own as my husband and I agreed to a divorce many years ago. I’ve learnt to cope and I enjoy my two poodles but some days I just get so tired with the pain , luckily my dogs give me a lot of love and I find loving them back helps me to relax. I love my hot water bottle too. I tried a sorts massage too. I had a few sessions but decided that probably the strong massage was too much for this sciatica and have cancelled going to anymore massages . What do you think about sports massage?

[vondel12 in reply to rabbits65]

I found it too painful even on the days after I was still feeling the effects of it so I never had anymore. I'm you opposite and find that anything cold seems to numb the pain a little that I have with the exception of a nice hot shower on my back first thing in the morning gets me a little more mobile and standing up straight finally. What makes me laugh is I struggle to do my garden and then neighbours passing bye ask me if I would like to do theirs, 🤣🤣x

[rabbits65 in reply to vondel12]

😂 that is funny !!!I tried to do a little gardening too but I found it impossible today....

I took the poodles along the seafront ( I live at Bexhill on sea) the sea air was so fresh . But walking on the beach was quite tiring. I’m hoping my sciatica settles down soon, I’m not going back to that sports massage lady as she was too strong . Goodnight . 😴

[vondel12 in reply to rabbits65]

Wow ! I came to Maidstone from Hastings and my sister lives in Bexhill Sidley small world I know just how windy it can get on the seafronts and walking on the beach is hard work hope your sciatica improves for you very soon

[rabbits65 in reply to vondel12]

That’s amazing !!! What a small world . I’ve only been in Bexhill since 2015 . I came down to help my sister look after my mother who has now passed. I was born in Bromley Kent. I’ve actually had sciatica pain on and off since the age of 21 !!! Now at the age of 68 I have a lot of arthritis but I keep making myself “ Walk” I want to stay as fit as is possible , but my feet are what get me really “ down” I guess we just have to learn to live with these horrendous painful bodies , I like living by the sea. Why did you move to Maidstone , was it work?

[vondel12]

Exactly my husband came out of work never been without a job and he could find nothing but so much more this way We're both retired now and often pop over to Hastings & Bexhill to see my sister or a walk along the seafront in Hastings. (nostalgia) even miss the seagulls. 😀As you say we have to try and keep active some days are quite hard but I'd hate to get to the stage where mobility was nearly non existent and I try to keep my weight down too as since I've slowed down but my weight has gone up so got to keep moving! Wishing you all the best for your future Take care