It sounds like you are going through hell. I wish I could say something to help,but my wisdom is low right now. It probably always is.
I didn't get what you have, specifically, only that surgery is a must. Obviously you have to start somewhere, then you take it day by day, watching your labs and making a pest of your all test and lab results. Get a copy of everything for your records, question the nurses. It will give you some sense of power and make you more knowledgable and involved. Look up everything you don't unfpderstand. Be your own advocate.
If +. BRCA runs in your family, it's not your fault! It's just the way it is. You're not being punished for anything.
I don't have children, so I can only guess at your anguish about your daughter.
I know a woman who found out she had breast cancer, she told her 2 sisters. One of them had breast cancer also. The third has multiple myeloma. So all three have cancer. In 2010, I found out I had breast cancer. It was grade 0, so I just had a lumpectomy. When I first found out, I called both my sisters. The younger one had never had a mammogram, it turned out she had stage III. She went through everything and happily, it was her 10 year anniversary today. My other sister was fine. I had to have an open-surgical- biopsy of my opposite breast Dec. 2013. My BRCA. was negative the end of that year, yet the next month, I had a pelvic exam and there was blood. Following a sono for the abdomen and pelvis, I found I had ovarian cancer. So I went through everything, myself.
I'm going on here, but I just want you to remember to be involved in your care and please don't take responsibility for what happens to other family members. You must first take care of yourself. I hope that helps a little. Write back if you'd like, Nesie