Anxiety

[juliamillen]

Do any of you who are post treatment suffer from constant anxiety. It’s better when I keep busy but there all day long until it lifts in the evening. How do you learn to live with the uncertainly of it coming back hanging over you all the time?

[Coldethyl]

I had health anxiety prior to diagnosis - tbh it’s been a bit easier since diagnosed as now it’s a more focused worry so I can control it better - I’m on repeat scans as my marker up so I’m living like Schrödinger’s cat in limbo land - I do lots of things I enjoy to help push it a bit further to back of mind and practice mindful mediation and breathing to calm me - I repeat a mantra to myself when I feel the anxiety rising of “ it is as it is” and this helps me accept that things are uncertain and out of my direct control - I wish life were otherwise but it’s not so I have to make best of the now - when I find myself looking too fer ahead I acknowledge that it’s scary and make plans in my head for how I will cope - I’m better with a plan even if it’s just my funeral plan as it gives me some sense of being an active participant in my life still- find something you enjoy doing and do lots of it was my psychologist’s advice so I do that x

[juliamillen in reply to Coldethyl]

Good advice from your psychologist even if it involves eating lots of cake!

[Coldethyl in reply to juliamillen]

Mine is watching old episodes of Poirot and other detective programmes on YouTube - I’d like it to be cake but I’m diabetic !

[Katmal-UK]

Hi I think I have learnt to live with it, not sure how to be honest though I do tend to talk about it in a very matter of fact way. I don't ask questions of my onc, never have done. I don't want to know the ins and outs, knowing the ins and out tends to freak me out and make me anxious - if that makes sense! I try not to dwell on being told 'it will shorten your life' I took the advise of a MacMillan Nurse who once said don't put things on hold or let your diagnosis stop you otherwise you will find that you do nothing and just exist. I do hope you find your own way of coping. Big hug, Kathy xxx

[juliamillen in reply to Katmal-UK]

Good advice I have been putting doing up my bathroom on hold - must make a start on it!

[harpist_UK]

I think you try to focus on things other than cancer and have a project. Creative work is particularly good for taking you somewhere else (I do creative writing, but art etc also good - something where you lose sense of time) or getting involved in a project with people who have nothing to do with cancer. Music is also good - joining a choir, for example.

[juliamillen in reply to harpist_UK]

About to go away but will start project bathroom when I get back I do spend too much time doing nothing

[Coldethyl in reply to juliamillen]

Worrying about cancer loves a vacuum so anything that involves planning or doing something out of usual routines is great at edging it out of that space - I love what was said above about just getting on and not waiting to do stuff - it’s easy to think I’ll do it when I get a clear scan or when I’ve had x y and z months NED - by which time you’ve wasted all that time and there’s always something to put a fly in the ointment with this disease anyway x

[harpist_UK in reply to juliamillen]

Sounds good! Just engaging with something else helps to switch off the intrusive, troublesome thoughts. A phrase I think I read somewhere is 'I am not my cancer' - be who are and show who's in charge

[Lyndy]

Going back to work absolutely saved my bacon I think...writing and horse riding when I can are also good absorbing things which help. A word to the wise though...although I am very glad for this site there was a period where I was on it too much and I had to take a break xx

[Irisisme]

Hi Julia,

You’ve had lots of good suggestions already but I’d just like to say that I’ve heard anxiety after the all clear/NED is a common problem. The fear of it coming back and the fear that your loved ones won’t understand that fear etc. I know there are self-help books out there on just this subject so checking the reviews of those might lead you to one that might help you.

Good Luck,

Iris xx

[janeroe]

Hi Julia .. my doctor actually put me on a anxiety pill called lustral .. it has worked wonders for me ... I was in such a bad place .. I also have a lorazepam on really bad days .. I tried mindfulness and things but it was the pill that worked for me

[TarbonNZ]

I agree with all of the above. It is always lurking in the back of the mind waiting for those quiet moments to then take control and send you into the downward spiral. Keep busy, do something you love to do. Put routines in place. I have just been diagnosed with a recurrence, but I have continued with the routines I put in place when I came out of treatment, and initially fell into a big hole. This time I am finding it easier to cope. Stay strong, Therese

[Maxjor]

I find compartmentalizing helps. If I start to feel anxious, I allow myself some time to "freak out" then say no more till tomorrow, and occupy my time other ways--family, friends, work (so much work!), and truly enjoying (focused on it) what I am doing--- and one that really makes me feel good is future plans even if they are a week away. I am headed to a beach vacation tomorrow and then two weeks later, a short, weekend trip to Toronto (a one hour flight for us)---each thing makes me feel happy that in addition to that "status quo" at home, we have fun things planned. It is an anxiety reducer! But I also get pills from my doctor for when anxiety is high--usually between test taking and results--I rarely take them but having them in my bag seems to give me security! Hoping you find your solace! oxox Judy

[juliamillen]

Thanks for that advice. Good to know I am not the only one struggling with this anxiety. It doesn’t seem to have thoughts attached to it. It just lurks around giving me butterflies in my stomach.

[Craftyclara]

Hi. I suffered anxiety all the time in the first year post treatment but have found this year it has gotten a little better. Still terrified that it will come back but now have the view that I have no control if it does and if it does I will just get my head down and get on with treatment like I did last time.

When I'm feeling anxious I use breathing exercises to help calm me and also make sure I celebrate my wins no matter how small they are.

It's normal to feel anxious we have been through hell so dont beat yourself up about being anxious

Also dont be afraid of seeking help whether this be therapy, meditation or something from your GP.

Wishing you calmer times ahead. X

[juliamillen in reply to Craftyclara]

Thanks for your advice. Everyone has been very kind and made good suggestions. It is good to hear your anxiety has got better

[CynD]

YES! YES! And thank you for putting it out there! I've tried to explain to people that I feel like I'm in prison, on death row, but I've been given a "stay of execution" that is only good for some unknown amount of time, and the waiting and wondering if today is the day is almost worse than the alternative! No one gets it. I read somewhere on here where someone likened it to waiting to go before a firing squad! EXACTLY! How do we move forward and into the future? My hair has come back in SUPER curly even though it was straight before. If you knew the money I've spent on perms in my life trying to get the curl I have now! it's so curly it seems like it's not getting longer, and, well, right now I HATE the way it looks. Between the super curly, now mostly grey hair, and the 30+ lb. weight gain, I feel like I look like a man. People always say, "Hair grows! It's gonna look great eventually." What they don't get is that the odds of me being around long for my hair to grow out to a point where Iike it, or for me to lose pounds, or get back in shape after the ravages of chemo, are NOT in my favor. Statistically, according to the new General Oncologist I saw, I have a 95% chance of a recurrence! And then, oh yeah, there's that OTHER cancer I have! Anxiety? Yes, constantly. Sleep has become a thing of the past. Worry has usurped pretty much every aspect of my life as friends (for lack of a better word) look at me like I'm crazy and tell me I should be so happy because the Dr. told me I was NED. Yeah, true, for those first 3 months. And now I'm coming up on that 2nd 3 months. What will it be THIS time? Still NED? And even if I am and the news is good, will it just be for 3 more months? When is the other shoe going to drop? When can I finally relax back into life? I'm sorry I'm without any great advice, but I wanted to let you know you are SO NOT ALONE in your feelings. I'm right here with you.

XO

...Cyndie

[Lizchips]

Ask you Dr. For lorazepam 1 mg, take when you wake up everyday, just takes the edge off. My Dr prescribed me 60 at a time. Worked great, you can work and drive. ❤❤Liz

[amandanewe2]

hi hun I have just started a mindfulness course and am finding it so help;ful with my anxiety/p;anic attacks plus i am having reiki which is really helping. good luck xxx