Need some help about kidney issues

[Itwillbeok]

Just found out they want to do a kidney biopsy on me. I am refusing the biopsy. I know why my kidney are going down hill so fast. It's because of the infusions I am getting. I will not stop the infusions because it's the only thing I have to some kind of pain relief. So the told me that I might need a kidney transplant and I told my kids I would not take one from them. So they are mad with me am I wrong. I told them I would do the other means but not that on. What would any of you guys do?

[hypercat54]

Oh a difficult one. All I can say is if it was one of your family who needed a kidney what would you do then? I think if you can work that one out you have your answer. x

[Itwillbeok in reply to hypercat54]

Hello hypercat,

It is hard because my kids have a family and all I keep thinking about is if I take there kidney from them and something happens to my grandkids later down the road and then they can't help them. That would kill me. God forgive nothing ever happens to any of my grandkids but I need my kids fully health just to keep them that way. Is it wrong to think that way,should I think of myself I just trying to worry about everyone I think.

[Itwillbeok in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you for you thoughts I do agree with you. I would jump to give a kidney no questions asked. I am 46 yrs my kids are in their 20s they need a life. I know agree with you so much but there is so much at stake.

[hypercat54 in reply to Itwillbeok]

Ok I get that but how about if one of your parents needed a kidney? Or a sibling? x

[KidneyCoach]

Honestly, there is no right or wrong answer. Don't allow others' opinions to sway you one way or another. You must do what you feel is right for you in this moment. Be content with that. Maybe down the road on your journey you will change your mind and that's okay too. You could say something like "you know as your mom I love you and would do anything for you and I would let you help me too, but for now this is my decision. Love me while you can. Let's make perfect moment memories today. When tomorrow comes, let's face it head on, together." Approach it with love. Blessings

[Itwillbeok in reply to KidneyCoach]

That sounds great. I told them I am not giving up I am not just using them. But maybe I came at them to hard and should talk to them again. Explain it different more loving more in depth. Maybe simpler like you did. Thank you.

[hypercat54]

Don't forget too that you are still young. At 46 you probably have another 40 years left. I would love to be 46 again.

I also think your kids would much rather have you around even if it means one of them loses a kidney. You can live a completely normal life with only 1 kidney anyway. It does have to be your choice though of course.

And also too of course none of your kids might be a match! x

[Itwillbeok in reply to hypercat54]

I know I am going to talk with them but I just don't know if I am ready to take a kidney from them. Maybe down the road but not yet but I will talk with them and I will hear them out this time at least. I'm just confused and it a lot for me to take in right now. I just want to break down and cry but I can't do that because I was always told hold your feelings back do not show how you are truly feeling and don't ever cry. So I don't hold back everything on how I'm feeling and if I want to cry I don't I walk away and bottle it up inside.

[hypercat54 in reply to Itwillbeok]

It's not good for you to bottle up your feelings you know. It's not a sign of strength, Only truly strong people can let go of their emotions coz they know are in charge of and can deal with them. x

[Itwillbeok in reply to hypercat54]

I was taught by my father not to show weakness. That is how you show weakness. I never taught that to my kids but it's had for me to change myself. This is a different story and a long one and one I don't want to get into. So I thank you for all your thoughts and wisdom. It just runs much deeper.

[Mary-intussuception in reply to Itwillbeok]

Sometimes - we need to cry. x

[SusieJo1948]

Your children love you,if it was one of them that needed a kidney you would be the first one to give them one. So let them help you don,t want to die yet. Please let them help they don,t want you to die so please let them help. I have stage 3 kidney disease and my children to give one I would let them. Please think about it really think. They,'ll be losing there mother and a hard thing to live with. My mom's been gone 8 years and I miss her like it was yesterday. Susiejo1948

[AndrewT]

Dear itwillbeok,

I have had a Kidney Transplant, in July 2013, following four years on Dialysis, three times a week- four hours a time. What I'm trying to say here is that Kidney Failure is NOT much 'fun' and, more importantly, not everyone's Kidneys are compatible. So you can't just 'Nominate' someone, it doesn't work like that! Even IF your son/daughter/auntie/granny/next door neighbour ARE compatible the operation, for the Donor, is much more severe than for the recipient.

Personally I would keep the Biopsy Appointment, if only to find out how Damaged your Kidneys are. Beyond that I would definitely recommend speaking to your Doctors/Consultants, regarding your Medication. I understand about your need for pain relief, please don't think that I don't care, but, having had Kidney Damage- as a result of my Vasculitis- I would not wish it on anyone. Sorry to be so Blunt itwillbeok. Please do Feel Free to contact me, indeed any of us, again.

Enjoy the Long Weekend, kindest wishes.

AndrewT

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Do the infusions have an impact on the kidneys? What are they? Are they. DIsease Midification Drug?