Ridiculous

How come for last six months have been fine enjoying my new normal life holiday booked to go away in five weeks with my son and his family to Spain then the review letter comes through the door and I am a bag of nerves

I know it's ridiculous and keep telling myself all will be fine but it's just not getting through to my brain

Roll on Friday get it out of the way and put it to back of my mind again

However hard we try to carry on as normal it's always there lurking in the shadows bloody cancer

16 Replies

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  • Our minds can run wild can't they. I try and tell myself there's no point in worrying because it won't change the outcome. However that's easier said than done! So my latest strategy is to think the worst and anything better is a bonus!!

    Good luck, keep us posted xx

  • Might try that approach

    Will let you know outcome x

  • Keep believing petal. I've booked to go in 4 weeks to Spain. I have just finished radiotherapy and should have rung to make an appointment for a liver biopsy. I am playing 'truant' and not ringing.....go for it, it will be fine and have a great holiday 😆😆 xx

  • Oh Babsclunn I so know how you feel! I had my review last week and the couple of weeks building up to it were awful! I didn't even realise how anxious I was until it was over and it was like a huge weight was lifted!!! I even got a cold sore which I haven't had for ages but I reckon I was so stressed everything was out of kilter! Review went fine for me so hopefully it will be the same for you!!!

    Dxx

  • Should be fine feel ok that's the annoying thing about it getting me anxious

  • Know how you feel Babs...and I haven't found anyway round it either xx

  • Yes I totally agree with you we turn to jelly at review time. I hope all will go well and you can enjoy your holiday with your son and family. This thing always lurks around and no one can see it except us patients.

  • You answered it yourself. RIDICULOUS. Just keep the jitters away since they can play havoc with the outcome. Half the battle against malignancy is in the mind. Try to think of all the pleasant things that you did or may want to do and banish the scare . Keep the Faith

    Naimish

  • I turn into a neurotic mess every 3 months!

  • Hi babsclunn,

    We are all the same, it's not ridiculous, it's quite normal, it's just how it is for so very many of us. I'm on 6 monthly reviews, I have absolutely no reason to think the demon has raised its ugly head but I still have the jitters for a couple of weeks prior to the visit to Christies.

    I'm sending big positive vibes for you, do let us know how you get on. ❤️Xx Jane

  • I echo the sentiments in the above posts.However I am one of those patients who feel that if I have a problem "I will call you" (otherwise leave me alone). I would be happy with 6 monthly review but have been told I "have" to follow their 3 monthly protocols. And like everyone I am freaked out on the run up to appointments. Such a waste of my precious time . I find I am hyperaware of my body and of " stuff" that I wouldn't even notice if those appointment letters didn't keep comming!! Anyway I have decided to comply for the next 2 years as that's when I am at greatest risk of recurrence. I will just have to address the pre appointment anxiety .good luck with your review.

  • Hi there. We are all human and the world of OC and PPC is an uncertain one. I am always anxious going for a review especially if scan and blood results are part of it. I have my Cancer psychologist on hand the same day if I can get an appointment with her. Other than that I really try to practice my mindfulness as living in the now really helps. I know that worrying about it doesn't change anything. For you I hope that Friday's meeting frees you up to really look forward to enjoying that holiday. Good luck . Take care

    XXX

  • Hi babsclum , i get the jitters every time i see a letter from the hospital or GP, i can barely bring myself to read it! Its expected and natural. You're doing well ... we all are mentally resilient, as we don't have a choice.

    My partner broke up with me because he said he doesn't want to deal with me having medical check ups for the rest of my life, as it will impact where and when i need to be during those periods and will get in the way of planning holidays, etc.

    He also didn't want to deal with any pre-scan/test anxiety from me.

    I guess we have to be gateful that we live in a country where we can be tested and reviewed regularly so that it is always managed well, its a blessing.

    X

  • Oh lollie2016, i'm so sorry your partner couldn't handle your appointments, I hope you have support from other sources as well as that you get from us here. Big hugs lovely lady ❤️Xx Jane

  • Thank you so much Jane. It has been very upsetting. As you say , you know who is really there for you in times like these. Thanks for your hugs xxx

  • I know just how you feel. About a week before my appointment I start to wonder what the news will be. I was due to see my oncologist next Friday, (the first time I have gone 4 months without seeing her. Yesterday I received a letter saying "Due to unforeseen circumstances" my appointment has been changed to 26th May. I was not impressed. I had already started to feel apprehensive and now have another 4 weeks to wait and wonder. I know it's silly but you can't help but worry. Hope all goes well with your review. My thoughts are with you.xx

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