#stare at the baldie

Having a few days away in Malta πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή and I have to say tourist can be so rude ... I'm just sitting there minding my own and they feel th need to stare... I have become used to it to a certain degree but it is the first time my hubby has experienced it ... I don't mind if they stare and smile but if I catch their eye and look away guilty it stings a bit... after all I'm still me I may look strange .. I do get it I'm bald but I forget and wonder what there staring at... suffice to say a smile goes a long way πŸ˜ƒ

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  • Oh honey...I think some people just can't get a handle on their own actions sometimes. Hoping though that you & hubby are having a wonderful time in Malta! Is it nice and sunny? β˜€οΈ Enjoy my friend & try not to let the naivety of others ruin your holiday buzz xx

  • Thanks Hun how are you??? Yes it's sunny having a few cocktails 🍹 xxx

  • Yeah doing ok ta lovely...looking forward to some Florida sunshine myself in a few weeks :) Have a cocktail for us all won't you! xx

  • Will do .. enjoy Florida xxx

  • Hope you enjoy your holiday in Malta. Try and ignore the stares, most will not even realise they are doing it. Hope the sun is shining! 😎😎

  • The sun is shining and I'm enjoying life ... thank you for your kind words 😍

  • I remember this well when I was bald, I'm not sure people even realise they are doing it, i was in Waitrose once with my husband and a man was just starting at me so intensely as he walked past with his trolley that my husband was going to say something (awkward) but before he could utter a word the man had crashed into the veg gondala - and the telling off he got from his wife was priceless 😜..

    Have a wonderful break, Malta is beautiful enjoy xx

  • Lol love it 😍

  • Hi

    Not lost my hair yet, (early days) but was sat in a restaurant last night wondering why I was getting some strange looks. Quick check in the toilet mirror revealed a clump of mascaraed eyelashes sat on my cheek πŸ˜¬πŸ˜‚. I had to laugh πŸ˜‚.

    Anyway enjoy your holiday πŸ’ž

  • I think if you laugh it lifts your spirits and you learn not to care what others think... I'm bald but I'm no different... the funniest thing I found when losing my hair was where to stop when I put in my foundation with no hair line ... I just looked in mirror and laughed πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Hi Shelly I think it's just rude people in general. Years ago when I was bald I was in my hometown in a department store with my husband. I had a beanie hat on. Two youngish lads (about 20) kept staring and I am afraid I lost it. In a really really loud voice I said 'Yes I'm bald, yes I have Cancer, is there anything else you'd like to know?' suffice to say the whole surrounding area went quiet, the lads went red but boy did it feel good lol. The one and only time it really peed me off. Enjoy your hols and don't let anyone spoil it with their ignorant stares. Kathy xxx

  • I have to say I have resorted to saying yes I am bald get over it I have !!! Xxx

  • Good for you Kathy - love this story. Kicking ass in a mild mannered way. Brilliant.

  • Enjoy your hols and try to remember that they look because they can't hug you!!!

    At the beginning of my treatment when hubby and I went to the chemo unit a lovely lady came in with hardly any hair and I tried not to look but couldn't help it! I wanted to ask was she going through chemo, and say good for you for being out and about etc but of course I couldn't.

    It's normal for people to look, it's just when they look at us it makes it all the more weird!!! Get a tan on your head and as you say, smile !!! That makes them feel guilty for being 'caught'!!!!

    Hope you're in some sunshine and having a wonderful time away.

    Take care and have fun!!

    Clare πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ’πŸ˜€πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ. (Monkey for no looky!!)

  • Love the monkey ... your words are so moving as always ... thanks Clare off for cocktails 🍹 will raise a glass to you and all the lovely ladies on here ... cheers to us oc survivor πŸ·πŸΉπŸ‘πŸ»πŸ’ͺ🏻😍

  • I'll drink to that. Cheers ladies.ppc survivor

  • Cheers 🍻 xx

  • Oh Shelly! It's hard to ignore the stares - maybe stare back and give them a cheery smile?!

    I've always been too self-conscious to go bare-headed. I sunbathed a bit on holiday by the pool with my head bare (I'' sure the sun helps hair growth!), but if I got up, I always put a bandana on. I admire you having the guts to not wear anything.

    Enjoy the cocktails πŸΉπŸ˜„

  • Just had someone with a look of disgust on their face ... it shows there ignorance when you stare back they look away ... horrible but I will face them I look strange but I don't think I'm ugly ... I'm hoping sun dies improve my hair growth I'm sure I can see it lol .. thanks for you kind words makes me feel better xxx

  • Hi Shellygirl, Malta should be nice at this time of year, my cousin has actually flown there this week and is at Quawtra, forgive the spelling. Well people can be rude and inquisitive. I still look at people wearing bandanas because I know they are obviously going through treatment. Enjoy your holiday, perhaps they think you are Sinead O Connor ???? I have been there twice when there were flights from Cork. I enjoyed it but there are a lot of English living there as well, Hope you get to go to Gozo, something you should do if you can.

  • That's exactly what hubby said Im his sinead o'Conner .... hoping to get to Gozo if my strength holds up my legs aren't what they used to be 😍 Thank you for your reply it helps me to smile πŸ˜ƒ

    Ps thinking of going to qwatra tomorrow πŸ‘πŸ»

  • You need to smile on holidays, I met a lady during the week who seems to dislike me for some reason but I smiled and took no notice. I was invited to an event and she made sure she sat far away from me. So at this stage of my life, I feel best thing is to let her off, I have done nothing to hurt her rather is it the opposite but life is too short to worry about it. I hope you enjoy the little yellow buses if they are still there. Have a fab time,

  • Wise words life is too short .. I say this to myself a lot... well all I can say it is her loss as you are such a lovely friendly and kind lady I am grateful to have met you πŸ˜ƒ

  • Enjoy your holiday, whether they stare or not. Have you got the special spangly dress with you? :)

  • I haven't wish I had now lol.. yes I'm having good time regardless ... stuck my younger out a few times I'mbeconing mischievous 😏

  • I'm afraid the starers bring out my naughty side. I got sick of feeling bad about it so now when I catch somebody staring....

    I pat my head, then change the look on my face to one of horror as if I've just realised all my hair has dropped out. ;-) Has my OH in bits most times when you see them skulk off. Another favourite is to look over my shoulder as if to see what they are staring at!!

    Funniest was a delivery driver who's a regular visitor to my home so sort of knows me. He came one day and said 'bloody hell, that's a bit of a drastic haircut!!' I just laughed as he tried to remove his feet from his mouth and then said 'Oh s**t you're on chemo aren't you' I replied 'yes and my hair will grow back, unlike yours!!' He now carries all parcels into the house for me and even offers to help me unpack them if it's a big one.

    You have to laugh.... either that or punch them on the nose ;-)

    Hope you're enjoying Malta.

    L4W

  • lol I'm definitely going to take a leaf out of your book ... sock it too them πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • And don't forget the sun cream.....

    Don't want you glowing like a Belisha beacon ;-) ;-)

  • πŸ˜‚ now that would be worth a stare 😳

  • People! I lost count of how many times I was stared at - by children too (not how I was brought up!) However, I also lost count of how many times random stranger would make a point of catching my eye and smiling or passing on 'keep going girl, you can do it' type comments.

    Probably my worst was being in town and a group of young lads were throwing a baseball cap around in their group. I was minding my own business but as I walked past, one threw the hat inches away from my head & then started laughing 'ha ha look she needs it ha ha ha' I stopped, put down my shopping bags, turned around and eyed each one of the group 'which one of you said that?' They at least had the good grace to look uncomfortable so I just said 'not so brave now are you?' and stromped off! boy did I cry when I got back to my car!

    I finished chemo in May and now have a pixie crop and went into Superdrug to buy some aftershave for my husband for Christmas. the assistant said 'you do realise this is the mens section?' I replied yes of course, it's for my husband' but when I left the shop I was very cross - why did I need to justify who my purchase was for?! Just cos I look like a man now!!!

    You see, people!!! πŸ˜€

  • We have enough to cry about without insensitiveness ... i have had a couple of nice comments .. if they look and smile then I accept that it's the guilty looks there is no need for it ... I'm a person with feelings ... dealing with treatment etc takes its toll but putting up with states and nasty comments makes you feel uncomfortable to say the least ... I'm going to hold my head up high and sod em πŸ˜ƒ

  • My favourite perfume is a mans fragrance - Cool Water. It's not sweet and cloying like some women's fragrances. Cool Water for women - yuck.

    I'd have told the some assistant not to be sexist.

  • Don't forget the sunscreen. A sunburnt bald patch is the worst or so my hubby says.

  • My daughter is always in my case about protecting my head bless her xxx

  • Hi Shelly,

    Glad you are having a good time apart from the stares.Remember,their ignorance is not your fault!

    I remember going to Turkey bald and sweating profusely in baseball hats and wig.I insisted we went to a villa with private pool so I could go bald in privacy.I don't think I would do that now.

    Wear your bald head with pride,you have come through a battle and won,just remember sunscreen on that head!!!

    Lots of love

    Carole xxx

  • Wigs a get so hot and you just want to be free... my eyebrows are beginning to grow back too so I do look strange lol ... I sat trying to eat breakfast in peace when someone just sat and stared nothing I did put him off ... so rude ... having test day today was so exhausted after trip out yesterday can't walk much today ... o the joys of chemo body lol πŸ˜‚... I've got myself some wine to sip on the balcony which was bound as we only paid for room with land view no balcony ... so lucky to have big double bed sea view and big balcony to watch world go by xx

  • Before my recent holiday my Onc told me to drink lots of red wine, it helps the red blood cells recover :-)

    I didn't need telling twice ;-)

  • You just enjoy yourself girl!,wicked I know but when people used to stare at me in my head I used to think,my hair will grow back,but what are you going to do about,your big nose, piggy eyes,weight ?anything I thought might bother them,it always made me smile.

    It all sounds lovely to me,I'm sure you don't look strange, we all have doubts about our appearance,but we are all beautiful inside.

    Things will improve,enjoy the warmth,

    Love Carole xxx