I had my long awaited L5/S1 discectomy nearly 2 weeks ago and I am sadly still getting nerve pain down my leg to my toes. It's not as bad as it was before .... But it's more than noticeably there.
I usually try to be positive and answer other peoples posts by trying to lift them up or give them something good to think about but I'm failing with myself. I gave it a while before I posted on here to see if things got any better but they haven't and I find myself slipping down very fast into depression. Today I am trying to handle Mother's Day for my 6 year old with a smile but have to keep dashing off somewhere quiet and alone to cry and wonder if this is my life. Pain, restriction and drugs.
I know so many have it worse than me but I am honestly running on empty as on top of this I am now seeing a rhumatologist and I'm having tests for suspected RA.
Can anyone honestly tell me that they have had this op and it's taken a while for the nerve pain to settle or is this it??
I'm not sleeping well and all I can think about is how bad my life has turned out - I hate feeling self pity but it's just how I feel. I'm a relatively youngish 48 year old and feel such a failure to myself my partner and above all else my daughter. My close friends have all deserted me one by one as it's too much reality and doom and gloom for them I guess - they never really 'got it' or understood the pain or the mental strain I felt and I can't keep moaning to my partner as he needs a break too.
I feel very isolated and alone. Am I kidding myself to think that it's early days? I went for a wound check and asked the very young nurse about the nerve pain and just got a smiling and yet unconvincing yes yes yes - this is to be expected ... but before the op my consultant said it may only reduce the pain a little or not at all and those words are ringing in my ears now.
I just have such a bad gut feeling about this and feel very very very low today.
Sorry for the negativity but I can't seem to shake it off. I am falling apart mentally with it all.