Hi lovely ladies
I'm just having a wobble. Had the builders in today doing work on the house. This was something we always planned to today but you know how it is, you keep putting things off, and after being diagnosed at Christmas it has kicked us up the back side to get these jobs done. My partner won't be home from work for another hour or so and the builders have just left for the day and for some reason i've suddenly got all teary and dark thoughts have popped into my head. Instead of thinking that wow this is gonna be great when it's finished, all I can think is that I won't be around to see it and I'm feathering the nest and making the home nice for my partner for when I'm no longer here.
I only had my last chemo yesterday and I don't like to think like this because I try to stay positive, but sometimes it's so hard to even think that I have any kind of future.
I'm sure i'll have got a grip by the time my partner comes home coz he doesn't like to see my like this and say's it's no good for me and I know he's right, it's just hard, so I just thought I'd pop on here and share my thoughts with you lovely ladies and hope that you'll know exactly where i'm coming from and help me to shake off this negativity please?
With many thanks