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Anxiety but not about mum?

Hi Ladies,

This is a weird one but thought I'd ask your opinions.

I've found myself being anxious and irrational about lots of other things, to the point it is really effecting me. I've got a very stressful job, but in the 6 years i've been there i've never had the anxious feelings like I've been having recently.

I think I know the answer but do you think it's just all linked to mum's cancer? and my anxiety is coming out somewhere else? Has anyone else found this, I'm wondering if I should go to the GP

10 Replies

Hi there, I think the diagnosis of our mums really affects us more than we think, we always cope as us ladies do! But I do find day to day life when people moan about trivial issues I find it really irritating. I think sometimes the anxiety can take over. I think trying to relax and having some of your own time can help xx


Hi luv,

Cancer effects more than our bodies, it messes with our minds.

It also affects everyone linked with us too,I know from experience.

Macmillan help family members,also might be worth speaking to the nurse on this forum for more advice,or see if there is a support group in your area for family.

If you need to,speak to your gp,they may be able to refer you.

It may not be linked to your mums cancer,but,you are obviously concerned it might be if you cannot think another reason.

Don't suffer alone and I wish you all the best

Carole xxx


Hi Lovely,

Like yourself I'm a supporter of someone with cancer, like the other ladies have said cancer effcts everyone differently, for example when we found out about my special person we cried then we did the traditional British thing of have a cup of tea, after I took 'control' by dealing with her appointments, I still do as it's my coping mechanism and she's happy for me to do that. I would try the kalms as it might be something so small that's effecting you like this it could balance your 'ying yang'.

If none of that works go to your GP or speak to McMillan they're there for all of us not just the patients and sometimes just talking to someone helps everything.



I am exactly the same. Since mum was diagnosed I've been anxious about all sorts of things. Especially work, I'm a primary school teacher and normally love my job but the last 4 months have seen me become anxious about pencils not being sharpened and other stupid stuff like that. This week I even got anxious about what I said at a staff meeting which is ridiculous.

I decided to start yoga once a week and try to practice mindfulness both of these really are helping.

I also try to go horse riding once a week as that's my hobby.

I have been seeing a counsellor for a couple of months too.

I hope this was helpful for you and I think you should see your gp if things are getting too much.

Also feel free to message me anytime!

Jane x


I know how stressed my daughtesr feels about my illness. I feel so sorry to be causing then stress at this time when sthey have a demanding job and their small children. Their life should be carefree at this time in life

It is so normal to be stressed when caring for someone with cancer I seemed to be more stressed when my husband was diagnosed 10 years ago than with my own diagnosis and this resulted in my being stressed at work I took a 12 month career break which luckily we could afford for me to do

Out local hospice has facilities for family to talk to a councillor and to have lovely treatments - massage, aromatherapy etc all great at reducing stress.

I hope everything turns out well for you. I'm sure your GP will be able to help.

The stress and anxiety will likely be due to dealing with the cancer. It affects all the family

Best wishes and big hug xx


Hi MissEd. I'm on here as my mum has OC too and I find the ladies on here give me hope and inspiration for my mum.

I know exactly how you feel. I have a demanding job and two small children and have been feeling anxious about everything recently. Part of this is about my mum, she's been poorly for a couple of months with something unrelated to her cancer but this has resulted in lots of trips backwards and forwards to the hospital, that on top of everything else has led to me feeling pretty burned out.

One thing I do understand though is that my being exhausted and anxious doesn't help anyone so I went to see my GP. He was great. He prescribed beta blockers and stress counselling. The beta blockers have helped quite a lot and whilst I still worry they've stopped me feeling overwhelmed and panicky! I'm yet to start the counselling but I have had some in the past which I found really helpful.

Make sure you take some time out to do some things you enjoy. I feel guilty for doing anything that isn't with my children or mum but I need some time away from it all occasionally!

Sending you a huge hug. This is really hard and it sounds like you're doing a wonderful job looking after your mum, just make sure you look after yourself too.

If you want to chat more with someone who understands exactly what you're going through then feel free to PM me. Xxx


Thank you everyone for your support and advise xx


Hi there, my daughter has suffered with anxiety brought on by my illness and that of my husbands illness before. We sought advice from the GP who gave her some low dose meds and put her in touch with a counsellor who has helped her emensley to cope xxx

1 like

Hi there you need to take a step back and not let the whole thing of your Mum take over your life. You need time out, do you have family that will help you. I think contact Macmillan Nurses and they will help you with assistance.


Hi, I'm also on here as my mum has OC and I completely relate to the anxiety issue. Sorry that I've taken a little while to respond we haven't had the best of weeks. Mum was diagnosed in 2012 and has had various treatments over the years but the last year has been the toughest. I've never suffered from anxiety until now and I tend to get it during mum's 'better' periods so I didn't relate it to her illness.

One of the things that I find difficult is getting into cars when other people are driving. Having sought the help of a counsellor I've come to understand that I like to be in control (if I'm honest I knew this) and I'm struggling with not being in control of mum's illness which makes me try and control other aspects of life more.

I fully recommend speaking to a counsellor because for me it helped to understand why I was feeling and acting this way.

For me also the anxiety comes and goes and this is reassuring to know it's not a permanent thing.

Hope this helps.



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