I was shaking and couldn't really take in what they were saying. It's like the words were bouncing off my head and dropping on the floor where I stared at them trying to make them make sense.
Last ct scan showed two spots.
One on the outside of my liver
And one deep in my pelvis on my sigmoid colon.
Pet scan booked.
Then MDT will review.
Picc line.
Echocardiogram and kidney test to make sure I could take more chemo.
Possibly a laparoscopy if surgery is a possibility...
Everyone very kind and very organised.
Just over 4 years NED.
A year of slowly climbing ca125 but clear scans till today.
Had rebuilt my life, career, everything.
Feels like I failed a really unfair test.
I have this week off.
Had planned a romantic break in Cornwall and a couple of nice boutique hotels.
I know I can get through it. (The cancer treatment not Cornwall.)
I know what to expect, which actually makes it less scary
But I just don't want to.
I wanted to be worried about missing the bin men, meeting that deadline, and whether i could get away with a red onion rather than a shallot. But nope, I get to worry about if I'll respond to treatment this time. If my body can stand more chemo. If i can have more surgery. Is this the first of many recurrences?
Ovarian Cancer recurrence, 1 star, definitely would not recommend
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sorry to hear this Diana. It’s what we all fear. But with a 4 year NED I would think you can so get back to NED. Have read so many have had one recurrence only. Good luck with it all and please keep us posted. X
Sorry to hear this Diana and can imagine what a blow it is. You’re right that after four years your life is pootling along almost normally like it did PC.
I can’t offer anything by way of insight I’m afraid but am rooting for you ❤️
So sorry to hear this Diana. It must be such a setback after four years of NED. I am 41/2 years NED now and I can’t imagine having that news told to me. I sure hope that your treatments will put you back to that place again. Sending a hug and hoping you do well. xx Donna
I cannot believe how you’ve managed to put into words so perfectly how we would all feet getting the news of a recurrence
Please be assured you have not failed any test only passed one for four years!! Such a long remission will surely stand you in good stead for being there again.
I wish you all the best, you know what’s ahead less scary but no easier I’m sure.
You will get back to worrying about the bins or what onion to use in the future. Xx Jen 😘
I can so empathise with what you have expressed. I am NED and sometimes worry that I shouldn't have rebuilt my career in case I get a recurrence; in-between that shallot/onion dilemma. I wish you all the very best for your treatment. I hope you still get to enjoy your trip to Cornwall.xx
It’s the news none of us want and it shocks us to our core, I’m with you and I recurred last year after 5 years just on the point of being discharged. I’m starting chemo soon too…somehow I’m glad of that and it puts me back in the driving seat.
You’ve had a good long remission there so hopefully you’ll get the same again, it sounds like your team are being thorough and caring too. I hope you’re able to relax on your trip and come back refreshed and ready to smash the chemo! Sending hugs Xxx
Hi Diana really sorry to hear you have had this bad newsIt is unfair I have been through it myself life just getting back to normal and everything comes crashing down
My recurrence was in lymph node in pelvis was missed on scan by oncology was only picked up on radiologist report later as bloods were fine
Had chemo and surgery was a lonely time as 2020 at start of covid so unable to accompany me to hospital or visits at home from friends but got through it and that was four years ago
I am stage four diagnosed 10 years ago one recurrence
It is hard like you said everything back to normal but you can do it will take time but you did it before you can do it again
Your description of how the news hit is so well written, I'm sending loads of positive thoughts and love to you X you are a warrior and you can do this! X
Hi. I get your shock and horror at disrupting your life again but your long remission will make you more sensitive to chemo and more likely to reach ned again. But can you take your holiday first? We had a long planned trip to Italy planned in April. I started chemo March 1 Had two treatments then skipped one to take the trip. After we got back I started up again. My oncologist was all for it.
Hi Diana. You've expressed your feelings so well here but the standout for me is your subtle humour. This, along with the chemo, is what will get you through. If you don't already, then this is the time to use your talent with words to document this next part of your journey. And definitely have that romantic trip to Cornwall, either before treatment as an incentive to keep going or after treatment as a reward for a job well done. All the best lovely lady .xx
I understand totally! I was 6 years NED when I was rediagnosed. It was like a kick to the gut. I was in disbelief and semi-Denial.
It sucks to have to continue treatment, but thank God it’s available! Take it one day at a time. Maybe Cornwall will help clear you head.? Tell yourself you are Not this cancer, it does not define you. It’s something you have to take care of, as you continue to live your daily life.
I should’ve added that I was diagnosed in 2008, have had a total of 3 recurrences, and have fought it back with the help and guidance of a great oncologist and team.
This was me in November 2022 I felt just as you describe. Found Recurrence, tumour on the Spleen and two on Liver after 4 and a half years being NED. Operation wasn’t on the cards, Chemo left me with partial response, PAPS for 7 months didn’t work. Back on Chemo 1 cycle left to do. Fighting as well with a few private Avastin cycles hoping to be NED again.
Oh bless you DianaPrince, I think we all fear the recurrence because sadly, 9/10 it will come!!!Stay positive, thats one thjng I tell myself, I lost all my hair with chemo, white blood count up & down all the time, delays etc& if I had to go through it again, I now know what to expect!!An elderly close neighbour of mine had lung cancer (completely different I know but) they got rid of it then only to be told, its come back to a different part of her lung but also to her brain, poor thing, nothing they can do & shes now in a hospice, so keep fighting on!!!xx
Hi Diana, your post is as eloquent as ever. I’d react exactly the same if/when I recur. I’m sure you’ll get back to NED again as you were in remission for 4 years. We all know recurrence is common with this disease but you can’t help but hope that you’ll be one of the lucky few and to have that hope shattered must be devastating, maybe even worse than initial diagnosis, but many women recur only once, you’ll get your head around it and get through the treatment like you did before. Sending love and hugs, Sally xxx
Very sorry to hear you have recurred. I too had a recurrence on my sigmoid colon , had a bowel resection (no colostomy) 6 more rounds of chemotherapy. The regime I was on was a bit easier than the first time and I didn’t lose a hair on my head. I was very happy about that. It was still tough but I got through it.
Then I was started on a PARP. That was 6 years ago and NED since. Perhaps they will start you on a PARP after your chemo?
It’s rubbish but you will get through it. Good luck.
I'm just recovering from my first recurrence. It was on my liver. One hospital told me surgery was not an option. Their 6 months of chemo didn't work so they referred me to another hospital. Oncologist there offered surgery straight away. So be prepared to ask lots of questions about your treatment options and if you are not happy, ask for a second opinion. I know it feels horrible starting all over again. But you fought it last time. Try to generate that inner strength again.
There is a mcmillan booklet specifically about mets on liver and the treatment. It might not be displayed on shelves so ask for it.
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