I'm not usually one to feel sorry for myself, I usually try to remain upbeat and see the positives. That's not to say I haven't had some really low spots since diagnosis in December 2015 and recurrence in December 2017 after 7 months remission.
My 2nd line treatment is taking the form of Caelyx/Carboplatin. This is week 4 of cycle one so I had really hoped this would be a good week where I could go out and do stuff. But I feel so fatigued and just can't be bothered, the last 2 mornings I have had nose bleeds that have continued for 2 hours+. I am sitting here sniffing as I daren't blow my nose! I know my haemoglobin count must be low and only hope that there is enough time between now and Monday (when I start cycle two) for it to come back up. I am on a clinical trial at the Royal Marsden Hospital, Sutton, Surrey which is a 2.5 hour+ drive from here. I am the driver as my husband is sight impaired. I was desperately disappointed to pull the standard arm of the trial but decided to continue with the RMH as long as I am able as they are one of the best cancer hospitals in the country and I reckon now that I am on their radar when I need further treatment down the line I will be best placed for any new drugs/trials.
My husband is wonderfully supportive and I could not imagine myself taking this "journey" without him but he has his own health issues and I am very concerned that I am dragging him down with me. I just cannot seem to jolly myself out of this low mood.
I love this forum and read the posts and updates pretty much everyday. I don't contribute as much as I should but I do try to add my own thoughts every now and then.
If you have stuck with me this far - thank you, I think I feel a bit better just for writing my thoughts down.
Good luck to everyone who is affected by this horrible condition and thanks for listening.