Help!

[Kkaren]

Hi everyone. I am in complete panic mode and have been for the past three weeks. Everything has happened so quickly and completely out of the blue. I am due for a hysterectomy next Tuesday and have a phobia about hospitals, worried sick about the general and also hate being sick or anyone else around me as well. I am a born worrier and the worlds worst over thinker. I don’t know exactly what I am facing yet and will only know following analysis of my ‘bits’ once removed. I seriously can’t cope. Can anyone offer me reassurance that there is life ahead of this. X

[Lily-Anne]

You need to be careful that your individual concerns aren’t lumped together to make one big one, as each is very different

Fear of hospitals: new fear or old one? What scares you?

Sickness: they will do what they can to avoid it, they like clearing it up less than you can bear to be sick or deal with it do you will be given anti-sickness medication. The anaesthetist will see you before the operation and you can discuss this with them. Also you will see a pharmacist who will talk about what’s available. I’m not good with general anaesthetic but had no sickness yet three major surgeries

Is there life ahead of this: tomorrow is promised to nobody, with or without cancer. You will make yourself ill worrying about the unknown. So how about some positive planning. Book a treat for post surgery. Fill your time to avoid over thinking.

Ask away as much as you want. Everyone here is amazing and a source of support that has been invaluable to me for the last six years

Good luck

LA xx

[Kkaren in reply to Lily-Anne]

I am a control freak and don’t like things being taken out of my hands. Too busy looking things up on the internet too !!!!

[Lily-Anne in reply to Kkaren]

I’m a control freak too but it can be positive control too

Xx

[BeeWild in reply to Lily-Anne]

Brilliant and considered reply Lily-Anne you are a guru 💖 hope you’re better and your Avastin is going ahead xx

[Emalou71]

It's a scarey time I know, I can only share my experience when I underwent ultra radical surgery in 2014 and the team were great. They talk you through everything and will answer all questions, I had no sickness after the general as I was given good meds and apart from feeling a little groggy for a day or so no issues at all. Make sure You rest well after the op and take things slow and careful.

To help with worry and stress I have found reflexology to be a great help, maybe something like this will help you?

I wish you well and please let us know how you get on when you up to it..

Big hugs xxx

[Kkaren in reply to Emalou71]

Thanks for your reply. I just don’t cope well as I am sure you can gather. Best wishes to you from me. X

[Ossett]

Oh love I feel for you, I was exactly the same, but honestly it was no where near as scary as I thought, and can honestly say I never felt any pain afterwards they are really good on pain management, also the anaesthetist was making jokes and made me laugh.

Before this operation the last time was 30 years ago and boy have things changed they are so lovely and they know how scared you are, I also don’t like being around poorly people lol scared of them throwing up in front of me etc, lol.

You will be fine and home before you know it.

You are in panic mode at the moment, we have all been there, but once you know what your dealing with things will settle down and you will feel better than this.

Wishing you a speedy recovery and if you want to talk just get on here day or night there’s always someone to help you.

Trish x

[Kkaren in reply to Ossett]

Thank you Trish. I really have wound myself up into a tizzy! Always been scared of the day I never saw and help here it is. I have always been very much a glass half empty rather than half full so feel this state is just typical of me. Once that’s over will be worrying about what they find when they get in there. I hope you are keeping well Trish. X

[harpist_UK]

I had two big fears in my life - cancer and hospitals, and I got both on diagnosis! My method was just to take each little step at a time and gradually that eroded my fears - I met so many helpful, empowering NHS staff and discovered it is their job to keep you comfortable. I was diagnosed in October 2015 and am still going, though it's been tougher most recently. I had a very good two years after initial treatment. I think it is true to say that confronting your fears diminishes them. Like you I have a bit of a sick phobia, but I haven't been sick, so that has upped my confidence. If you are in hospital it's essential to have a good set of headphones and some nice music to shut out the sounds you don't want to hear - with this I coped with an alcoholic being sick in the next cubicle to me in A & E - go me .... Learning breathing and relaxation techniques also helps enormously. Another tip from my mother re hospitals and treatment (she also had cancer) - 'it helps if you can find it interesting'. So I try to be interested in what's going on and engage with the personnel.

[Kkaren in reply to harpist_UK]

Can’t believe but you are making me laugh with you ‘sick’ story so thanks for that although when it’s a real fear I sure ain’t funny. Had it since a child. I do yoga so appreciate the relaxation benefits. Hope you are keeping well

[harpist_UK in reply to Kkaren]

Usually there's laughter lurking somewhere even on this challenging journey. You just have to find it! Wishing you all the best xx

[Marieloiuse]

Hi Kkaren,

I remember only too well the horror of your life being turned upside down in the space of a fortnight or so and the nightmarish wait for my operation. From my experience (albeit 30 years ago) you will be in expert hands who know what they are doing. If I were you I would talk over your fears and phobias with the medics; from all I can gather they are infinitely better now at allying fears and anxieties regarding anaesthesia, sickness and pain relief. You don't mention if OC is suspected. I hope not but if that is what is found you will find loads of support and info on here.

As Lily-Anne said no-none is guareenteed tomorrow. It is just brought into much sharper focus when you are waiting for a diagnosis.

Wishing you the best possible outcome.

Catherine x

[Kkaren in reply to Marieloiuse]

Hi yes OC suspected although all professionals I have come across are giving me mixed messages. Waiting on outcome of case conference tomorrow so may know more then. Feel like running away !

[Marieloiuse in reply to Kkaren]

That's exactly how I felt! Remember berating myself for going to the doctor's in the first place i.e. if I hadn't have gone all would be fine!!! Duh! I've been thanking my lucky stars ever since that I did go. X

[BeeWild]

Hi lovely being fearful and scared of the unknown is normal for all of us throughout this journey and it’s not one any one wanted to be on!

Believe me you will get through the surgery and whatever the diagnosis, you will find an inner strength to get through any further treatment needed! You will amaze yourself x

Waiting for surgery and then results provoked anxieties in everyone but you’ll find once you know and have a plan your focus changes to getting to the next step so one day at a time and one hour at a time if needed x

Your team will let you be in control and your voice is important so speak up and tell them how you’re feeling and your fears and they will help you feel in control again

Good luck with everything and fingers crossed for you

Keep us updated

Hugs

Bev x

[Kkaren in reply to BeeWild]

Thanks Bev. So much out my comfort zone at the moment. Hugs to you too x

[charlie12]

Hi there

Poor you ...so so sorry.

I work in a hospital and I can tell you most of us, surgeons, anaesthetists and theatre nurses included are all terrified of hospitals and operations. Almost everybody says afterwards that it wasn’t half as bad as we feared.

We have all got through this ...it’s super scary, but you will get there too. Believe me you will feel very very relieved once you feel that these diseased parts are no longer in your body and that you can get on with the rest of your treatment and then the rest of your life.

Try to keep as busy as you can between now and then , with lots of healthy treats like walks etc etc.

Take care and let us know how you get on.

Love and hugs xxx

[Kkaren]

I am typically a person that worries about EVERYTHING, you have no idea ( and that can include will there be a space in the car park when I get there). Your words really have given me some comfort and re assurance so thank you so much for that. We are all taken out of our comfort zone at some point and this is mine.....

[Coldethyl]

Hi, I suffered for years before diagnosis with panic attacks and health anxiety- I was so scared in run up to diagnosis that I refused to talk to my CNS and no one was allowed to mention cancer to me till results in even though I knew that was what it was- I've had ups and downs since diagnosis and currently being investigated for recurrence but I have to say that I have been far less hysterical and in permanent panic mode since ovarian c came on to scene- that's not to say I don't have bad days but I've found a real problem occupies less of my headspace than all the imaginary ones I used to fret about- I had some counselling and made online cancer friends and whilst I'd rather not be facing an uncertain future, it is possible to find laughter and joy still in in the midst of fear and despair. I found that the business of the ward post surgery was the worst thing so headphones, maybe eye mask and an ipad to distract you- post op was painful but not as painful as I expected and I was just on paracetemol after they took the morphine pump off- wishing you well for next week xx

[Kkaren in reply to Coldethyl]

Thanks for posting. Like you years of anxieties over absolutely nothing with hindsight. What a complete waste of time and energy that all was.. I think for me it is the waiting that I cannot cope with. For some reason I am terrible during the day but positive by the time evening comes. Hope your further investigations have a positive outcome. X

[Coldethyl in reply to Kkaren]

Waiting is hard - once you know and have a plan it is easier -rubbish but easier ! Yes all those wasted years -ovarian cancer was one of my worries so I guess not all wasted though still blindsided when it hit!! Try and keep busy on nice things - I’d rather not have learnt the hard way but you do need to just live and enjoy today - it’s all any of us really have x

[Maus123 in reply to Coldethyl]

That resonates with me. Since my diagnosis, I'm not sweating the small stuff so much anymore. Funnily enough, OC has made me a more content and happier person.. or so I'd like to think :). Xx. Maus

[lorraine71-Australia]

Hi. first stop googling if you need advice or just encouragement come here first and also you have a team you can turn to.

I'm a worrier and for the last 3 years thought this is my last, my oncologist told me when I was diagnosed I would not see the year out ,now that was near 4 years ago.

I look back and I'm Just starting to realize the amount of time I've wasted thinking this could be the end, thing like why plant a new garden why buy a new car or start a painting and why get the Christmas tree out and then , last Christmas I got the tree out and had the whole family for lunch, planted some beautiful bulbs for spring, I'm on my 6th chemo treatment in 4 years it's not always been easy but manageable and I'm sure you can do it.

I"m sure even us worry wort's will find the strength when needed, keep my fingers cross for Tuesday take care Lorraine xx

[Kkaren in reply to lorraine71-Australia]

Thank you Lorraine. I know exactly what you mean. Been looking at nice dresses thinking what’s the point I won’t be here to wear it ! Looking at my lovely garden thinking this will be the last summer I see it. It’s human nature I suppose and unfortunately it is just my personality type to process info in this way. I am glad you are doing well and it just goes to show that doctors don’t always know what they are talking about. So far I’ve had one say he’s not even sure that’s what it is and if it is then it’s very early days followed by one who basically said the opposite. I just wish professionals would just take a moment before they speak as I don’t think they appreciate just how you cling onto the words you want to hear.

Hoping to get a phone call today to find out exactly the plan for next week.

Take care of yourself Lorraine. X

[Maus123]

Hi Kkaren. The easy way to tackle the fear of bad things happening during sedation or hospital is asking for some anti-anxiety meds. Makes a big difference and can help you through those initial big steps.

However..

Eventually you will need to learn how to cope, as most of us are in it for the long haul. Some good advice has been given by the ladies already. Try to take it one step at a time. Make sure you speak up early and loudly if you need something.. like more pain meds, different anti sickness meds, pre-op anxiety control etc... i. e. don't suffer needlessly.

I'm the world's biggest whimp when it comes to pain and medical procedures.. I even ask for full sedation for some dental work. But so far I have found the journey manageable. There are good times too.

All the best. Maus