I was diagnosed stage 3C high-grade serous Ovarian or Fallopian cancer in Oct 2016. I’m BRCA double negative. I’m 42.
I had a nine-hour surgery and six rounds of carbo/taxol at the Marsden which finished 12/04/17. I was clear for twelve months.
I have now had rising CA125, doubling between January and May. My scan in April didn’t show anything except a possible 4mm nodule that “might be something, or not”. I had another CT and an MRI last Wednesday and see my onc next Wed. When I saw her three weeks ago she said I could expect to have treatment again sometime this year.
But the thing is I am starting to feel unwell (which I didn’t first time round). Every day I feel fuller in the tummy and more tired. I feel a little short of breath and have some discomfort in my lungs. It seems to get worse every day.
I’m panicking. It’s bad enough I have to go through all this again but to actually feel what the cancer is doing is terrifying. Right now, I feel like I would be dead in months if I did nothing.
Anyway, I’m not really asking a question here. I’m just venting somewhere I know is safe and understanding.
I know so many women have relapses and I always knew there was a high chance of it coming back. But I thought I’d be one of the lucky ones, you know? I thought it was just a blip and then I could get on with my life. But now I realise I am going to live with this for the rest of my life. And that is heartbreaking.
Thanks for reading.
***edited to add photo of me and my husband at a wedding last weekend. How can I possibly have cancer and be so happy and healthy! I am glad the wedding wasn’t this weekend - I wouldn’t have been feeling so well.