Is it just me?!

[amandanewe2]

just wondered if anyone gets the same; but if people i havent seen for awhile who dont know my diagnosis and i say I have cancer they immediately give me the "I'm so sorry pity look"when i say i'm fine they look in disbelief. I want to say Yes i have cancer but now i enjoy EACH day i enjoy looking out of my garden seeing beautiful green fields with birds on. I enjoy daily texts from my daughter, banter and laughter between me and my fiance, cuddles from my family and 3 dogs and wonderful caring texts from friends and be able to be me on this great inspirational site

thank you all of you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Juleswhee]

I think a lot of people write you off so to speak , now mine has recurred they definitely have . I have been a bit naughty , there are a few friends I haven’t told about my recurrence , I can’t bear to see that look . I just act normal and if I can get out of mentioning it I will. Xx

[luluw in reply to Juleswhee]

I don't think it's 'naughty'. I've only told immediate family about my recurrence. I'll only tell everyone else when I have to. I don't want cancer to define me and I don't want other people to be affected by my disease-why should they suffer?

Lou xxx

[Coldethyl in reply to luluw]

I haven’t told one of my friends that I had cancer - we don’t see one another often and mostly just exchange postcards etc - her husband was a consultant and she an ex nurse so I just couldn’t face the conversations as they always tell you the worst case - also she is older than me and her close friend died of this so I didn’t want to know - tbh I keep most of the nitty gritty about by cancer to myself - mental effects I’ll share on twitter but other stuff I keep shutdown - few know I’m even being checked for recurrence - it isn’t what I want to talk about all the time nor do I want pity or to feel the odd one out - people assume you’re either cured or about to keel over x

[Juleswhee in reply to luluw]

Absolutely my thoughts , the only reason some of my friends know is because my brother went into meltdown and he was phoning them instead of talking to me , one phoned crying saying “ I am sorry it’s terminal”I said it’s incurable it’s not the same thing , they don’t see it .xx

[Lyndy]

Yes we are expected to be in one of two states: cured or deaths door.....there’s nothing in between lolx

[SuziTench1]

Lmao..🤣🤣. Yes same here .. however I did have one associate.who said .. oh ok .. how long have you got .. ?? .. I said forever ..muppet ..lol . Just have to enjoy and value what we have and each other.. ❤❤xx

[Jan2612]

We are all so different that what helps one person really rankles and irritates another. A good example is....”Well you’re looking really well” - for me - I love being told this as more often than not I’ve made the effort to look my best. Other days are not so great and it’s great that people care enough to ask if I’m okay or need anything. Others hate being told they look fine.

I tend to let it go because really they are often far less aware than we are. Knowing the right way to react or what to say is a minefield because on the other hand you’ll have those who were close and suddenly you stop hearing from them - they really don’t know what to say and the longer it’s left, the more difficult it becomes.

X

[Hidden]

I don't mind people knowing as such, but I've become increasingly reluctant to tell people when i'm going back on chemo. It's so boring for that then to become the focus of every conversation. It's bad enough having such a chunk of our time taken over by treatment and general sitting around without wanting to lose more time talking about it. I managed pretty well with the last lot, but I think weekly taxol may turn out to be more difficult!