Pain Concern
22,004 members7,494 posts

Just Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

How can I put this......

This dam P.T.S.D is ruining my Marriage, I also have severe depression to help mix things up.....

I feel in a very dark corner.

Feel know we're out.

I've been at my doc's, am waiting on a Psychologist appointment. Hopefully it should be too long, it's really getting me down.

As well as my Marriage is not going in the right direction :-(

Any support will be appreciated.

Or even if there is anyone who can take this all away and give me my old self back.

Joe :-(

14 Replies

I'm sorry you feel so down hun I get like that a lit of the time I live in chronic pain & awaiting to see phycologist. I wish I could wave a magic wand sorry hun. If you want a chat I'm here to listen xxx


No solutions Joe just lots of ttlc and gentle hugs. My ex couldn't cope when I lost my sight so went off. David's couldn't cope with a broken, battered and depressed sailor so she went off too. Now David has me....!!!!

Not a lot of help but just might make you smile briefly.

Pat x


I'm sorry Joe, we can't take it away but we can listen to you.

We all wish we could find the answer and spread the news, so to speak.

Chronic pain blights us all in different ways and when you add outside issues, it's a big bundle of mess that you feel you're not gonna get through.

Let rip to us all you need - you're pretty much guaranteed to find someone with circumstances like yours too so rant, rave, scream & shout to us all you want.......



Thanks for the comments, some made me laugh.

Your a good bunch to have.

You may just keep me from cracking......mind I said maybe.....

Joe x

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U may feel overpowered by your condition but

It doesn't define u

Voice record the angst out use the bathroom as your consulting space.

Try and find one thing you may do with your husband to reconnect.

Mindfulness does help its developing your own form so that you stop looking at the big picture cause it's overwhelming .

Routine is important rest and do and if u can't use distraction so you don't stay with your pain .

Create a safe calm non stimulating space use earplugs ,mute the light just focus on one thing .

Use the psychologist to get a plan and a strategy .

Use this site for a voice.

The depression is the result it's the emotions that came before that are the key with me it was grief for who I had become self judgment feeling a failure cause I couldn't overcome the condition in the time scale I set it was unrealistic .Anger frustration helplessness having to relearn even the most basic movement etc and that feeling of being entirely overwelmed and then shut down when literally my body and brain would just flip the off switch .

U can come through this.




The anger and frustration can be redirected to help u manage the situation but it takes time.

This is your journey and relationships add a more complicated dynamic if he loves you then he will accept that you have to sort you and get coping mechanisms and have a period of adjustment without the pressure of expectation u need to focus on you.

It is very hard for a partner to watch and understand what is going on remember they are grieving too .

Life is not over and I do get wanting to hide in a dark corner and maybe u have to do that for a while but the body and brain are capable of so much but the biggest thing is time......

Hope some of these suggestions help.



I would never want to make light of what you are going through. I was in a very dark place and daily struggle to keep my head above water due to chronic pain. While I wasn't delivered of pain and a non understanding spouse. God gets me through it. He loves you so much and waiting to receive your heart. He may allow you to go through something so you can come out victorious and tell others of His love and hope. I pray God will totally heal your body and soul, a new day and life. God's prescription is trust and love and side affects are peace joy hope and eternal life

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Sorry you're facing this, but you may want to check out Anthony William. He talks about root causes and addresses ptsd and depression. How to heal naturally. He wrote a book "medical Medium". Are you open minded? Then follow this path enough to discover if this is your answer. You can hear recordings for free if you sign up for a free acct. at Hay House Radio and search for him.

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Hi i am so sorry you are suffering this way . Trauma can effect not just yourself but those you care for without you realising . I have been ill 3 yrs now afta neck trauma it has effected my life and marriage and social life . There is alot of people on here in the same situation we all feel for each other and sometimes just knowing you are not alone is a big step to getting part of yourself back . We are all here for you . There is loads of advice and support available on here . Chin up you will get there x

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Not in a good place these last few days.

I feel this hole is getting bigger.

My wife, doesn't like what's going on. She feels am shutting her out. Maybe I am, but I don't feel as if I am. Does this make sense?

Am always tired, 24/7. My energy levels are very low.

Even the kids have noticed a difference in me. They always ask if am ok.

Especially when I go into my silent modes which last up to 1 hrs sometimes alot longer.

This is when I go into a mega shut down mode. :-(



I put in activity and shut down time .

That way if I catch the fatigue before I go to shut down I prevent the off switch getting flicked.

Maybe if you call this times of stimulus and then non stimulus you may get a better handle ,and not give yourself a negative picture .

It's all about self management of the condition and other people's expectations are difficult because they want you to be as you were and the dynamic has changed and there is a period of adjustment .

Is it possible for you to all talk together and just be open with the kids about what is happening and how you need to have quiet times so you can have busy times they maybe a lot less anxious knowing there is a plan and you may well feel a little less isolated within the family dynamic .

Maybe texting feelings about what is going on between you and your partner may also help .(it helped my partner and me )and keeps exchanges simple and not over emotional and identifies the factors that need to be addressed.

There are good and bad periods and I get that this is rough for you .

Good luck!


PTSD has certainly testing me and my family.

The wife and I are going through hell.

Things are not great at all.

Is it going to get any easier.....well, I don't think so....

PTSD is ruining my family.

Joe :-(


I was in and so was my Hun . Just what say hi and you not a alone . One thing I like to see my like too do is meditate and breathing exercises I families to help me when I am seriously stressed in pain and scared to go out phone these to help me when I am seriously stressed in pain and scared Out . But The breathing exercises help me get control Not be so scared thikeing I was alone In the dark x


Joe69 hi just what me and my hubs so if what say hi I'm here boo from the dark 😜

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Hi Joe,

So sorry for your ordeal,

Please know you are not alone. Don't carry all this on your shoulders, great you have shared this.

Ensure the doc gives you the help you need, most at all don't bottle it up, don't try to be a hero, let people know you need help, that is not a sign of weakness more a sign of inner strength.

You say you have PTSD, was it as a result of your line of work or developed over time?

If at all possible try to talk to the Mrs to let her know where you are mentally, physically, everything.

You might be able to get couple counselling from your GP, in the meantime, do you have children?

The thing is you are under a lot of stress and that makes your situation worse, you won't be able to see the wood for the trees.

I have been there, it is not easy there is hope, it is very important that the GP get you seen ASAP so that you can begin to have a plan in place, to deal with your condition.

Try relaxation techniques deep breathing in and out, I find that helps a lot.

There is more to say but get the assessment of exactly what you need done first, stay positive.

Sending you positive vibes.

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