Long nights!

[MargaretJ]

On one's own the nights can be very long! Mind you my ex would have been about as much use as a chocolate teapot! C'est la vie!

Margaret!

[Jan76]

Morning Maragret ..

The night must seem very long and lonely if there is no one there ..used to hate it when Brian had to go away on courses many moons ago ...

At least we are here during the day xxx

Love Jan xx

[doreenharwood]

Morning Margret,

I am on my own in the evening 5 nights a week as my husband does night work, Its been like that since we meet 8 years ago so I'm used to it. The only time it did bother me was when I had my chemo as I felt bad for the first few days, and I did not like being alone. I know how you feel some evenings its nice to be on your own but sometimes it can get lonely . Have you tried joining clubs or any groups in your area or evening classes can be a good way of meeting people.

Hope things get better for you Love Babs x x

[lucy1dog]

Hi Margret I am so lucky that I have someone at home with me. I have been out of hospital a week and still a bit poorly but getting stronger every day. Hope things are not too lonely for you and the great thing is we have each other. Keep your chin up.

Lucy x

[shen]

Hi i cany sleep much at nigjt i waken up and am often on this site in the middle of thr night..

like gwen....i dont like to waken my hisband... So i often sit on my own in the dark . Thinkin

.its better to try amd do something.. I now try and tape things to watch then..usually afta a ciuple of hours i can go back to bed..... Also try and avoid coffee.. It keeps u awake...then its a mad circle...

Log on ill talk to u... ThT will send u to sleep...... Haha gwen will co firm that

Good luck

Shen...

[charlie12]

I did a wonderful mindfulness / CBT course last year when I thought I would totally loose it with terrible post-op chronic pain . This had wonderful relaxation exercises which I downloaded to my phone and can listen to anywhere. One , called the "Body Scan" takes about 30 minutes and whenever I do it because I can't sleep I just drift off so nicely.

Lots of exercise , if you can, also helps heaps.

[Hidden in reply to charlie12]

You will find this, and other exercises at psychologytools.org/mindful...

Margaret,

I hope you find something to help - it's such a b***** being awake throughout the night.

Very best,

Isadora

[Whippit in reply to charlie12]

Dear Charlie, thanks for this post. I've just looked up CBT on Google and there are plenty of courses. It sounds very interesting and helpful. Fantastic if you can think your way to sleep. Sometimes the nights are long and that's when the mind goes into overdrive.

[MargaretJ]

Hi All!

I really shouldn't moan! I have a terrific group of friends and belong to a graet club (I was the sec until I became ill) and I go to the theatre & cinema often! I am alone by choice but just sometimes inability to sleep makes the nights very long indeed!

I do yoga exercises to relax but the sciatica has made it impossible to relax of late!

I don't get down often and I shouldn't unload it on you all! Last night just seemed interminable so thank you all for your support and reassurance!

Love M xxxxxxx

[Solange in reply to MargaretJ]

Hello Margaret,

Don't for one minute think that you shouldn't "unload it" it on us. Many of us know exactly how you feel. Long sleepless nights sap everything out of us - they're horrible and that's when scary thoughts come to the fore in our heads and get us down. I find I'm too tired to get up and read but don't read in bed as it's not fair to disturb my contentedly snoring husband. My latest remedy at the moment is to take 2 Kalms before settling down for the night. Kalms are herbal tablets you can buy in all chemists. I've never been one for taking tablets but started these in desperation. I also take 2 painkillers as my hip, shoulder and back ache so much after a while.

Love Solange

[wendydee in reply to MargaretJ]

Moan all you like, luv! It's what we're here for!

I got a terrific tape from The Penny Brohn Centre (used to be Bristol Cancer Centre) It had visualisation, relaxation and meditation on it, so soothing that I often dropped off to sleep when I was having one of those sleepless nights. Their website may have an up-dated version of it. I still use the old tape, with an even older Walkman! Remember those?

Hope they still do it as it was really helpful to me. I'd offer to copy it for you but I don't have a tape-to-tape copying facility any more ...technology, heh!

Love Wendy xx

[Becalm]

Yes,Margaret I'm on my own and I can relate no bother to what you say. Like you I use the Yoga relaxation techniques and they do work to some extent but I can imagine the sciatica will limit that. A lot of the trouble is getting fixated on the wrong set of thoughts!! My suggestion for this is a jig-saw!! Set up a really difficult one in the bedroom and work on it in the wakeful times. It just breaks your cycleof thoughts and after a spell of it you do sleep.I discovered this during the menopause when I seemed to have given up sleep entirely. I've passed it on to several people who also found it worked unless of course jigsaws are the kind of thng that sends you round the bend as they do with some people!!

Anyhow - hope things are better. I truly admire your spirit. Have you been to Anna Karenina yet? I am looking forward to going with a friend on Weds.Apparently the crits say it is lavish but lacks depth. I can't say I am going to be over critical - just doing something normal is what is important to me !!

Hope you get a good spell now. - Bunty.

[angelina]

Hi Margaret,

Have you tried listening to talking books in bed. It can be very relaxing and clears

your head of other things. You can borrow them from the library .....and if you get

a sexy voice narrating......well thats even better.

Good luck

Angie x

[MargaretJ in reply to angelina]

LOL! I go for R4xtra on iplayer!

[Jane]

I'm still with my chocolate teapot, so I envy you

[Hidden]

I know what you mean about the long nights. It was worse around the time of diagnosis and during and just after chemo. My husband sleeps upstairs but he might as well be on the moon because I do a lot of thinking alone downstairs. It's good to have each other isn't it.

[Hidden]

Hi Margaret...

I meant each other as in you, me and everyone here.

[MargaretJ]

Indeed it is Tina!

Thanks to all of you!

M xxxx!

[pixinafix]

Hello lonely one

Whilst I'm not alone, as an insomniac I used to feel like the only person awake in the world. This was cured by tuning in to radio 4 which becomes the world service at 1am, and using headphones. The volume is just loud enough to hear without straining, but not loud enough to be stimulating. And it's all talk. Music stations don't work as they are too stimulating and don't aid sleep. It even works if I don't understand the language when on hols! And on a holiday in a remote part of Russia where there were no radio stations, I listened to the hiss coming from the radio, and that worked too.

You are not alone

Love Christine

[MargaretJ]

Hi Christine!

I too have used the dear old world service, these days it tends to be R4X! As this is via TV and the light can be a prob I use iplayer on the ipad but have to choose long programmes!

I am dropping off easily tonight!

M xxxx

[Whippit]

Dear Margaret, and all insomniacs, Sleeplessness is torture. It's only since diagnosis that I've experienced how long and lonely the nights can be with or without someone there.

My daughter has had problems sleeping most of her adult life. She tells me that a massage and acupuncture with sleep therapy are very helpful.

Chocolate teapots and astronauts. Whilst the images tickled me pink I did really feel for you ladies having so much to cope with and having unhelpful partners/husbands on top of that! I remember dear Lizzie saying we all have a choice. Harsh but wise words.

Love to you all. xxx

[MargaretJ]

True Whippet and I do not regret my choices, on the whole! I have never needed much sleep but being woken by stoma overactivity which requires a complete change of bedding, ensuring that I am both wide awake and exhausted by the effort just tips me over the edge sometimes!

Thank goodness for this site and people who understand.

My accupuncturist is unwell this week and cancelled my appointment yesterday! I hope she is well enough for at the end of the week as I have a visitor next week and I miss the beneficial effects of the accupuncture!

Love M xxxxxxx